Actually we have know each other for 1 yr (we work under the
same project) and together for 6mths. I can't say we don't
totally understand each other just not that deep enough. He
proposed to me that we would tie the knot on next year which make
up to be our 1 yr courtship and i agreed. We even booked our
honeymood and bridal pkg. But suddenly everything changes so fast..
i am lost. During the phase of preparation he seems to be
very happy and enjoying the process. I don't understand.
(As well on last month my mother was hospitalise due to an
car accident and was semi paralyze - likely to recover after
theraphy) I was quite stress out and perhaps shown my flaw
side of stubborn and impatient side of me and he couldn't take
that.
I do not mind going thru the patience to wait for him to
gradually move up to maturity in love. But i need to know how to
deal with him. He is acting like normal nothing happen
infront of everyone. I am hurt this way. the surrounding knew
what is happening. Everyone of his friend told me he is
stubborn and he will think through and come back. But i am
not sure if he will.
How can i help him to come back ? And yet doesn't give him
the stress that i am wanting him back. Coz he told me straight on
my face during broke off, he doesn't want me to wait and he might
not come back. He felt our characters are too stubborn and to
be together will be v tired. But i think he doesn't know to
be together we need to compromise, having the inconvenience of
needing to communicate etc... He mentioned he still love me very
much, infact he tears .. sigh...
Our expectation of
wanting to settle down is a greater good ideal that most people
generally desire; unfortunately, the pace of love works
independently of whether we think when it is 'rationally' good to
settle down from a logical perspective. Biologically, he has
slightly passed the norm age of intimacy (where relationship
concerns form a significant consideration aspect of that lifespan),
hence, he would naturally have to 'make up' the 'lost lessons' he
failed to gain adequate mastery in his past experience, which
broadly includes what I termed in my book as the Four Elements of
Relationship: mutual lifestyle, communication, financial/security
management and emotional connection.
In the world of our emotional mind, it is highly complex and
sometimes, it does not corroborate with our flow of logic. I can
see that it can be very disheartening, confusing and discouraging
to witness how he claims to still love you, but acts in a direct
opposite way.
Our definition of love first sparks the direction of how we view
love in our perceived world. The tiles that built upon this
definition is constantly adjusted by our experience and interaction
with our partners, discarding what was not helpful and keeping
those that allows harmony and equilibrium. Problem lies when we
choose to keep too many of the tiles we see as our individual
nature and refusing to budge. The truth is that we only
need to keep the main ones that openly define who we
are - the immutable ones. The 'many others'
actually allows room for negotiation - if that is what he/you
wants.
For example, he claims that both of you are 'stubborn'. Is that
an individual nature that strictly defines who you both are in a
positive way? Like I am a stubborn person and I want to keep that?
Probably not. Then it is probably something that is negotiable and
open for evolvement.
Hence, the million dollar questions: mutually, do the both of
you willing to work on it to keep the relationship or choose to
discard it away just because of something that is open for
negotiation?
P.S: Like I said in my previous post, it can be very trying to
love someone who has not gain adequate mastery of love relationship
in his/her earlier years. They have been fed with years of
individualism - where they are so used in managing themselves, the
freedom and all that verses the prospect of now having to
compromise that space with someone else.
Is he humble enough to accept the cosmic lessons of love? Or is
the 'I' more important than 'We'? 
Cheers
