If it has something to do with his career
and strictly not a third party, your position is still somewhat
slightly better. However, I do find it contradicting when he said
(in your earlier post) that he is afraid of 'falling in love with
other girls', which seemed to me that this is somehow inconsistent
with his stance of wanting to be career-focus. If that was his
reasoning, then he shouldn't be worried about falling for other
girls, much more than worried about not advancing fast enough for
his career.
There are a number of possible hypothesis; which is why I say it
really depends on what is going on behind screen.
For example, a man could find growing affection towards another
woman but he might not technically be 'having an affair'
because nothing is cast into stone. In this case, he is right that
there is no third party because nothing has happened. But the
circumstances probably made him realized something about
the relationship, which has caused major quakes. In that
case, career-focus might not be the reason; it also served as
a convenient distraction from the real problem, almost like a form
of escapism.
Truly, there are several tracks to this. However, what kind of
decision you make depends on how much information you have on hand.
The good thing about having more information is that you would
discover discrepancy by comparing notes. Out of curiosity, I have a
few critical questions:
I) If he doesn't love you from the start, what kept him going on
for so many years? Brutely speaking, if he is waiting for the right
opportunity to leap to someone else better?
II) Are you giving him any form of pressure or obstacle when it
comes to his career? If he could cope with having you and his
career previously, what made the change?
III) Does he mean that if he wants to focus on his career, he
doesn't need or want any relationship? Or does he not want you
only? But he is fine if someone else comes along? 
Cheers
C'mon lah Yun, don't you see ? That man wants the best of both
worlds.
He wants the cake AND eat it too. Career is a lame excuse...
many of my friends have a family AND advance their career
overseas....
But at least he is upfront and honest about it. At least he has
some guilty conscience.
Most married men will just go there.. have an affair , start a
new family BEHIND the wife's back. When the wife finds out.. she
files for divorce... if she don't... the men continues what he
does. until he get caught. ... or until the China mistress calls up
the Singaporean wife and tell her to fark off.
If he can't find a replacement.. he comes home to a wife waiting
for him in their co-owned house..life goes on... and he goes back
to China to have flings.
If he can find a replacement.. he divorce his wife.. sell the
house... and bring the new wife into Singapore. Worst yet... boot
the old wife out of that marital home.. and let new wife move
in.
No China wife wants to live in China if she has a Singaporean
husband or from any other country.
Starting a family in China means.. they have to play by China's
rule.. ONE CHILD POLICY and whatever restrictions imposed on China
citizens.
Their foreign policy sucks..and it's almost impossible for China
people to leave their country without an exit VISA. The singaporean
husband is a TICKET out of theirdraconian rule.
So eventually... the China wife will want to come to live in
Singapore. If TS husband is still married to TS... he cannot get
his new China wife a spouse visa.
The ending is the same... he will have to divorce her ... now or
later.
Sure.. keep the hope up .. maybe he CAN'T find a replacement..
but the chances is very very slim.....the husband is already
looking and salivating over the potential and possibilities of his
China adventures.
TS is just his spare tire.. just in case things don't work out
for him in China... TS is the fall back wife...
Just face the reality and move on... it'll be better for
everyone. 8 years only... some people spent 10-15 years of their
life and still separate.
