How to appease boyfriend

last SG · 2011-02-28T21:20:38+00:00

ya, but just dun try to meet up at high rise building, the fall can be real bad

Nelstar SG

In the end, are you more important than his pride?

Did he understand you and you understand him?

If someone treated you wrongly, it does not justify wrong treatment as retribution. It is just a showcase of who has bigger ego and is more mean.

Appeasing him does not means that you "justified" him for paying retribution. It does not mean if you are wrong, he needs to exact "payback" and revenge. If you are in kindergarten, maybe, reprisal makes you feel better. But making someone you love hurt seemed more like a sadistic relationship and it will eventually create a rift.

If you think you should let him run over you again and again further just because you bruised his ego once, be prepared for this to continue in the relationship.

There is a fine line between temper and tantrum. He's throwing tantrums for your temper. Yes, you did wrong, but he did much worse. He can feel bad, he can feel upset about what happened, but he's not giving you chance to make up, then it will be a recurring habit where he use it as an excuse for whatever rubbish he can dish at you.

He will trample you because of 1 mistake, he will do it again and again.

You should give him the cold shoulder rather than appease him.

Think about it.

JerryJan SG

alamak we husband & wife for 22 yrs everyday yell at each other

if like yr case he so petty, we long time divorce le

ShrodingersCat SG

Thank you all for taking time off to reply my post.

I need help. I dont understand. What does he want out of it when he brings the matter up again?

-mancha: I understand that I have hurted him. Simply, hearing him out and saying sorry isnt going to help. He asked how are we going to solve this. He doesnt believe in the "let time heal all", he wants a solution. But what's that? He wants to feel like he is appeciated? What should I do?

We didnt do anything after what happen. I just made my group pass me what they had and ended the session. My groupmate shook his hand and thanked him for coming b4 they left.

- TTFU and littlemissbonkers: No matter what. I believe that he has a reason to be mad since I did raise my voice at him. Call me stubborn, stupid. But, I wish for it to work.

-strodingerscat: If I have read and understand your intend message correctly. I wish u were here to hear how he questioned me. It wasnt like a casal u know, u hurted my feelings when u...

He was very agressive with his tone and choice of words. I d like to see how u wld handled it, if u feel that defending myself was wrong and made my apology seem insincere.

Thankyou.

The thing is... Right now, both of you seem to be justifying your actions by saying the other caused it first.

That isn't being sorry for what YOU did.

You can't apologise for what he did, that onus is on him. And you can never force a sincere apology out of him by trying to say it is his fault for making you shout at him.Two wrongs just... make two wrongs. It doesn't make a wrong a right.

So, just say sorry for what you did sincerely - which is for shouting at him in front of your friends, and not appreciating him despite him waiting for such a long time just to help you. That's all.

Saying sorry without buts is a super difficult skill to learn - but since your post was about how to salvage the relationship - then I suggest it is something both of you CAN start learning. I don't mean this in a patronising way - I am saying this cos it is something I have learnt through my own relationships and is still learning.

Nelstar SG

alamak we husband & wife for 22 yrs everyday yell at each other

if like yr case he so petty, we long time divorce le

everyday yell... you all in army camp?

i not even 10 yrs also not everyday yell....

Dawn510 SG

First of all, I have to say it's heart warming to see the number of people that are concerned. And once again I thank you all posting your views.

I had told him that I am sick of quarreling before. Letting nature take its course will not work, it will just come back to haunt us wont it?

Here's whats happening now:

We havent talked since the last time.

I miss him. I wonder how's he doing. But I dont dare to call.
We merely texted, and the content goes like this:

Last night
Him: U really got nothing to say?
Me: I do have something to say. I do not wish to do it b4 your test. What time do you end (i meant school) tml?

He didnt reply. I wished him luck for his test tml.

Today morning

He asked me if I was in sch and what time do I end, he was done with his exam.
I asked him are we going to talk about it face to face today. He said he's tired. He asked what was it that I wanted to tell him. I told him I dont want to do it over the phone. I asked shall we get a day to resolve this? He said anything. He said he dont know what to say. I asked hows tml then? He said he cnt. We ended the msg as I left to take my test after he finish me luck.

