TS,
I think u are approaching this the Wrong
Way.......
I think you need 2 think outside the box
and take a different approach........SEX is one Word ---
Engjoy.
Your Goal ---First is to get her interested in SEX and not put
SEX as a "Problems" See the shift in perspective.
You see she is not the problems. You cannot put her in a state
of mind where she is the problems.......She just have a different
way to express and enjoy SEX and does not mean both of you cannot
enjoy SEX .......So u need to back off and changed your
attitude.
Talked to her and apologized for the forcesfulness. Back off so
that she feel safe. No Woman is going to enjoy
SEX if she don't feel safe. Not especially YOUR WIFE.
She needs to talk about her fear regards to this topics to
you. So make her feel safe to openly "Talk" not before SEX
but regular talking.
The minute she knows you are trying to woo her for
SEX....u loose the SEX game....
Important thing to KNOW....
Do you know what are the quality that she is attracted to
YOU.....Do you know what are the things you do that make her feel
safe. Do you know what make her feel sexy?
STILL need to talk to a female Doctor to understand her
condition?
Remember this does not mean she is the problems. She
may have a very sensitive nerves....either way both of you
need to understand as a COUPLE from a doctor perspective and
do some MRI imagine.
Understand You don't need to have children thru SEX.
Remember this is not her problem. She Maybe expressing
different way of enjoying SEX but certainly not her problems.
Therefore if you need alternative way such as Orally or other
method so be it U must make her feel that it is not her fault or
not her problems and u are enjoying as much as she does.
We are all make up differently. Look at the bright side you
are not going to have the boring tradditional
missionary SEX.
You say so much but it easier said than done and what is the way
to do it after all those suggestions. I think she has psychological
fear of sex, that why she is afraid and say her husband is too big
even though he said he isn't. And she doesn't want to see a
doctor.