Wife is manipulated

Fenixx SG

Try forgiveness - it is the oil for broken spirits.

Forgive your wife just as she forgives you for your violence. Start all over again for the sake of the kids and the family.

Legal action doesn't change anything that have already happened, does it?

look forward and move on. Learn the lessons of the past and leave it behind you.

Fenixx SG

Your wife is NOT YOUR PROPERTY.

What the hell makes you think you can beat her?!

Is she your dog?!

Men like you are bloody losers. If you've got the guts, why don't you fly over to wherever that other guy is and beat him up instead of taking out your anger on your wfie?

I recommend that you grow some balls instead.

Since the affair is over, then it's over. If you want you can go out and have some too.

But seriously, I pity your kids. They have to live with an abusive father and an immature mother. One can only imagine what kinda fucked up shit your family has to go through everyday.

lil' missy sure has gone bonkers liao....... hey relax lah...........

littlemissbonkers SG

Try forgiveness - it is the oil for broken spirits.

Forgive your wife just as she forgives you for your violence. Start all over again for the sake of the kids and the family.

Legal action doesn't change anything that have already happened, does it?

look forward and move on. Learn the lessons of the past and leave it behind you.

Lol me ish bonkers!

No la...I just can't stand it when men think it's alright to hit their wives...

Get's my blood boiling everytime.

TTFU SG

TTFU, The Bear, Arapahoe, Allulu69, MobTwo, Hwaimeng, thanks to all you for your thoughts.

There is no doubt that I must move on and stop hurting my wife especially since my kids can watch and ask me who is at fault. They know dad teach them good values but why then he beat my mom. I explained to them “when mom was in some danger, she did not share it with me and I could not help her from getting cheated. So, dad feels hurt! I teach them to identify and stay away from bad and negative people.”

Yes. A real man takes care of his family, not abuse them.

1) Its normal to make mistakes, just dont repeat your mistakes. Since you understood, its time to move on.

2) Wrong conception. You dont aim for rewards/ awards or prizes if you truely want to help others, helping others without a aim. Thats truely the happiness of helping others.Not to gain recognition to boost your popularity.

3) Nothing sad actually. You are living in peace now, and whats over is over. If you want to seek revenge and destroy this peace that you have now, its then really sad.

4)Your family, your kids, your wife will give you the necessary to move on.

Bo|2eDtoDeath SG

I knew of a woman who had to under take the same choices. Guess what she chose?

She chose to stay on. Her 2 kids were provided for and grew up normally without having an financial difficulties, something she would face had she chose to leave.

The marriage was never the same thou. The adults slept in different room and as much as they pretended nothing was wrong, it could never really be the same.

While her kids grew up "normally" she herself suffered in silence mentally over her husbands betrayal. She may have forgivened her husband, but she NEVER forgot the incident. Her marrige was cold devoided of love.

Her husbands betrayal had also strengthened her resolve in teaching her children the "right way" in life often leading to obession. She didn't want her children to go astray, so she would be strict with her children, often beating them when mistakes were made. She made it clear to them where they had gone wrong often citing their fathers betrayal as an example.

Her husband too did try to make up for the mistakes, he did try to become the "super" dad as potrayed in TV shows. He worked even harder and vowed to make up for his mistakes by financially providing for his family. Again, whether it was out of love or guilt nobody knows. Whatever he did, he felt he could never really make up to his wife or children after what he had done.

The children did grew up "normally" at least in the financial aspect. However the children did pick up clues as to what was going on, often from the heated arguments between the parents. While young, they though nothing more of it, often confused with the emotions shown. When they grew older, the cloud of confusion became alot clearer and they finally understood what was going on. As men and no longer little boys, they came to a conclusion of their own, that no men could be trusted, not even family and so developed trust issues. How could 2 people, who took their vows in the house of god, with god as witness betray each other??

I'm not saying YOUR family will definately turn up like the one mentioned above. I'm no fortune teller.

However any decision/course of action you are going to take in the future, please understand that the life of your children, yourself and yourself will be affected regardless.

You have to make a sacrafice somewhere, either your happiness, your childrens or your wives. This is by no mean an easy task and regardless of whatever choice you make, someone is bound to suffer.

