[Singapore] - Millionaire Medical Doctor dying of Cancer at
40
Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who
is a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4
terminal lung cancer and came to share with the D1 class his life
experience on 19-Jan-2012.
Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so
please bear with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name
is Richard, I'm a medical doctor. And I thought I'll
just share some thoughts of my life. It's my pleasure to be invited
by prof. Hopefully, it can get you thinking about how... as you
pursue this.. embarking on your training to become dental surgeons,
to think about other things as well.
Since young, I am a typical product of today's society.
Relatively successful product that society requires.. From young, I
came from a below average family. I was told by the media... and
people around me that happiness is about success. And that success
is about being wealthy. With this mind-set, I've always be
extremely competitive, since I was young.
Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need to have
success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I needed
to get trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have colours
award, national colours award, everything. So I was highly
competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated as
a doctor. Some of you may know that within the medical faculty,
ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought after specialities.
So I went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in
ophthalmology, I was also given a research scholarship by NUS to
develop lasers to treat the eye.
So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the medical
devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this
academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I
completed my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long,
the training in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there's
lots of money to be made in the private sector. If you're aware, in
the last few years, there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons
of money to be made there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in
institution, it's time to leave. So I quit my training halfway and
I went on to set up my aesthetic clinic... in town, together with a
day surgery centre.
You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out average
GP (general practitioner), family physicians. They don't. They make
heroes out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not
happy to pay $20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying
ten thousand dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a
breast augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it's a no brainer
isn't? Why do you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician.
So instead of healing the sick and ill, I decided that I'll become
a glorified beautician. So, business was good, very good. It
started off with waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one
month, then 2 months, then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were
just too many patients. Vanities are fantastic business. I employed
one doctor, the second doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And
within the 1st year, we're already raking in millions. Just the 1st
year. But never is enough because I was so obsessed with it. I
started to expand into Indonesia to get all the rich Indonesian
tai-tais who wouldn't blink an eye to have a procedure done. So
life was really good.
So what do I do with the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends?
Typically, I'll have car club gatherings. I take out my track car,
with spare cash I got myself a track car. We have car club
gatherings. We'll go up to Sepang in Malaysia. We'll go for car
racing. And it was my life. With other spare cash, what do i do? I
get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn't out, it's just a
spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a schoolmate who
is a forex trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was wanting
all along a red one, I was getting the silver one.
So what do I do after getting a car? It's time to buy a house,
to build our own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to
build our own bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live
my life? Well, we all think we have to mix around with the rich and
famous. This is one of the Miss Universe. So we hang around with
the beautiful, rich and famous. This by the way is an internet
founder. So this is how we spend our lives, with dining and all the
restaurants and Michelin Chefs you know.
So I reach a point in life that I got everything for my life. I
was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That's me one year ago in
the gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control
and reaching the pinnacle.
Well, I was wrong. I didn't have everything under control. About
last year March, I started to develop backache in the middle of
nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy squats I was doing.
So I went to SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to make sure it's
not a slipped disc or anything. And that evening, he called me up
and said that we found bone marrow replacement in your spine. I
said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means, but I
couldn't accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still
running around going to the gym you know. But we had more scans the
next day, PET scans - positrons emission scans, they found that
actually I have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like "Whoa
where did that come from?” It has already spread to the brain, the
spine, the liver and the adrenals. And you know one moment I was
there, totally thinking that I have everything under control,
thinking that I've reached the pinnacle of my life. But the next
moment, I have just lost it.
This is a CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every
single dot there is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in
fact, I have tens of thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told
that even with chemotherapy, that I'll have about 3-4months at
most. Did my life come crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn't?
I went into depression, of course, severe depression and I thought
I had everything.
See the irony is that all these things that I have, the success,
the trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me
happiness. But i was feeling really down, having severe depression.
Having all these thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no
joy. The thought of... You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep,
no... No, it is not going to happen. It brought not a single
comfort during my last ten months. And I thought they were, but
they were not true happiness. But it wasn't. What really brought me
joy in the last ten months was interaction with people, my loved
ones, friends, people who genuinely care about me, they laugh and
cry with me, and they are able to identify the pain and suffering I
was going through. That brought joy to me, happiness. None of the
things I have, all the possessions, and I thought those were
supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn't, because if it did, I
would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most
down..
You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming up. In
the past, what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car to
do my rounds, visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And
I thought that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy.
But do you really think that my relatives and friends, whom some of
them have difficulty trying to make ends meet, that will truly
share the joy with me? Seeing me driving my flashy car and showing
off to them? No, no way. They won’t be sharing joy with me. They
were having problems trying to make ends meet, taking public
transport. In fact i think, what I have done is more like you know,
making them envious, jealous of all I have. In fact, sometimes even
hatred.
