My name is Dawn, I am 18 this
year.
My boyfriend and I have
been dating for close to 3 years. There is a problem that has been
bugging us for quite some time, he is still very angry about the
incident but I have no idea how to appease him.
The problem started when
I was doing a long school project that lasted 6months and I had
problems leading my team. Everyone in the team waits for me to tell
them what to do before they do anything at all. The project was
nearing the end; we were left with only a presentation to prepare.
I was getting tired of the project. I plan, I do, I oversee. I was
at my limits. My bf offered to help me with my power point slides,
I accepted.
He came over; my group
was already at my place. I asked me how he would like this to
happen. He told me to do my thing, he will wait. My teammates did
not finish tidying the required content like what I told them to
before the meeting. I told my bf about the situation, he said he
will wait. They spent 1hr+ tidying work and asking me what's in
what's out. I was very anxious, I did not wanted to make him wait.
I wanted to quickly collate the work and pass to my guy. I was
stressed up; I had to look at all 4 of my mates progress.
I was talking to my group
mate when he interrupted and asked something, i told him to wait. I
was very impatient and loud when i said that. He went quiet. When i
was done with the work at hand and asked him what's the matter, he
just said we ll talk about it later. After my group mates left, I
asked him again.
He demanded an
explanation for yelling at him. I defended myself, by telling him
the reason. I was really busy and stress and I just snapped at him
but I didn’t mean it. He asked why didn’t I apologize at once, I
told him his tone felt like he was attacking me so I reacted to
defend myself and I apologized.
He wasn’t fine with that.
He started saying how ungrateful to him. He said he offered his
help and had to be treated this way. He said I wasn’t sorry at all.
I felt it was pointless explaining to him and I went to my home. He
let the matter slide that day.
But, he brings back the
incident every now and then and we will argue at night. I feel
tired. We argue all night but there is no end to it; I cannot
concentrate in school everything after our argument at night. He
raised the problem again last night. I told him I don’t understand
what's wrong. It’s been 4/5 months and he still not letting the
matter go. I am so sick of quarreling.
He said he felt like a
fool that day. He felt embarrassed. He felt that I had no right to
yell at him when he offered his help. No right to defend. No right
to walk out of the conversation that day. He felt that I didn’t
treat him as a equal when I yelled at him. He felt that I didn’t
care for him because i did not do anything to resolve this. I told
him I didn’t apologized at once because he attacked me and my first
reaction was to explain myself. He thinks that's bullshyt. And he
felt that I am not giving enough in the relationship.
I admit I shouldn’t have
yelled at him, but I did explain myself. I did apologized when I
knew what was bothering him. He told me I never tried to do
anything to resolve this that’s why it keeps coming back. WHAT
should I do? He asked if I really love him. He asked what’s love to
me. He asked if i cared for him. He asked if he made a mistake in
loving me. He asked if I am perhaps too young for relationship. I
am so tired and hurt every time we quarrel. His tone, his words. It
hurts. I don’t know what to do. He kept asking HOW now? But I have
no answer for him.
Please help me. Help me
save our relationship before it ends. I am so scared. Before he
feels too tired. Before he decide to give up. Before he think its
not worth it.
Dawn.