Make the choice and hope you can live with it. You will ever truly know the results in your dying moments when you ask yourself if the amount good out weight the bad, if your decision was justified.

Mistakes were made DON'T dwell over them. Instead look towards the future and try to make things right.

I'm sorry you have to make such a choice. I truly am.

Rainbow Jigsaw SG

TTFU, can't I beat my wife when I find she is unfaithful. Anyway, I have stopped that because I realise it is not going the solve the problem.

The Bear, yes, I agree I am focusing on building the relationship now. But, this guy manipulated and escaped from Singapore. I could not do anything. I was totally confused last year. The good thing is my mind never thought of divorce because deep in my heart I loved her so much (she tells me that I never expressed it to her)

When we can bring the Romanian ambassador under our law, why not in this case? I see it is well planned by him.

Asromanista, my wife said everything started after her delivery though he has been approaching her while she was pregnant. My blood group is unique in the family and my son follows, and also my wife said she is not so stupid to carry another man's baby.

Jojobeach, you write like that because you did not know much about me. When my wife delivered, I got busy with Tsunami helping people for 1-2 years. My wife says that I got so much passion into it that I forgot about her. She says always I talk only about those families who got affected. People are passionate to helping other people, you consider them as "neglecting their own family".

The guy has been watching her closely. When he realised I am not closer to her during those years, he used the opportunity to manipulate her. My wife is not going thru' hell. She says she feels much relieved and peaceful these days. Probably, you would not have come across good people in life.

Dear Doss,

I can understand the hurt you must have felt being cheated upon. To be fair, your wife needs to reflect deeply on her commitment to the marriage. BUT that does not give you the right to beat her. Do you know she can bring you to court for that in Singapore?

You talk about helping others in a faraway disaster place yet abuse your wife at home. There are definitely deep inner aspects within you that need balancing and healing, before you can get the life and future you truly want. If you truly love your wife, you need to be able to find forgiveness within you to forgive her, and work towards a happier future. Then be open with each other, and communicate genuinely about what both of you truly want in both your futures.

Then let Nature take its course from there, as I somehow feel that the connection between you and your wife probably requires serious life lessons to be learnt for both parties from your marriage in this life.

http://www.rainbowjigsaw.com/2010/06/sea-of-love.html

http://www.rainbowjigsaw.com/2010/06/quick-checklist-are-you-positive-person.html

Rainbow Jigsaw of Life

parn SG

Friends,

My wife has been brainwashed to have an affair. This unmarried guy, aged 33, convinced her that I no longer love her.

She does not have parents, so I always feel sorry for her misbehaviour in those 3 years instead of doubting her character. She leaves for her office after I go to work and I use to return home quite late every day. Everything took place in the office, so I am blinded.

She realised her mistake earlier, but she did not get out because the guy worked in the same company (had fear in him after she got hooked) and she knew that he will return to his home country when his work permit expires.

Today, my wife says: "I do not think of him any more because it is bad, you and kids are important for me. That idiot manipulated me." Though we spend more time these days, the hurt is still there. Sometimes I get very angry and beat her and later feel sorry. Me and my wife are going through stress though it has been many months since I found it. Imagine it took me a year to come here and seek for advice. The guy returned to his home country last year.

Can I take legal action against this guy who manipulated my wife during pregnancy (some say women go thru depression) or I can't since since my wife is an adult and she is solely responsible for all her actions.

Who could I approach to recover from stress and hurt I am going through from time to time? My wife is not willing to meet a counsellor since she feels ashamed.

Appreciate your advice.

I would like to advise your wife to take Legal Action against you for abusive behaviour against women.

She would need to make a police report for each incidents before she could apply for a domestic protection order against you.

Normally in cases such as this, you will lose all custody to your children but you are still liable to pay your wife monthly maintenance fees to upkeep your children.

Since that man has already gone home to his country, I would advise your wife to forget about the entire incident, so that you will not be able to have any case of infidelity against her with regarding to the fight for custody of your children.

The guy was right, you really do no longer love your wife if you can afford to hit her.

mancha SG

What happened to your wife could also happen to you.

So Forgive.

