Keep thinkin about ex after opening heart to someone else

last SG · 2012-12-11T22:02:52+00:00

I see that it is nothing wrong about reminiscing the past you had when you go over certain places or event you once had with Dan.. Memories just like which s...

becalm SG

But it is not right to keep such thoughts to yourself.. Share more often.. And it will fades off much easily..

I can't agree more. It's sort of my problem but to be honest, it's better said than done.

[imdestinyz] SG

It Is actually not difficult sharing problems... Make it a habit and life will be better!

Neural bugs? You were sick arh?

becalm SG

It Is actually not difficult sharing problems... Make it a habit and life will be better!

Neural bugs? You were sick arh?

It's difficult mate!!! I'm more of a listenner haha.

Nope, I wasn't sick. I was talking about the bugs that have been eating my brain. My brain now has the shape of a questionmark lol

[imdestinyz] SG

It's difficult mate!!! I'm more of a listenner haha.

Nope, I wasn't sick. I was talking about the bugs that have been eating my brain. My brain now has the shape of a questionmark lol

the bugs are eating ur brain? that may cause you be epileptic! hahaha!!!

Oh well anyway, it should not be difficult larh... you just needed a first step to start sharing and things should come fairly easy and comfortable. Being to much of a listenner surpresses your emotion which would not be good. Did happen to me before so preferably it does not happen to you.

becalm SG

the bugs are eating ur brain? that may cause you be epileptic! hahaha!!!

Ah hah! What about having my brain eaten and then talk to myself in a mirror so I can be both listener and talker at the same time? Sound scary huh? jk

Thank you but I have some ways to release stress without having to talk too much :)

[imdestinyz] SG

relieving stress and relieving emotions are different arh... but i believe you can handle larh... probably it is the bugs that are harder to handle?

becalm SG

I talked to Jim...the best way I could. His responses weren't positive and then he asked if we could stop seeing each other for a while so that he will have time to think, of course I expected this so I was fine. But idk, Jim has a big ego that makes it harder for us to communicate sometimes. Oh men, they always blame us women for being complicated creatures, I wonder if any of you guys are actually aware that you guys are pretty complicated too? Sigh!!!!!

[imdestinyz] SG

It is probably his ego that's making the whole issue seem complicated to you.. If fact the explanation for his actions are rather easy mah

becalm SG

I understood his reaction. I was prepared. But still, he is hard to understand sometimes.

Today he texted me morning and lunch time asking me what im doing and nice day stuff as usual, then evening, he texted "is there anything you still keep to yourself?". It meant he doesn't trust me completely, right?

[imdestinyz] SG

I understood his reaction. I was prepared. But still, he is hard to understand sometimes.

i do not think of it as that he isn't trusting you completely. It depends alot on how you've told him about your issue. I think he is trying to come to terms with what you've told him and also trying to come to a decision. Instead of seeing it as him not trusting u completely, i see it as him seeking confirmation. He has to make a decision based on what he thinks and what you've told him, that sentence is more like just to check if you missed out on anything that you think you need to tell him. Haven't we all came across situations where we are about to make a decision then suddenly someone told us "some additional information" or "something new" that changed our decision making?

Good luck to you anyway! Understanding man is just as hard as man trying to understand women yea?

becalm SG

I'm taking time to think too. Don't want to give him any pressure. Should I ask him not to contact each other for a little while? It'll be better if I have some "me" time and perhaps for him too.

jojobeach SG

What is it you are trying so hard to understand about Jim ? His big ego ? This has NOTHING to do with a man's ego. It's all about you being a self-absorbed, emotionally insecure woman.

And of cors he shouldn't trust you, you are coming across as a very FLAKY person.

Seriously, you weren't even honest with him from the beginning. You were never emotionally available since your ex. Now he is doubting your sincerity. Can you blame him ? no.

He should be asking himself if you are stringing him along for the ride. In fact, it seems you are using him to inflate your beat up ego. ( Yes women hav egos too, and ours can be much BIGGER than a male ego ). That's why many women need constant validation from men. ( mirror mirror on the wall)

Your ego wants him to come chasing your skirt even after you told him you werent ready.. you still think about an ex... you are not sure.. you need space.. you need to find your feelings etc etc...all the lame excuses for you to just enjoy the cake and not have to bake it... yes ?

If that guy has some self- respect.. he'd just dump you and seek fishes elsewhere.

