From www.talkingcock.com:
http://www.talkingcock.com/html/article.php?sid=1859&mode=thread&order=0
Gahmen Mounts Large Defensive Exercise
Posted on Sunday, January 22, 2006
Topic: Local News
by K.K. Cheow
Following its recent large-scale terrorist attack drill, the Gahmen
this week mounted an island-wide defensive exercise, the largest
since the last general elections.
This exercise, dubbed Exercise Total Defensiveness, involved a
simulated detonation of several time bombs implanted in opposition
party manifestos, wherein thousands of unsuspecting citizens were
devastated, rocking the country to its core.
Upon detonation, the Singapore Civil Service Defensive Farce
(SCSDF) immediately swung into action, forming panels and
committees to ensure that citizens were shielded from harmful
information.
MPs also handed out care packages to those wounded by past economic
policies, as well as cash bonuses to NSMen who might be suffering
trauma after learning that $5000 and piano lessons could exempt
them from national service.
Animal rescue units were also deployed, consisting mainly of
running dogs, in honour of this years Chinese horoscope.
Impartial observers of the exercise said that citizens should not
be unduly alarmed as the detonation of the time bombs was only a
simulation, consisting mostly of sound and fury.
However, according to Gahmen spokesman Mr. Gerry Mandhir, In the
interests of maintaining our security, we have to show how fast we
can react to attacks on our system and way of life. This exercise
has proven how truly reactionary we are.
Mr. Mandhir also dismissed criticism that Manpowder Minister Ng Eng
Cocks deliberate use of the term time bomb to describe the
Workers Party Manifesto was exploiting current jitters over
terrorism.
We would never compare Mr. Lowsama, I mean, Mr. Low Thia Khiang,
to a terrorist, said Mr. Mandhir.
The next such defensive exercise will be held soon, and is believed
to involve the use of defamation suits to protect against the use
of polemical weapons.
To fight against threats to our nation, Singapore needs to be
united, said Mr. Mandhir. Preferably under a single constituency,
say, Marine Parade.