There are people, men and women, who do not care that the object of their desire is married. What happened is not unusual or strange. It is only not permissible by the norm.

There was no crime or wrong done. So forget about sueing the rascal. Your wife went into the affair as an adult, yes she is responsible for her actions.

She realise her mistake. She regretted it. It is over. That is a plus point.

Your pride is hurt. That is the biggest problem now. Other than that what is the problem. Think carefully, what is the problem other than your hurt pride.

You say you are a leader of people, what advice would you give regarding pride?

Forgive your wife, not for her sake but for your peace of mind.

I am sure she would be smart and forgive you too for beating her.

Look at her in the eyes, smile, and hug her. Don't have to say "I love you" like the ang mohs, just be sincere that is enough. There after talk to her and your kids as a happy family, like nothing happened.

Remember you came here asking for advice.

And others have also advised you to forgive.

Hamsterbaby SG

Did you find out when she was still pregnant ? If you did you should have push her down the stairs when she is having labour .

save you some bills and stuff :)

I am sorry to say if you find it out only after she pop the Kid out though. What you can do is get her to confess her unfaithfulness and record it down and go to court citing irreconilable differences and unfaithfulness and divorce her.

You might need to pay alimony , but there are always loopholes in the law to get around it.

If I were you , I will definitely divorce her and I won't even want the Kid to be honest , best to cut off all ties.

Women always complain man being unfaithful, but I can assure you in Singapore the number of unfaithful females are equal to that of their male counterparts.

So just get rid of her and start a new life afresh with someone else. While you are preparing to do that make sure you work hard and become god damn successful in whatever you do.

Its always nice to see bitches who doesn't have any backbone coming back to you begging for scrubs and you slap the door on them.

That look of statisfaction will be priceless

rawr.

dangerboi SG

never ending to these replies..

Actually family affairs are difficult to solve because outsiders don't really know the whole situation.

parn SG

Did you find out when she was still pregnant ? If you did you should have push her down the stairs when she is having labour .

save you some bills and stuff :)

You might need to pay alimony , but there are always loopholes in the law to get around it.

If I were you , I will definitely divorce her and I won't even want the Kid to be honest , best to cut off all ties.

Women always complain man being unfaithful, but I can assure you in Singapore the number of unfaithful females are equal to that of their male counterparts.

So just get rid of her and start a new life afresh with someone else. While you are preparing to do that make sure you work hard and become god damn successful in whatever you do.

Its always nice to see bitches who doesn't have any backbone coming back to you begging for scrubs and you slap the door on them.

That look of statisfaction will be priceless

rawr.

Women are never wrong, she can always find and easily find a man who is willing to make her feel right.

Men are always wrong, he doesn't realise that can never find a woman to make him feel right, he will always need to force his woman to make him feel right.

[email protected] SG

TTFU, The Bear, Arapahoe, Allulu69, MobTwo, Hwaimeng, thanks to all you for your thoughts.

1. you are a bad guy for hitting your wife but your wife is even worse, she committed adultery. since you had no where to release your hurt and resentment, you laid your hands on her. wrong move.

2. you are unlucky because you have a UN-supportive wife. actually its nothing to do with luck, you just chose the wrong woman to marry. i bet your wife was never keen on doing volunteer work. nothing wrong with that, but you should have known better to choose such a woman for a wife if you are a Good Samaritan yourself.

3. the one you should be taking revenge on is your wife for cheating on you not the man she was sleeping with. a woman who has integrity will never do that. the best part is, she even had the guts to push the blame onto the guy when she was the one at fault, how clever of her. looks like you got a smart one there.

4. your family happiness is gone forever because you can never love your wife like you used to because she slept with another man. and she can never love you like she used to because she decided to sleep with another man. every night when you sleep beside your wife, you can't help but think of what she did to you. can you love such a person for the rest of your life? you know the answer in your heart. as the days pass, you will only build up more resentment against your wife because any man in his right mind will never be able to tolerate his wife cheating on him. just like how any woman in her right mind would never be able to tolerate her husband for cheating on her. in fact, he will have hell to pay if he did.

you might be a leader in a certain field but you know nothing about women. you are a very naive man living in denial. <--- i'm already being very polite with my choice of words here. i hope God will take good care of you just like how you have given your time and efforts to take care of his children.

i ain't see no happily ever after in this one. if you are serious about not wasting the rest of your life being unhappy with a woman who cheated on you, you have to divorce her and move on. its not an easy decision but too bad, you got yourself into this mess and now its time to pay.

