SOCIAL ANXIETY

last SG · 2010-08-06T13:28:11+00:00

never try never knowif u know u going to die tml, would u just go out and have a life or just stay at home and whine and cry and sob and etc etc

DRC SG

since young, i have been feeling this : ppl staring at my every moves. but not when i was born, i guess it started around the age of 4 -6 yr old. maybe ive always felt inferior. .nah i'm allowed to play with anybody just that i was shy. and i was never bullied never an outcast. and im not the only child. uhm why do you ask about my horoscope? it's leo.

regarding the type of friends i prefer.... i think i dont know. i havent really mix around for years. (sigh) it suck.

Thanks LonelyApple, for answering my questions.

My advicing style is abit different from others, I need to understand you in order to find out the real root cause of the hidden fear in you.

After reading you answers I found this.

The key point is this " maybe ive always felt inferior. "

I notice this " feeling inferior " problem keep coming out. It may be your primary cause of your problem.

1) Did any major happen when you are 4 to 6 years, an event, an big embrassing incident.

2) Since you are not the only child can I ask if you got any elder or younger brothers or sisters. This maybe important cos of the inferior fear in you may be cause by them in some cases I have seen.

3) Star Sign Leo are people who are proud and likes to be the center of attraction,

but due to their pride they are certain pit falls. If they do not have anything proud about themselves they prefer to be alone and unhappy in the heart cause others are having the main attraction. This is only the general statement of Leos it may not apply to you.

4) Can you name me a place where you feel very happy about, e.g disneyland.

5) Do you have any cute soft toys that you like to cuddle in bed? will explain why i ask this

6) Do you like any hobbies?

7) If you are in trouble who do you usually turn to? mum, dad, sister, ah ma, dog, cat?

LonelyApple SG

Thanks LonelyApple, for answering my questions.

My advicing style is abit different from others, I need to understand you in order to find out the real root cause of the hidden fear in you.

After reading you answers I found this.

The key point is this " maybe ive always felt inferior. "

I notice this " feeling inferior " problem keep coming out. It may be your primary cause of your problem.

1) Did any major happen when you are 4 to 6 years, an event, an big embrassing incident.

2) Since you are not the only child can I ask if you got any elder or younger brothers or sisters. This maybe important cos of the inferior fear in you may be cause by them in some cases I have seen.

3) Star Sign Leo are people who are proud and likes to be the center of attraction,

4) Can you name me a place where you feel very happy about, e.g disneyland.

5) Do you have any cute soft toys that you like to cuddle in bed? will explain why i ask this

6) Do you like any hobbies?

7) If you are in trouble who do you usually turn to? mum, dad, sister, ah ma, dog, cat?

1) i dont know. i cant rmb many things.

2)cant mention here. (unless u wan me to pm u)

3) the description of a leo describes me really well. i really enjoy being in the centre of the attention. i'm loud at times really. sometimes in class im very responsive. (but it really depends.) my personality is so inconsistent. (i really dunno whether im an extrovert or an introvert or a shy extrovert )

4)uhm happy place? idk. u mean an imaginary one?nv travel much

5)nope.

6)listening to music, singing, movies, talking to people(but havent been doing so), sometimes i like to read(but not everytime), hmmm spending money(but i'm broke), hmmm nth much (i seriously havent been doing much these years)

7)no one. (does virtual friends count? nt like it helps)

LonelyApple SG

Hi LoneyApple,

"o okay, i'll find a psycologist soon:) actually, can u recommend me one? did u see a private or govt one? govt one takes a long time i heard."

I saw the govt psychiatrist, two weeks later , referred through the polyclinic.

I think govt. one is the best, the treatment/consultation is mostly government subsided ,definitely a lot cheaper, like polyclinic rates..(except for certain medications that are not under subsided list), also if you are in financial difficulties , you can approach the social workers under the govt. psychiatrist to waive the bills to tide u over, until u have the ability to pay the future bills..

so you don’t need to worry abt getting temp jobs to pay your bills, ok?

treatment will take some time, maybe months..( years for me..) you have to be patient..

You have to be referred through the polyclinic in order to be govt subsided. Takes a few weeks.(u don’t need to be admitted immediately, only for critical cases, usually through A& E dept), that's why I keep repeating u approach the polyclinic first..

thanks. but i went once the doc referred me but i didnt get any calls. do i have to go back polyclinic again? ok anyway i will do so next week. i cant stand the feeling anymore. it feels like everywhere i go i feel that people judge me despise me. going crazy soon. i'll take action next week mon or tues. thanks for your reply.

i cant wait to see one soon.

Kannonjoe SG

Hi LoneyApple,

“thanks. but i went once the doc referred me but i didnt get any calls. do i have to go back polyclinic again?”

Firstly, when did u visit the polyclinic? Is it more than two weeks already? Did the doctor at the clinic give u any referral letter or documents??

If there is referral letter, check the main number on the letter to call.

If no letter, call the polyclinic to check..

http://www.hospitals.sg/polyclinics#polyclinics-list-address

call the number for your polyclinic tomorrow morning after 8am(some polyclinic mainline are 24hours, try ask the callcentre person immediately), give them your particulars like NRIC, ask about yr referral appointment date, time, venue, to confirm if a appointment has been made.

If they don’t have your records, and recommend u visit the polyclinic again, please do so, to get the referral..

If there is no one who can accompany u and speak for yr behalf to the doctor/psychiatrist, then try writing it down on paper, bring it along so u can read from it or just let the doctor/psychiatrist see so they can understand ( if possible print out from this thread, yr first message and show them).

“ok anyway i will do so next week. i cant stand the feeling anymore. it feels like everywhere i go i feel that people judge me despise me. going crazy soon. i'll take action next week mon or tues. thanks for your reply.

i cant wait to see one soon.”

don’t delay anymore.. asap..

