Hi, I am a 17 year-old teenager. I'm currently still studying in
a local polytechnic. Just recently, my mum discovered that my dad's
having an affair. To double confirm it, I went to check his mobile
phone and found solid evidence of it, hundreds of disgusting smses
between him and the whore. Right noiw, I'm probably in my worst
period of my life, just when everything is going smoothly for me,
this incident happened.
My dad still doesn't know about it, "we finding out about him
having an affair". Right now, my brother, my mum and I are in a
dilemna on what to do. Since the third-party whom my dad is having
an affair is his worker, if the worker is sacked, will my dad still
carry on with the relationship?
And? Is it legal for me to threaten the third-party to leave my
dad alone? If she doesn't wants to leave, is it legal for me to
force her to leave using violent means?
Thank you for taking the time to read and helping me out.
Violence does not solve any problems. It will only serve to worsen
the situation. It isn't legal for you to force her to leave using
violent means no matter what's your cause.
Your mum has to confront your dad regarding this issue. That's
the only way to solve the problem. A direct confrontation. She has
to face the problem head on. One important point to take note here
though. Do not make it a heated one.
Things may inevitably get heated when your mum raises this issue
with your dad. However, she should try to keep the situation as
calm and controlled as possible. Hurtful words which are not
helpful to the current situation would only get hurled about
if the situation turns ugly.
How did your mum get to know about his affair?
How old are your other siblings?
And yes, a marriage counsellor would help. But that is only
after your mum has confronted your dad regarding the issue.
Before everything, it would help if your mum reflcts on what has
been going on in their marriage all these years. What were the
problems that your parents had faced?
What's the cause for his extramarital affair? Is it a fault on
your mum's side?
I'm not trying to say that your mum is the cause for the affair
and that your dad is blameless. But rather trying to find out the
causes that gradually pushed or did not push your dad towards
having an affair.
The party having the affair is forever at fault. Even if he or
she isn't the one who intiate it, he or she is still guilty as
charged.