God bless you.

Fcukpap SG

"because women are never wrong" ...thats why men has to get away from an inhuman...

jojobeach SG

1. you are a bad guy for hitting your wife but your wife is even worse, she committed adultery. since you had no where to release your hurt and resentment, you laid your hands on her. wrong move.

God bless you.

Tsk tsk tsk.. don't take your resentments/contempt out on TS dude.

There are many wifes out there who tolerated their husband's infidelity and stayed on in the marriage for the sake of their children ? Why can't a man do the same ?

Are you trying to destroy TS's family because of your own/personal angst against women ?

Do you know why men has a low propensity to keep the family together in times of spousal betrayal as compared to women ?

When a husband cheats on a woman. The woman blames herself first. She lays part of the guilt onto herself. That's where her tolerance comes from.

When a woman cheats on a man. The man blames EVERYTHING on the woman. And will not hesitate to rip the family apart.

And are you BLIND to TS Doss's confessions ?

He BEAT his wife, INFRONT of his kids !!!!

While infidelity is not criminal, physical abuse IS.

His wife can easily report the abuse to the police and use it as grounds for divorce and take away the kids !!

But she didn't.. she's trying to make this broken marriage work again.

You talk like you know women.. but you know NOTHING. So please, get your head outa your ass.

My advise for you is to quietly observe and learn. How old are you 15 ?

Itedino SG

All your fault la. Dun ever beat her or raise your farking voice at her anymore.

1st step: Let all your relative to know and let them advise her. You cannot advise. The more you talk the worse it get.

2nd step: Your most precious chip is your kids. A lady is always a female creature. She will be more bond to the kids. So stick to the kids and let her feel that the kids needs her everyday. Let her have no time.

3rd step: You can't take legal action againts him BUT you blow up the matter and force your wife to quit. Go to the office and make noise. You must bring her out of the situation and the enviroment VERY IMPORTANT bro. Den Throw away her hp and make it seem like lost and change her HP number. The guy shouldn't chase her.

4rd step: Try to think. I think cos the guy is someone that can aids her career so she dun dare to go against him. The guy is just a life saving cause when your wife feel sad. He consoles her and let your wife put him into her minds.

5th step: DUn ever called up the guy and scold him. You will only push your wife to him more. Dun ever get into a fight, you are always at the losing end cos you will only push your wife to him.

6th Step: Spend more time with her but not fetch her everyday but occasionally. Reminds her of the time you have been with her. Give her family happiness and not pressure her. She will come to you. REMENBER you are Always at the Upper Hand cos you got CHIPS on your hand.

Itedino SG

Did you find out when she was still pregnant ? If you did you should have push her down the stairs when she is having labour .

save you some bills and stuff :)

You might need to pay alimony , but there are always loopholes in the law to get around it.

If I were you , I will definitely divorce her and I won't even want the Kid to be honest , best to cut off all ties.

Women always complain man being unfaithful, but I can assure you in Singapore the number of unfaithful females are equal to that of their male counterparts.

So just get rid of her and start a new life afresh with someone else. While you are preparing to do that make sure you work hard and become god damn successful in whatever you do.

Its always nice to see bitches who doesn't have any backbone coming back to you begging for scrubs and you slap the door on them.

That look of statisfaction will be priceless

rawr.

Your comments are very irresponsible. He wrote here cos he love his wife. He is remourseful. Alimony haha. will not. Adultery is very serious offense. The kids will only follow the other parents. IF they are been taped to hold hands, hug or go hotel. I tell you finish. The judge will only give to the father and not the mother.

Itedino SG

TTFU, can't I beat my wife when I find she is unfaithful. Anyway, I have stopped that because I realise it is not going the solve the problem.

