hello. I have a problem pls advice
I recently feel like avoiding my boyfriend because its awkward
around him nowadays. I'm not being choosy or selfish (im so sorry
if i sounds like it) but often i treat him meals and stuff. Isn't
it weird? really sorry for being selfish but this is not what i was
expecting. When we went to clubbing together with our group of
friends, i caught him dance with other girls too but when i dance
with some random guys, he scold me. And when the time comes when i
finally had it with him, he gave me some stern warning that i will
regret it if i broke up with him. I'm really scared. Even my
friends asked me to not to do this and to continue on having a
relationship with him. They asked me to endure a few months with
him till he get bored of me or something but i cant wait that long.
pls to the girls, how u break up with such a aggresive guy? i
really cant take it anymore. pls i really need help i do
anything
It is with horror and sadness that I feel for you on reading
your plight. I am aware of guys who can be quite domineering
and self centred, regardless if he is some gentlemanly looking
scholar or tattooed chao Ah Beng. I understand my own gender
species well.
Selfish and only care for their own needs without a damn to
others, and when the girl wants to break off, threats come flying,
sometimes fake, many times real where passion is involved. Thus I
comprehend your fear.
Sometimes, courage is not enough, despite many
others' advice, for the threats are real, and you
certainly have no wish to come to mental or physical harm, nor
would I want you to come to that stage.
Some believe a court order or protection order will bind you,
but unfortunately, that works only for people who have brains
and have no wish to run afoul of the law. Thus you are trapped, and
too late for regrets.
It is good you share you plight here, so that many other readers
may avoid getting trap as well. Macho is cool and attractive, but
more often than not, the macho front is only a cover to hide deep
insecurities and fear within.
The true macho ones are the quiet ones. The only time you will
get to see their true worth is at times of troubles and crisis as
they will calmly and intelligently shine a path for others out of
adverse situations.
I have not the answers that will free you, but putting myself in
the shoes of the chao ah beng, I may percieve his insight and
views. To deal with an enemy is to first know and understand
how he ticks.
He has an ego - his pride. To allow you to leave him, would be a
blow to his presumed 'macho' image. He does not love you, for if he
did, he would be sincere to you.
Dancing or flirting with other girls is never a sign of
sincerity, so are threats of injury to you. You are only his toy,
to parade around his friends that he is 'the can' - capable of
getting a girl despite his ah bengness and jail experiences.
Thus the trick would be to allow him his stupid ego to be
supreme. Make yourself boring. Shave your head (hair can grow back)
and tell him its the latest fashion later. Wear boring clothes,
fully covered up, and claim the weather is hot. Dont put on any
more makeup and claim you are allegic to lotions. Dont splash
perfume anymore, better still, dont shower, tell him you did shower
and he will feel disgusted.
The keyword is 'disgust'. Make him disgusted with you. I know it
may not be your way, but it is a necessary sacrifice, for your life
is indeed in danger. No one else can help you except yourself. It
will only be for a few weeks. Make him disgusted and dump you
instead.
Forget about your pride for these few months. Once he dumps you,
you will be free, to grow your hair and be the real woman you truly
are, more wiser and matured, to never make the same mistake
again. Avoid him, and if he intends to patch back, tell him
you saw an astrologer and your stars are not right for each other.
Only harm will befall. This chao ah beng is superstitious too,
being an uneducated bum that he truly is.
This is only my suggestion, and only for your consideration.
Most important of all, do take good care of yourself. Whatever that
had happened in the past cannot be change, but you have the power
to change your future. It is in your hands.
Good luck and please, please take good care of yourself.
Cheers.