quite interesting topic and exchange here.....
SgLovecop: you are obviously someone who is very clear cut and
sees things where black is black and white is white; grey does not
exist; meaning, committing an adultery is wrong and the person who
commit it is wrong and deserves to be punished.
jojo: ya, you are definitely a half cup full kind of person.
0.02 cents thought contribution from me: our intent dictates our
current actions which dictate the future consequences.
If TS chose to dwell on 'revenge' (either against the wife / the
guy), the one who gets hurt are: himself (short term), the kids
(eternal), the wife (short term). the ones who gain are: 0
if TS chose to pick up the pieces and concentrate on building
love in the family, all gain.
SSgLovecop;
you doubt, that when betrayal of trust has happened, the
relationship can continue happily. i am a living example that
this can happen: http://sgforums.com/forums/1991/topics/402715?page=1#post_9877264
you also mentioned, that as long as you select the right
partner, the bond will get stronger and stronger. well, i am
positive when you make this statement, you have not gone through
enough relationships to have the neccessary experience
to advise the TS here, in fact, your comments are dangerous to
the TS at this stage as he is emotionally fragile at this moment.
thus please spare a thought with your comments. you may very well
be destroying 3 lives.
my suggestion to the TS:
from your responses, i have no doubt that this case that u
raised, is a real case although who u really are in the case, i do
not know. the road of recovery from humiliation, anger, betrayal,
to one of love is a very very tough road. as someone who underwent
betrayal 6 times, i fully understand.
you need counselling help; both you and your wife. its tough but
not impossible. and it will never end. take strength from your kids
and perservere no matter how daunting it feels to you sometimes
when doubt and anger creeps into your mind again. work at it.
simply being optimistic is not going to work. you need to keep
working on the relationship and be the one that gives Love. i wish
you the best of luck.
6 times betrayal? If everyone were like you, everyone would be
cheating around behind their spouses. You know why? Because no
matter how many times they do it, their spouse will still forgive
them. By condoning their sins, you are encouraging them to do it
again. Your wife is a record holder all because of your tolerance
and generosity. I guess you have become very good at suppressing
your own feelings.
of course its a very tough road. why do you say it never end? if
you are living happily, all the suffering should already be behind
you. i really doubt whether you are living happily with your wife
now or you are just settling for whatever you can get. TS's wife
doesn't even want to go to counselling.
you give her love and she returns it with 6 times of betrayal.
Fantastic advice!
Oh look what i found. You are the type of guy who will entertain
the idea of fooling around.
"if the opportunity presents itself for me to have sex with
another girl, would i do it? Definitely MAYBE....Why? my life is
too short not to experience different things...no human likes to
eat abalone every day.....including girls."
Your situation is entirely different from TS. Your relationship
is based on multiple sex partners, how can you compare with his.
And you want to advise him now? HAHAHA
and you have to conduct surprise checks on your girl? Wow, you
must trust her alot. Even if you do not manage to catch her again,
doesn't mean she is not screwing other guys behind your back. She
just got better at hiding it from you!
