He has been going for medical check up. Full body check up after
a bike accident recently and other digestive discomfort previously,
in fact he has gone for so many check ups compared to me and my
peers I get blur. Sometimes I will google or read up more and give
him some advice on what to do to show I care but it feels quite
silly since he is quite familiar with his own body. I think his
health is deteriorating too but he reassures me that he has always
been a bit weak and is used to this process.
Don't quite get the
part I highlighted in blue? Don't think he is being someone he is
not since obviously he is not the vain kind. Did I
misread?
Am scared of going
over the edge of showing him I am upset over his appearance and
hygiene, that is why lately I refrain from commenting about
anything. Only do it once in a while now. Maybe twice a month or
something in a joking manner.
Is there a way I can
approach this tactfully if I were to sit down and talk to him again
nicely from one adult to another? Will I seem very demanding as a
girlfriend?
I will not break up
with him over this, it is not a deal breaker for me. Sometimes I
dunno what to say. Take for instance two months ago I discovered
two warts growing on his hand. So I told him best to have it
removed. He visited a clinic and the doctor sent him off with some
crap solution that did not solve the problem. He "report" back to
me and the next week he visited another doctor who told him the
same thing, that it will fall off on it's own.
The thing is, it
won't even be there if he is hygienic in the first place.
At the same time he really made the effort to "please" me in that
manner so much so he needs some credit for effort. But that puts me
in a difficult position because why would I want to hold his hand
if there are warts growing on it!
Anyway the wart issue
has been resolved but you get the drift. It is quite
frustrating.
What I meant in my highlighted
statement:
Our personality will regress back to equilibrium every time we
go on default mode. By default we are 'like this'. However the only
time we would evolve temporary is when there is a reason
(social or not) to governs/shape our behaviour in certain
unspoken direction. For example, you don't pee in public simply
just because you need to relieve yourself. You will hold it, even
if it means feeling uncomfortable.
If he is someone who does not bothers very much about
his health OR personal hygiene by default, but
took special attempt to look into the area during
the chase - there is a high chance that he will
just regress back to this 'default' after
the relationship is form unless he has somehow learn to
incorporate that into his core values.
I quote what you had typed:
[quote] now that he has a girlfriend, he doesn’t need to
exercise or keep himself fit that often anymore.
[/quote]
People only change and evolve if there is a relevant
catalysis to ignite the first step and a robust structure in
place to maintain this change. If there is no catalysis, there
will be no change. Even there is a change, without a structure
to maintain this change, it will regress back into 'default
mode'.
If this is something that is affecting you, it is not
something that you can resolve it by
yourself. Relationship is called relationship because all
problems are worked out between two parties - doing it alone
is called compromising. If you decide that you wanna be 'nice'
now, knowing that this will be an issue to you in the
future - you are just sacrificing short term gains
for long term growth.
You need to talk about it - tell him honestly that this is
affecting you. Don't hint to your man; a strong, obvious, blatant,
zhun hint is still a hint. If you are hinting, then don't expect
real reply. Also, joking is not communication. If you joke
about it, then your conversation will always be cast off as
a joke.
Learn to talk. Learn to speak. Learn to communicate REAL
feelings. Fix a date, tell him that you want to review this
relationship after one year. Tell him to that you want to know
his ideas and feelings about the relationship, as well as
yours. Let him know that there is a potential issue from the
way you see it. Put items on the table - make it
conscious, not unconscious.
P.S: Some people feel it's difficult to do a HTH talk because we
might hurt our other half. But I can tell you is possible to
talk real feelings tactfully. I can't guarantee that
things will be better after talking, but I can assure you that
it will fail if you stop communicating. 
Cheers