Those are what we call objects of envy. I have them, I show them
off to them and I feel it can fill my own pride and ego. That
didn't bring any joy to these people, to my friends and relatives,
and I thought they were real joy.
Well, let me just share another story with you. You know when I
was about your age, I stayed in king Edward VII hall. I had this
friend whom I thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we're
still good friends. And as I walk along the path, she would, if she
sees a snail, she would actually pick up the snail and put it along
the grass patch. I was like why do you need to do that? Why dirty
your hands? It’s just a snail. The truth is she could feel for the
snail. The thought of being crushed to death is real to her, but to
me it's just a snail. If you can't get out of the pathway of humans
then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of evolution isn't it?
What an irony isn't it?
There I was being trained as a doctor, to be compassionate, to
be able to empathise; but I couldn't. As a house officer, I
graduated from medical school, posted to the oncology department at
NUH. And, every day, every other day I witness death in the cancer
department. When I see how they suffered, I see all the pain they
went through. I see all the morphine they have to press every few
minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them struggling with
their oxygen breathing their last breath and all. But it was just a
job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every day, take
blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me? They
weren't real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the
ward, I can't wait to get home, I do my own stuff.
Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through real?
No. Of course I know all the medical terms to describe how they
feel, all the suffering they went through. But in truth, I did not
know how they feel, not until I became a patient. It is until now;
I truly understand how they feel. And, if you ask me, would I have
been a very different doctor if I were to re-live my life now, I
can tell you yes I will. Because I truly understand how the
patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn it the hard
way.
Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this
journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two
fronts.
Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private
practice. You will start to accumulate wealth. I can guarantee you.
Just doing an implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it's
fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being
successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong.
The only trouble is that a lot of us like myself couldn't handle
it.
Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more
I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I
became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically
to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did
to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that
nothing else really mattered to me. Patients were just a source of
income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these
patients.
A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We
become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That
was what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental
fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice,
sometimes we just advise patients on treatment that is not
indicated. Grey areas. And even though it is not necessary, we kind
of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my friends and
who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to make
money out of me by selling me "hope". We kind of lose our moral
compass along the way. Because we just want to make money.
Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad mouth our
fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have
no qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an
advantage, we do it. And that's what happening right now, medical,
dental everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that moral
compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don't ever have to do
it.
Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our patients as
we start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals, private
practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of
patient folders, I can't wait to get rid of those folders as soon
as possible; I can't wait to get patients out of my consultation
room as soon as possible because there is just so many, and that's
a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very routine job. And this
is just part of it. Do I truly know how the patient feels back
then? No, I don't. The fears and anxiety and all, do I truly
understand what they are going through? I don't, not until when
this happens to me and I think that is one of the biggest flaws in
our system.
We’re being trained to be healthcare providers, professional,
and all and yet we don't know how exactly they feel. I'm not asking
you to get involved emotionally, I don't think that is professional
but do we actually make a real effort to understand their pain and
all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can assure you. So don't lose it,
my challenge to you is to always be able to put yourself in your
patient's shoes.
Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real even
though it's not real to you, it's real to them. So don't lose it
and you know, right now I'm in the midst of my 5th cycle of my
chemotherapy. I can tell you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy
is one of those things that you don't wish even your enemies to go
through because it's just suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out,
you don't even know if you can retain your meals or not. Terrible
feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try to
reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what
pain and suffering is like. But it's kind of little too late and
too little.
You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the resource
and energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your
immediate patients. To understand that there are people out there
who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that
only poor people suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people
do not have much in the first place, they are easily contented. for
all you know they are happier than you and me but there are out
there, people who are suffering mentally, physically, hardship,
emotionally, financially and so on and so forth, and they are real.
We choose to ignore them or we just don't want to know that they
exist.
So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become
professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out
to these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a large
difference to them. I'm now at the receiving end so I know how it
feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It
makes a lot of difference to me. That’s what happens after
treatment. I had a treatment recently, but I’ll leave this for
another day. A lot of things happened along the way, that's why I
am still able to talk to you today.
I'll just end of with this quote here, it's from this book
called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it.
Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows
that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we
will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I
stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is
essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how
to die then we learn how to live. I know it sounds very morbid for
this morning but it's the truth, this is what I’m going
through.
Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell
you what you're supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I
led this life thinking that these are going to bring me happiness.
I hope that you will think about it and decide for yourself how you
want to live your own life. Not according to what other people tell
you to do, and you have to decide whether you want to serve
yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in somebody
else's life. Because true happiness doesn't come from serving
yourself. I thought it was but it didn't turn out that way. With
that I thank you, if you have any questions you have for me, please
feel free. Thank you.