LonelyApple SG

Hi LoneyApple,

“thanks. but i went once the doc referred me but i didnt get any calls. do i have to go back polyclinic again?”

Firstly, when did u visit the polyclinic? Is it more than two weeks already? Did the doctor at the clinic give u any referral letter or documents??

If there is referral letter, check the main number on the letter to call.

If no letter, call the polyclinic to check..

http://www.hospitals.sg/polyclinics#polyclinics-list-address

If they don’t have your records, and recommend u visit the polyclinic again, please do so, to get the referral..

i cant wait to see one soon.”

don’t delay anymore.. asap..

thanks. i just checked the referral letter. they left a number. i'll call tmr. it was probably more than a month that i went to the polyclinic. lol. hope i wont have to go again. .....

hope i can see the psycologist soon.

TooFree SG

Hello Lonelyapple, I will use the Maslow hierarchy of needs as an example. The underlying fundamental of this theory is that the basic level of the pyramid should be satisfied before a normal person like me and you can function-physically . For example, foods and drinks to are essential for substainability. Go out to have a decent meal should be the first step you should take.

To keep it short, your social anxiety problem is not an esteem problem that inflict on you. It actually falls under the love/belonging category. Your strong needs for a social group connections, siblings support or perhaps a boyfriend is crucial before you gain self-confidence and respect from others.

Do seek proper help because I am not a qualified psychologist. Regards.

S.H. SG

Watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA

LonelyApple SG

Watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA

ive seen it before actually. i know he is really amazing.

why is he so positive? how do i clear my negative thoughts. .

S.H. SG

Realize that it doesn't matter. Care less about trivialities. Detach yourself from the mainstream media, because it's a piss-poor representation of life.

Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.

Don't think you're any more inferior than anyone else. We're all just a bunch of technologically-advanced apes living on a rock that's hurtling through space around this massive ball of fire, which is in turn dwarfed by other even more gigantic stars. We haven't even begun to know anything, nor are we capable of taking care of one another.

Look up into the sky at night and realize that it doesn't matter.

=Optimus= SG

Had social anxiety disorder when I was in NS, informed my MO about it, got OOC from BMT, then downgraded from PES A to E9L9, transfered to ASA appointment. Since then it have improved alot... :)

L.lawliett79 SG

TS, how are things now?? I'm curious :)

I have the same problem as well.

likeyou SG

I am a Leo too.

Sometimes, I love to being alone, really alone.

Sometimes, I love to join in the group.

But mostly, I love to being alone.

I love to be with my family members.

Try to relax and tell yourself: I love being myself. Nobody can control me. I am myself.

You can do it.

Cheers!

likeyou SG

Dont let your worries, aniexties, fear overcome you.

You must be strong, there will be a way if you have the will.

Nothing is impossible, one way or another, there will be a solution.

LonelyApple SG

dont tell me all that lah. its easier said than done. i think my real problem is loneliness.

uhm im still very nervous. . i think the main problem is i cant accept failure. i'm too hard on myself. cant help it.

Fugazzi SG

When one tries to think ''positively'' or if one does so it is akin to escaping reality. It is being stubborn ( why stubborn - one sticking to limited beleifs, one's conditioning comes in, encroaches) and the wanting to only look at one side of anything of living that causes anguish and anxiety. Anxiety is always the fear of the future or what might unfold. Anguish is the guilt of what one may have been or done which is perceived as ''wrong'' by society or even by one''s folly.

However, the ignoring does not mean the other that which is ignored is going to go away or ignore one. For eg, does the rain choose where to rain? In a muddy area something undesirable (merely a perception, a prejudice) like a swamp may grow and at the same time in an open garden a rose plant (also perception, also something told to one that this or that is nice) may blossom! However, if one is accepting of the reality of both phenomena - eg hot and cold, love and fear or left and right. one is free. It is the very acceptance that frees.

Fcukpap SG

the true problem is that u want too much attention to your SELF

Fcukpap SG

u r still psychologically immature yet...unlike other gals of the same age

LonelyApple SG

u want me to accept rejection?

Fugazzi SG

If one (you) are self-fulfilled who cares whether one accepts u or not. If appreciation comes u appreciate it - it is a bonus! if it does not come u are still ok. Why? Cos u are full and overflowing from within you. U are ''rich''. The work on you has to be done by you for urself. Others may offer u advice opinions or what-not. At the end of it all, all the waiting and the wishing (means one is waiting for somethings or people aka conditions to be fulfilled before one feels ok about ...) makes life difficult.

Living in the mind is not living - it is merely delusional. Living is being rooted in reality and understanding oneself.

Learning is easy but unlearning is essential. Otherwise, one is doomed to repeat ... from the disorder'' of what was learnt (condtioning,traditíons, beliefs).

My suggestion is understand yourself and be self-honest about what you are. What u think u are OR going to be is merely thinking. What u are not is what you are. Tomorrow always comes as now and if u are concerned about the future - understand what u are being now, what u are doing now, Cos all that what one is now or does overflows to the next hour and stretches to the future.

When what others think of u is important to u - u have already failed yourself - eg, u are in the driver''s seat of a car but those around u are controlling the moment u surrender the driving to their ....

LonelyApple SG

Living in the mind is not living - it is merely delusional. Living is being rooted in reality and understanding oneself.

Learning is easy but unlearning is essential. Otherwise, one is doomed to repeat ... from the disorder'' of what was learnt (condtioning,traditíons, beliefs).

i really hope i can just be myself.. stop thinking about how others think of me. i shouldnt care about how they think of me..whether they like me or not. if they dont who cares..at least im ME. but i cant do it. its so hard. .

i cant help feeling embarrassed of myself.

i just want to hide.

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