Feb 6, 2005
Yes, I do... (have a secret bank account)
Research firm finds that one in five Singaporean wives hides her
assets from her husband
By Chua Kong Ho
MS KAREN Tay has been hiding money from the men in her life since
she started dating in her teens. Now in her late 20s, the
communications executive is still secretive.
Her husband does not know of her share trading account, which
doubles as her savings fund.
'If he knew, he'd go out and splurge on his car or buy something
stupid. This way, he saves for the both of us,' she said with a
smile.
Ms Tay is among a group of financially independent women in
Singapore who keep their assets under wraps to stave off any
overspending by their spouse, to ensure they have enough if the man
walks out and, in one case, because her husband stole from
her.
But unlike their mothers or grandmothers, they do not squirrel away
grocery money in secret Khong Guan Biscuit tins. Their assets take
the form of bank accounts, insurance policies or investments in
shares or property.
But this trait is not peculiar to women here.
A nine-country survey by London-based research firm Synovate found
that one in five (20 per cent) Singaporean wives keeps her husband
in the dark about her emergency fund. If it's any comfort, the
tendency is more prevalent in Japan (38 per cent), Saudi Arabia (32
per cent) and China (21 per cent).
On the other hand, women in France (7.2 per cent), United States
(7.6 per cent), Brazil (9 per cent), Romania (12 per cent) and
Britain (16.8 per cent) are more open.
The survey interviewed 301 Singaporean women, of which three in
five were married. It also found that 75 per cent of the married
women earned less than their spouse, and that almost half do not
routinely save for retirement.
However, the survey, released last month, did not indicate the age,
race or occupation of the respondents.
It also did not define what 'secret' means. Which suggests that the
number of quiet hoarders in Singapore could be higher because 13 of
the 20 Singaporean women interviewed by The Sunday Times gave
different takes on the word.
Some do not tell their husbands at all, some tell, but will not
reveal the precise value or amount of the assets while others will
'act blur' when asked.
Aged between 25 and 35, they all have full-time jobs and can
support themselves financially.
Administrative executive Hamizah, 31, who spoke on condition of
anonymity, said she did not let her husband know how much year-end
bonus she received so that she can pamper herself with treats
without being nagged by him.
Are these secret savings an act of bad faith? Or are women merely
pragmatic in protecting themselves?
Bank executive Angeline Lee, 26, who will marry her long-time
boyfriend next year, was swift in her retort: 'Why not? My mother
has always told me to keep money for myself for protection and not
to let the man know.'
She added, betraying a fatalistic attitude often seen in Asia: 'You
never know if your husband will walk out on you. Anyway, he
probably has funds that he's not telling me about.'
Mr Aldrin Thomas, 30, a teacher, finds the attitude dreadful.
'Wives won't like it if their husbands do the same. At the very
least, the hubby must know about it. He does not have to control
it.'
A 34-year-old office manager said she had to keep her finances
secret because her husband habitually stole from her. For obvious
reasons, she asked not to be named.
However, wives like teacher Celine Tan, 26, believe in full
disclosure. She said: 'The most important thing in a marriage is
trust. There should be no secret between husband and wife.'
Legal secretary Yang Yuxin, 28, agrees. Her husband has access to
her personal savings account.
Synovate's survey found that four in five Singapore women have
their own savings accounts, two in three have insurance policies,
half have jewellery while one in four have mutual funds, shares or
bonds.
Counsellors warn against hiding money because when a spouse
stumbles on a large stash, it could undermine the trust in the
marriage.
Ms Teo Seok Bee, programme manager at Touch Community Services,
which runs marriage courses, said couples are taught the different
options of financial arrangements. 'We always encourage
transparency and trust in all aspects of a couple's life, including
finances,' she added.
But old habits die hard. Said a 29-year-old public relations
executive, who wanted to be known only as Mei: 'It boils down to
trust. For me, if my husband asks, I'll act blur. I'm just not
comfortable discussing my money, even with him.' She has been
married for eight months.