Sure, you think that after what you've told him.. and if he still comes after you anyway.. he must REALLY wants to be with you right ? Right..feels good isn't it ?

you must think you are THAT worth it. ( self-absorbed)

..actually it just means he has low self-esteem. There.. that's probably the reason why you keep ending up with men who are too ego maniac to love you back.

jojobeach SG

I'm taking time to think too. Don't want to give him any pressure. Should I ask him not to contact each other for a little while? It'll be better if I have some "me" time and perhaps for him too.

You giving him pressure ?.. LOL.. girl you have no idea what you are gonna lose.

When the next chick becomes available to him, you'd be history. Maybe he wouldn't even remember your name few years from now... when he is enjoying relationship bliss with another woman.

Sure, take your "me" time.. and take it SLOOOooowww.... after all.. there's only one woman on the planet and thats you.

Mid9Sun SG

People do tend to dwell in the past and forget to live for future. Learn to let go and life will be so much easier.

All the best to TS in whatever decision you take.

becalm SG

What is it you are trying so hard to understand about Jim ? His big ego ? This has NOTHING to do with a man's ego. It's all about you being a self-absorbed, emotionally insecure woman.

And of cors he shouldn't trust you, you are coming across as a very FLAKY person.

Seriously, you weren't even honest with him from the beginning. You were never emotionally available since your ex. Now he is doubting your sincerity. Can you blame him ? no.

If that guy has some self- respect.. he'd just dump you and seek fishes elsewhere.

Sure, you think that after what you've told him.. and if he still comes after you anyway.. he must REALLY wants to be with you right ? Right..feels good isn't it ?

you must think you are THAT worth it. ( self-absorbed)

..actually it just means he has low self-esteem. There.. that's probably the reason why you keep ending up with men who are too ego maniac to love you back.

LOL, did you even read my post properly? I never agreed to go out on dates with him my girl. I like him but I know what my problem so I've hesitated. We are not even close enough for me to tell him about my ex but it's because I wanted him to know why I rejected him so many times ok? so what was that u talking about honesty, sincerity and ego? Don't judge too soon girl.

I'm not going to give a long list to tell you how big his ego is because at the end of the day, it's me liking him regardless of what I see in him anyway. The incident with him that similarly happened between me and my ex before like I mentioned in the post was when he proved his oversized ego big time. But I did compromise. Now I am just trying to figure out how to handle things since it's me who'd bend backward and compromise but he never, anytime we had some problems.

becalm SG

People do tend to dwell in the past and forget to live for future. Learn to let go and life will be so much easier.

All the best to TS in whatever decision you take.

yes I know but there is reason people say it's better said than done.

Thank you for the wishes :)

jojobeach SG

Let me summarise ok... so you still not ready for new relationship.

You met this guy , you kinda like him... then you don't like him because he got ego issue.

Then you bend over backwards for him and you compromise etc etc.. and you still havn't go out on a date with Jim.

OK.. then here comes the real motive... You need to know HOW to reject Jim without hurting him. This should be your SuBject on this thread. Next time just go straight to the POINT.

Well, here's the problem . Unless you are an excellent LIAR.. it's not likely you can accomplish NOT hurting his feelings when you reject him. EVERY REJECTION is HURTFUL... get immune to that idea.

Rule number 1 : MEN are NOT stupid.

Rule number 2 : They are NOT as dumb as you credit them for.

If you truly not want to hurt his feelings.. there is only ONE method of rejection.

CLAIM YOU ARE A LESBIAN. This is the only ONE rejection men cannot argue with you about. Nor can they try to persuade you out of.

Otherwise, you really need to get over this " I don't want him, but I don't wanna hurt him " bull crap. cus we've all been down this road before... the road leads to NOwhere.

Just be honest and tell him you are unavailable.. and CUT OFF. Stop pretending you worry about his feelings.. because you really don't give a shit deep inside.

He will first go through a withdrawal , or he will find himself another chick. Life is that simple for a guy.

Unless you plan to wear a nanny underwear on the outside everyday.. it's likely you will need to reject MANY more advances until the day you get married.. then it will be your husband's turn to reject other women.

becalm SG

CLAIM YOU ARE A LESBIAN. This is the only ONE rejection men cannot argue with you about. Nor can they try to persuade you out of.

U sure? This, can be the most hurtful rejection.

becalm SG

Rule number 1 : MEN are NOT stupid.

Rule number 2 : They are NOT as dumb as you credit them for.

OK, retort: some are. Don't tell me u never had that thought in mind.

becalm SG

OK. I'll stop pretending and going to be real by giving some sh**.

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