expat feeling lonely and bored

last SG · 2011-09-06T15:20:18+00:00

Taiwan is not a 3rd world society, it is actually more advance than singapore, but not as aggressive as your govt, who care for $$ economy more than social i...

sadpanda SG

Hello,

I recently moved here from London about four months ago with my husband (we are newly married young couple) who has a job here.

I guess it is normal to feel lonely and out of place in a foreign country and it doesnt help that I dont have a job at the moment and miss my friends. I do get out the house but feel very conspicious and out of place ( I get stared at a lot) and really feel lonely and miss home. I have suffered from depression in the past and I find it easier to stay inside rather than get out and meet people. I miss my friends and having someone to talk to.

But I do already feel better now after writing this and getting how I feel out there. Maybe it will get easier- who knows?

Bye for now,

sadpanda

Hwaimeng SG

sadpanda

there a lot of country club in singapore where you can meet yr countryman.

if you are from london, i think there a british country club in orchard road area.

Loor SG

You're in a different country - things are going to be different. It's an obvious point, but one that is important to be remembered.

Sgp is very easy to adapt to and has plenty of facilities that are similar to those in other countries. Perhaps frequent the slightly more touristy/expat places to ease into the country before branching out and finding your feet. Plenty of other expats around too.

Lobotomy SG

I feel the same way too. As a chinese, I also do a lot of work traveling to Vietnam, Cambodia and China. At times, I have a lot of trouble communicating with the locals in Vietnam and Cambodia. Not a lot of people there speak English or Chinese. There is also miscommunication, sometimes they think I say this or I think i meant that but they actually meant something else. For me, I get over my boredom by going to pubs, karoekes and restaurants frequented by singaporean, malaysian expats and locals who speak english. Sometimes I go to the pub or restaurant and I overhear some people in the next table speaking chinese in a very familiar accent (not PRC accent), I go and strike a conversation.

Even going to the wet markets there, I get conned because they know I am foreigner and they give me a higher rate. So I have no choice but to go to an air-coned supermarket 5km away to shop for food.

However, you should know that Singapore is one of the most metropolitan countries in the world. You are so lucky because majority of singaporeans can converse in english. The supermarkets here are fantastic and there are lots of churches.

JerryJan SG

there is a charity club run by a english lady

maybe u can join them to feel better after helping less previleges

RemifanSo SG

Hello,

I recently moved here from London about four months ago with my husband (we are newly married young couple) who has a job here.

But I do already feel better now after writing this and getting how I feel out there. Maybe it will get easier- who knows?

Bye for now,

sadpanda

Welcome! There is an online expat in Singapore forum you can go to to talk to other expats about the problems you are facing.

That would be a more ideal forum to help resolve your problems now.

Loor SG

seek out others with similar sisues and it can help, but don't get caught up trying to do the same as you do back home all the time.

Familiarities are comfortable and great, but if you're not willing to be flexible and try to integrate by mixing with locals and learning to accept the differences, the your 'home-sickness' will not go away for a looong time.

angel7030 SG

Homesick ar?? then go home lor, many singaporeans will be happy to send you back. Why dun u just join the Swiss club, i use to be there, many brits there.

lce SG

what is your race?

angel7030 SG

F1 or safra race?

sadpanda SG

Thanks for the replies (well some of them anyway.

I already do volunteer work and have met some great singporeans who have been very welcoming. I have to say I am somewhat surprised and a bit dissapointed by the reply of angel7030. I thought this was supposed to be an Aunt Agony topic so I have come here for advice and support and find instead a particularly unhelpful and unthoughtful reply. It would be easy to go to somewhere with expats (singapore is full of them) and to an expat webiste but I am interested to get singaporean friends and become more involved in singaporean life (as Loor advises).

Coming from a multicultural country I am not hung up about race - back home I have many friends of different races- and was hoping to make some here too.

Thanks

Sadpanda x

Rock^Star SG

Well, me an expat in a foreign country too. You've just got to let loose and step out of your comfort zone. Being stared at is normal since you're white? I mean the same would happen to a person of different colour anywhere else. So that one we cannot stop but what we can do is to make more friends, hang out with fellow europeans or englishwomen in Singapore. You will meet a lot of them but after some time, you will realise who's closer and who's not.

Lastly, don't be afraid to approach singaporeans on anything, anywhere. All that courage has got to start somewhere. Expats cannot do without social support overseas. Friends become the "family".

mancha SG

Welcome to SGForums.

Brouse through the other forums and topics here and you find all sorts. I'll leave you to find out for yourself what all sorts means.

If you are feeling mean, by all means, give as good as you get. Or just ignore them and don't get into a fight.

Join in the fun, of sgF,and give us your 2 cents worth.

Darkness_hacker99 SG

Thanks for the replies (well some of them anyway.

Coming from a multicultural country I am not hung up about race - back home I have many friends of different races- and was hoping to make some here too.

Thanks

Sadpanda x

angel is the antagonist in this forum. please do not get offended by 'his/her' remark. thank you

JerryJan SG

I also want to do volunteer work kindly PM me the contact

Thanks

Lobotomy SG

Lastly, don't be afraid to approach singaporeans on anything, anywhere. All that courage has got to start somewhere. Expats cannot do without social support overseas. Friends become the "family".

Being stared at? don't worry, singaporeans are one of the most civil and well behaved people in Asia. That is not counting the politics and back-biting in the office.

I go to some underdeveloped countries in Asia, the people in the streets would come to harass me. The beggars, kids, old people, handicap all come and harass me for money. Even the tuk tuk, taxi driver, motorcyclist harass me when i come out from my hotel, hoping to give me a lift and make some money.

JerryJan SG

Being stared at? don't worry, singaporeans are one of the most civil and well behaved people in Asia. That is not counting the politics and back-biting in the office.

u wear coat & tie meh

angel7030 SG

Thanks for the replies (well some of them anyway.

Coming from a multicultural country I am not hung up about race - back home I have many friends of different races- and was hoping to make some here too.

Thanks

Sadpanda x

Well, if you are homesick, it is good that you go home to where you belong, it helps you more than being in here and trying your best to do the best to suit into such enivorment, just like me, if I miss my taiwan, I will go home for a while, then come back again.

And as singapore are trying to reduce foreigners here, they will certainly be glad that you go back to your homeland, you happy, they also happy ya. So, why make thing so difficult, nothing is better than home ya

Rock^Star SG

The "he/she" or "it" has struck.

Rock^Star SG

Being stared at? don't worry, singaporeans are one of the most civil and well behaved people in Asia. That is not counting the politics and back-biting in the office.

Singaporeans civil?