When we can bring the Romanian ambassador under our law, why not in this case? I see it is well planned by him.

wah laoz. Whatever happen you shouldn't beat her la. WRONG ALREADY. You better get her sister or relative to cousel her. You better shut up and be a good hubby from now. DUN even mention about the affair. Ai swee zhuo ge swee swee. make her resign and dun mention the affair again. WHY I KNOW cos I BEEN THROUGH

[email protected] SG

Tsk tsk tsk.. don't take your resentments/contempt out on TS dude.

There are many wifes out there who tolerated their husband's infidelity and stayed on in the marriage for the sake of their children ? Why can't a man do the same ?

Are you trying to destroy TS's family because of your own/personal angst against women ?

Do you know why men has a low propensity to keep the family together in times of spousal betrayal as compared to women ?

When a husband cheats on a woman. The woman blames herself first. She lays part of the guilt onto herself. That's where her tolerance comes from.

When a woman cheats on a man. The man blames EVERYTHING on the woman. And will not hesitate to rip the family apart.

And are you BLIND to TS Doss's confessions ?

He BEAT his wife, INFRONT of his kids !!!!

While infidelity is not criminal, physical abuse IS.

His wife can easily report the abuse to the police and use it as grounds for divorce and take away the kids !!

But she didn't.. she's trying to make this broken marriage work again.

You talk like you know women.. but you know NOTHING. So please, get your head outa your ass.

My advise for you is to quietly observe and learn. How old are you 15 ?

it might be true that many wives out there tolerated their husband's infidelity for their children's sake but i'm sure they don't sleep on the same bed anymore. A man can do the same, but i seriously doubt he will be happy.

i'm trying to tell him that he doesn't want a liar with no honesty and integrity to raise his kids because the kids will not be brought up with the right values.

any man who has been betrayed by his wife will have low propensity to keep the family together.

when a woman cheats on a man. she blames EVERYTHING on the man, although she might never admit it to others. in this case, she blamed the other man.

his confessions tell me that he has been very well brainwashed by his LOVELY wife. i'm not blind to them.

He is wrong for beating his wife regardless of in front or behind or beside his kids.

His wife should be so shameful of herself and her betrayal that she should divorce him anyway so as not to bring more pain into his life.

She is staying married for the benefit of herself and her kids, not for her husband. She loves herself and her kids, she doesn't love her husband. She is making use of her husband purely for financial reasons. If she got divorced now with her kids, i'm not sure which man would want her.

You talk like you know men and women, but you know NOTHING. So please get your head outa your ass.

my advice for you is to quietly observe and learn. Even if you are 100 years old, it doesn't mean you know anything. Seniority does not equal wisdom.

TTFU SG

i'm trying to tell him that he doesn't want a liar with no honesty and integrity to raise his kids because the kids will not be brought up with the right values.

any man who has been betrayed by his wife will have low propensity to keep the family together.

when a woman cheats on a man. she blames EVERYTHING on the man, although she might never admit it to others. in this case, she blamed the other man.

his confessions tell me that he has been very well brainwashed by his LOVELY wife. i'm not blind to them.

He is wrong for beating his wife regardless of in front or behind or beside his kids.

His wife should be so shameful of herself and her betrayal that she should divorce him anyway so as not to bring more pain into his life.

You talk like you know men and women, but you know NOTHING. So please get your head outa your ass.

my advice for you is to quietly observe and learn. Even if you are 100 years old, it doesn't mean you know anything. Seniority does not equal wisdom.

Mind explaning the bolded ?

[email protected] SG

Mind explaning the bolded ?

majority of people (men and women) will never blame themselves for any fault. the easiest way is to push the blame onto others. why? because they don't want to make themselves feel miserable and admit to themselves the fact that they are not as good or holy as they think they are.

its very obvious that she has no integrity because she agreed to sleep with another man. if she wanted to sleep with another man, she should have divorced her husband first then she can sleep with any man she wants. it is her fault for agreeing to sleep with the other man but she told her husband that it is the other man who manipulated her. what a lie. it was not as though the other man pointed a gun at her head and forced her to sleep with him. of course the other man was also in the wrong for getting involved with her but she should not have agreed to sleep with him no matter what. by pushing the blame onto the other man, she make herself like an innocent party and victim but she is also at fault.

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