As a teenager during my secondary school days.. 1994, my
classmates ganged up to bully me. I was the only person in my class
from my primary school, I had no friends whatsoever. During the
second week, the bullying began. It was not physical, but
psychological.
As we were going through puberty then, I was very sensitive
already because I do not know what it meant when I had my first
strand of pubic hair before entering Sec 1. Then my
classmates started calling each other funny names, for me, they
called me "Erector". i WAS VERY HURT, because when I asked around
what the word meant, a female classmate told me it meant I had a
big dick. I thought it was something shameful and disparaging, I
did not know until NS that it was actually a compliment.
But still, for the 3-4 years, I lived through sec school with
that horrible nickname, and I had lots of problems coping with
studies because of my classmates who would joke about my nickname,
and shout loud at me across the corridor this name.
Many years have passed, this year I am 29, and I still have
phobia getting a girlfriend because I do not understand the giggles
of some girl classmates and the nonchalance and ambivalance of
other girl classmates back then... almost 15 years ago. Did they
really believe what my male classmates teased me about? Will the
name prevent me from having a girlfriend in future? A lot of
uncertainty followed through me over the years. I had erection
problems too, though in no uncertain fashion.
I was most amused, when only in Jan 2011 that is two months ago,
I went to visit a professional counsellor who, also a male few
years older than me, I confided my history in. He did not urge me
to see a psychiatrist, to him, it was a bad episode, but still,
life goes on, and I am strong enough to do it.
Well, since we have identified the problem, let's deal with it.
We could work together.
I would not like to reveal this to you, but the bloke who
started this nickname for me almost 15 years ago, is now working at
a gay pub, the last I heard, and he wears makeup and lipstick to
work.
Perhaps I will leave this post as it is, here, and let it be
said that I mean no malice towards my classmates.. I just see
myself and everybody as victims of .. I dunno what. Growing pains?
Peer pressure?
Biting the bullet sure sounds good, but if I have a fond piece
of advice like today, find somebody to talk to. I was sure happy I
talked to somebody two months ago, although nobody can untie our
emotional problems other than myself.
Hmm....
So your problem is not having enough courage to get a
girlfriend?
Do not worry unclerexy, nicknames for your age are no big deal
anymore, they may even be considered as childish
especially...judging from the name you had. Furthermore, it is
already so looong ago.
I wouldnt not befriend someone just because his nickname is "
Erector " or any variation of it.
Ultimately it is the person's character which count.
Gather your courage, let bygones be bygones, time to start
getting your girlfriend!
Good Luck :).