Ts,
Muse over this and though it appears to be about love - it is
expansive. It is an eg to expand and move inwards.
The question u need to ask yourself is whether there is any
place u can stand in yourself and look at all that's happening
around without freaking out, where u can be quiet enough to hear
your predicament, and can begin to find ways of acting that are at
least not contributing to further destabilization.
The centre and the circumference of a circle is one, one who is
centred within oneself responds, one trapped on the
circumference - always , always reacts. Response - the locus of
control is within u, reaction - the locus of control is outer.
This is the predicament of today's so-called love in
...... the parable below is expansive!
One celebrates love or suffers love? The parable of Narcissus:
he had fallen in love with himself. Looking into a silent pool of
water, he fell in love with his own reflection.
The difference is this: one who loves himself does not love his
reflection, he simply loves himself. No mirror is needed; he knows
himself from inwards. Don’t you know yourself, that you are? Do you
need a proof that you are? Do you need a mirror to prove that you
exist? If there were no mirror, would you become suspicious of your
existence?
Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection - not with
himself. That is not true self-love. He fell in love with the
reflection; the reflection is the other. He had become two, he was
split. Narcissus was split. He was in a kind of schizophrenia. He
had become two - the lover and the loved. He had become his own
object of love - and that’s what happens to so many people who
think they are in love n loving another.
This is narcissism not love. The man becomes the silent pool and
reflects the woman, and the woman becomes the silent pool and
reflects the man; in fact not only reflects the truth, but
decorates it with praises and flattery, in a thousand and one ways
makes it look more and more beautiful. This is what people call
love. This is not love - this is mutual ego-satisfaction. Real love
know nothing of the ego. Real love starts first as self-love.
Naturally, you have this body, this being, you are rooted in it.
And there is no question of pride or ego because you are not
comparing yourself with anybody. Ego comes only with comparison.
Self-love knows no comparison - you are you, that’s all that
matters. You don't say that somebody else is inferior to you; in
fact, u dont compare at all. Whenever comparison comes, know well
it is not love; but a subtle creeping in of the ego. So, whenever
there is comparison, it is egoistic love . It is narcissism.
Whenever there is no comparison, remember, it is love, whether of
oneself or the other. In real love there is no division. Two lovers
melt into each other. In egoistical love there is great split, the
division of the lover and the loved. In real love there is no
relationship. In real love there is no relationship, because there
are not two persons to be related to. In real love there is only
love, a melting, a merging of two. Only in egoistic love are there
two persons, the lover and the loved. And whenever there is the
lover and the loved, love disappears. Whenever there is love, the
lover and the other, both disappear into love.
Love - one who loves out of duty. obligation and responsiblity -
is on an ego trip.
Real love shares and shares what is inner, the rest is
immaterial.
Many marriages suffer cos - it is lack of love
and lack of friendship.
From a conventional perspective - it would seem u are a'
failure', but dont forget - at the end of the day when all is said
and done - u are u , and u are here to be u, not a replica or a
shadow of someone or some fixed ideas that has been imparted to by
so-called do-gooders.
PS - my own experience is this - those who profess , proclaim
love - are not only loving and kind towards their own (eg, spouse,
children ...) but to all and sundry. That is real love, cos he/she
she is so rich on the inside - he/she is able to
share. How to
know if one really loves you? One who
purports to love ... is telling of his/her love for ... when one
can see how this person who proclaims love treats
strangers, animals or ... If he/she is different to others eg,
hostile, unfriendly, rude or self-righteous - that is the real
person. The love that is given to only one is a mutual benefit
scheme - hence the quickness to possess, to own, to make it a
relationship. Behind this facade, fear lurks, the fear of loss -
not of the other but the loss of one being fulfilled thru another's
being .. or doing ....!
Real love gives and whether it comes back or not is unimportant
- when one expects to be rewarded or has expectations - then its a
bargain, beggarly love is a curse, love that is rich - a
benediction.
Lest it is forgotten comparison is utterly self-defeating - it
is disrespecting oneself and it being the case - by habit one is
inclined to compare others - is it not disrespecting others?
