I am in my forties...
Started my career in the govt sector in 1991. Left it
briefly in 1999. But the new company decided to screw up my
job role (when I went for my 1st day, they said I was doing another
job) and so decided to go back to my previous job.
Having gotten my job, I had to repay their faith in me.
And so, I have been working for 20 years now. Meanwhile,
my wife worked up the career ladder to a managerial post and now
earns $10k per month, with bonus around $160k per year.
She quite had it with the pressures of her job and now decided
to become a property agent. She has a guy friend who does
part time property agent. This guy is investment savy - He
has 10 properties under his name and drives a Lexus RX350.
Lately, she has been comparing him with me. Well, I earn
120 - 130k per year. Is that really bad? She said I am
not aggressive enough in my career. I am in a line of work
with skills are that not really needed elsewhere. I tried
applying for 2 other jobs 6 months ago, but the fact is, no one
wants to employ a man in his forties without any relevant
skills.
When both of us started work, she was earning much lesser than
me, I have no complains. I footed the bills and even paid off
her 3 months notice in the early years. Now, she is implying
I am not earning enough aka a loser. Tried to talk to her
last night but hit a blank wall. I was talking and she
decided to sleep.
What has become of a husband and wife?? Where's the simple
respect for each other?
*Sigh* Just want to say it out....
There's really no need to feel insecure about your marriage
life.
Your income is sufficient to provide for a family to live
comfortably, even if your wife is not working.
She's out there working because she just doesn't want to get
bored at home.
IF she choose to go with that guy, she is just plain
foolish.
Just let her know that , you are more than willing to let her go
if she finds that man more attractive. But warn that, the moment
she walks out that door, you'll never take her back.
However, please do not sit around, do nothing to improve the
marriage, thinking that she won't walk out that door.
I believe the problem for her is that boredom has set in after
so many years. When was the last time you and her go out on a
romantic date (without the kids) ?
When was the last time you make her feel sexy ?
When was the last time you make her feel wanted, cherished and
appreciated ?
Have you stopped working on the marriage ?
You may be the best provider any woman will ever want.. but have
you stopped being a loving husband ?
Have you become BORING ?
No doubt , photography is a nice hobby, but it is not something
she can participate in.
While you are out shooting fire works... what is she to do ? Sit
around waiting ?
Get a hobby you can BOTH participate in.
You know why she keeps comparing him to you ? She is just trying
to ignite the competitive streak in you ( the man). so that you
STOP being so BORING and start making life EXCITING again !!!
She may be your wife, but it's time to start treating her like a
WOMAN.