Hi to all.
I really never expected so many ppl can console me. I thank alot
for all your information and time.Thank a million.
However, my case is abit more complicated then normal case.
I think i shouldn't be shy if i want some help.
Ok, i know this guy at the age of 14. At tat time i think he the
man i want coz he is so much older then me. And after a few mth of
meeting up with him we became an item. He will always ask me to
stay over nite at his place coz he wan to spend more time with me.
As a result, i skip sch, and run away from home. my parent is dame
upset with me. But wat do i know at tat time. He has a sweet mouth,
always came up with alot of sweet words making me can't turn him
down.
At tat time, my dad is so worry of my safety. Everyday he will
go around looking for me. He even bring my photo to geylang to ask
all the passes-by just to find me. Isn't he is a great father? But
i'm so "in love" tat i can't see tat. I blame him instead.
Our relationship turn sour after a few mth together. He will hit
me if things not done properly. He will beat me when he has no
money. He will use his fist, and leg to kick me. When i told him i
want a break up he told me to pay up all the expenses he have spend
on me and he want to see the cash immediately no delay. Then i
start to steal and cheat from friend and relative just to give him
the money so he won't hit me.
Soon, he is out of job, and slowly i found out that he lies alot
to me. He lie that his dad was a business man, his age, his highest
qualification, and claim he stay in a appartment. I do not dare to
confront him coz i scared he will hit me. But i still stay with
him. He even scold my dad and want to hit my dad. Suddenly, i was
send to the girls home for BPC. after 1 mth, i was release from
girls home. I was forbid to see him. But i still break all those
rules and be with him. because i was under probation. i must go
home everyday after sch. and he use this as an excuses tat i'm nt
spending enough time with him to have another woman outside(not 1
but 3 woman).After i found out he told me to give him time to
settle but it an empty promise. I change my hp num and we lose
contact. But he still came to my sch to look for my friend for my
num. Then everything start all over again.
Until i found out i was pregnant, the hitting stop but not the
scolding and blaming. My dad even disown me. But i told myself if i
can have a good family, i believe my dad will understand. so i try
my best to give in to him. We have to stay with his parent coz we
do not have a marry cert to apply for house. As soon as my baby was
born, (2nd day) during the nite my baby cry non stop. he blame me
for all her crying making him can't sleep properly thur the
nite.And this continued even until now.
I found out i was pregnant again. i do not dare to give birth to
the 2nd one coz i don wan another innocent life to surffer like how
my gal is surffering now. So i go for a abortion. the next
day after the abortion he start to hit me already.He hit
me with baseball bat, TV remote and guitar. so tat when i call the
police and he was charged and sent to imprisonment for 4mth.
After he came out he still hit me. but not those hard one. So it
don't leave a mark. But now he don't hit me because i told him if
he hit me i will still call the police again. Now wat he dare to do
is scold my mother, and my family. in a sense, verbally abuse. He
said 1 day if he cannot take it he will kill me with a knife then
my family.
I really have to act strong infront of him so he won't take
advantage of me. I have to hid from him and go to those family svc
for help.Now i have so many question:
1st: how am i suppose to divorce if i'm not even married?
2nd: Because he is a malay and my daughter has a malay name, he
told me i can never win the case cause in the future my daughter
need him to consent on her marriage.
3rd: I'm not yet 21 how am i suppose to fight for my daughter?
Since you cannot divorce him, apply for a personal protection
order. Under the women's charters there is something which will bar
him from even approaching you or your child.
There is no case to fight here, he is just being a jackass and
trying to intimidate you. He has a criminal record for physical
violence, and no job, so as long as you can get a job and your mum
to look after your baby, there is no way he will win custody.
There are always exceptions, even in the syariah court. In your
situation, there is no need to worry as there is no need for his
approval for your daughter to get married. Instead of thinking
about your child's marriage, worry about your immediate
situation.
You are not 21 that is why you need to seek help from your mum.
If she can look after your child for you, and is willing to be her
legal guardian, you can keep the child with you.
Here are the steps for you to take:
1) Get a PPO
2) Ask your mum for help
3) Get a full time job unless you want to go back to study
4) Seek LAB for help in getting a lawyer if he tries to fight
for custody