Just like that. I find it painful. How is it possible that we can be so lovey afew days ago and then be so cold now?

mancha SG

Forget about appeasement, this is the up and downs in a relationship.

Just ride it out.

If he carries on like a Java programme loop, tick him off again. You must be able to do that.

Else..

jojobeach SG

Here's whats happening now:

We havent talked since the last time.

I miss him. I wonder how's he doing. But I dont dare to call.
We merely texted, and the content goes like this:

Today morning

Tsk tsk.. the games children play.

He wants to torment you.. but he cannot tahan the mystery... lol !

Dawn, drop this childish brat..

You will meet other guys who are more mature than your current boyfriend...when you do.. you'd be laughing at yourself for even crying about him before...

Nelstar SG

All you need to do is:

1. Stop messaging him

2. Go out with your friends

If he treasures you, you will see he wakes up his idea.

Most likely not.

Genopooh SG

relationship for 3 years and you're only 18? wow. anyway.. your bf is really behaving like a wuss. wait for him to enlist and see the change in him. If he doesn't change for the better, dump him. But for now, do you really see a future with your current bf?? just because you spent 3 years with him doesn't mean the relationship is stable. Imagine him treating you like that everytime you're at fault.. get it???

Julian.khor SG

小气鬼

Tell him to get over it or end it. No point dragging on.

Ask yourself, would you want to stay with such a petty guy for the next 10-20 years? If he cannot let go of such a tiny issue then what makes you think he'll be able to handle bigger ones?

Dump the immature brat and count yourself lucky you found out early.

On the other hand, if you think that you reallyyyyyy looovveeee him and cannot live without him and etc etc. Then maybe you can try groveling and kiss his ass to stroke his fragile little ego.

Wat does Troll granny single n lonely littlemissbonkers know about luv? Luv is like oxygen.

Sounds like somebody has hurt the troll granny littlemissbonkers tis way before. Haha, serve the troll bonkers rite. No wonder the troll littlebonkers get so angry at the IMH computer n start screaming like a mad granny.

I advice TS to hang on yer hot tempered n bring out past event boyfren, if ya leave em, afterward the monster Grannie, littlemissbonkers will cum out in the darkness of the nite screaming "precious cock" n cum n rape em.

Asromanista2001 SG

nothing a blowjob in the morning......................

and anal sex in the evening can't solve..................

JerryJan SG

everyday yell... you all in army camp?

i not even 10 yrs also not everyday yell....

if nvr yell he can't hear

take it as part & parcel of life

Nelstar SG

if nvr yell he can't hear

take it as part & parcel of life

Interesting life...

ChoCoChips SG

knn diam la.

lj oxygen thief.

Yach SG

What Nelstar said.

Hes probably trying to find a reason to dump you, if he keeps bringing up the same small matter despite months :(

angel7030 SG

If you need to appease your bf, this show that you are mostly a ugly woman with no confident and small chest...airport.

Julian.khor SG

Haha, got one similanjiao, say he knows littlemissbonkers got lan jiao and littlemissbonkers use oxygen tank like M.J to booast the lan jiao performance. Wakakakakaka...wonder how the ccb know? He must have been raped by littlemissbonkers, and now become very sub-servient and obedient because of his vulnerable state and his virginity stolen by the monster troll littlemissbonkers.

TTFU SG

I dont see why he should take this so hard when you have apologised. Unless there are other reasons etc you have been mis-treating him or un-sincere. I doubt so. If he is so xiao qi over small matters, next time how ? are you gonna quarrel everyday ? Is this the BF you want ? Are you gonna be happy ?

angel7030 SG

As a girl, never led a guy pull you by the nose, later married, you may suffer, even he flirt around, you also cannot say anything. You must take control, so what if he dun like, outside got one bus load of guys waiting. Show some girl colors for our girl sake lah

lonestar86 SG

i think u shld just break up with him. he is not worth it.

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