It seems that she has no problem with wanting to have sex, up to
that point.
So it could be what works with the other three ex, do not work
with this time. Instead of the de rigueur foreplay
and the eagerness for penetration, TS should just play and have fun
on bed, tickle, joke, laugh, caress, cause her neow
neow, slowly see how far she is willing to go. Caressing
her neck, causing goose pimples, sucking her inner thighs near the
knees and see how she screams, and how much she can take. Just play
and have fun. Trying finger first, if she allows. Hint, if a baby's
head can come out of the vagina, a dickhead is nothing.
If she amenable all along, part the labia and place the dickhead
there. Just place it there, no penetration. See how it goes.
If fear hits, stop. If not, see how far it can go.
If after a few attempts, its still no go beyond that point, then
its time to see the doctor.
Both need to see a doctor.
A GP or a shrink.
But she will not accept that suggestion from her husband. The
moment the husband broach the subject, = quarrel.
So it must be someone else she also respects, like a good
friend, or a counselor (religious or social).
The problem then will be that of letting a personal matter get
out. She may resent that.
Then that guy has a problem.