Mistress

last SG · 2009-10-18T14:56:51+00:00

a PI can gather evidence which a lawyer will use.I mean, an experienced lawyer might have some reliable PI contacts already for such cases, so TS can leave e...

Arapahoe SG

Hi Arapahoe,

He admitted it infront of his parents and my family that he have got more than 1 mistress & have been sleeping around in China while on business trip.

I am sorry to hear that but i guess at this stage you have to ask yourself if you want to be with him or drop him. Of course having kids make it all the more difficult. But i guess at the end of the day whatever decision you made it will help to move forward with your life either with our without your partners.

Sometime career and relationship may not go side by side. This is played all over. couples at some point need to ask what is important.

My wife n I seperated for 1 yr and I deceided that one of us should drop our job with Risk of career stabilities and economics adjustment.

mancha SG

No need for PI, just a lawyer is enough.

No need to get any proof of wrong doing.

Just declare that the marriage has irretrievably broken down due to ____________, and get the lawyer to petition for divorce.

Reject all attempts for counselling or reconciliation.

That is if you are really determined.

Anthiadon SG

What were your and his parents' reactions to his confession? It's always to better to discuss this issue with him seriously especially since you are pregnant but if the marriage is really unsalvagable then you might want to get a lawyer for yourself.

Angrrry.00 SG

Hi Anthiadon,

I am trying to save the marriage on one hand but on the other hand he is not even remorseful about it, he even came up with ridiculous suggestion to share husband. I really come in to a stand that i am very tired physically & mentally to continue all these games wih him & his mistresses.

I've given him enough chances & even try to work things out but i guess it is really difficult at this point of time unless somebody can get him wake up his mind.

Angrrry.00 SG

Hi CannyOng,

We studied & graduated from the same university but as years go by i climbed up the corporate ladder faster than him.

Angrrry.00 SG

Hi TrueHeart,

Thank you for showing me the newspaper article. I guess quite a number of my friends who know me well will know what i've went through over the years.

Fatum SG

what you should do, is to start accumulating evidence that you have been contributing actively to the matrimonial assets, better yet, show that you've been contributing more than he did.

start collecting things like household bills receipts, payments you made etc, build up a past history file. Check out the ownership of your assets like HDB flats, private apartments etc, many people just don't pay attention to such things until matrimonial cracks start appearing. What you want to do, is to show the court of any potential divorce proceedings that you have been at least an equal partner financially in the union. Then you'll have a better chance of keeping as much things as you can out of reach of the gold-digging whore on the make.

Sgforum King SG

dude wtf your situation is on the papers. i think u should get that cut out and throw it in your husbands face.

jojobeach SG

Hi Anthiadon,

I've given him enough chances & even try to work things out but i guess it is really difficult at this point of time unless somebody can get him wake up his mind.

What exactly is it you are trying to hold on to ?

You are desperately grasping at air.

You cannot force him to love you , just as you cannot force him to love the unborn child.

Take whatever material compensation you can get from him.

Plan a future minus this unfaithful man. The reason he stray from a normal marriage is not your fault, he is the one that's broken inside.

Let the other woman pick up his dirty socks and underwear. Let her do his lame ass biddings.

Don't let this man and ignorant mistress take away your self-esteem. You are capable of living your own happy life.

Forbiddensinner SG

Hi Anthiadon,

I've given him enough chances & even try to work things out but i guess it is really difficult at this point of time unless somebody can get him wake up his mind.

Don't bother trying. You are only making yourself feel that you are the one at fault for being unable to salvage the relationship, despite the fact that he is the one who committed adultery.

Be brave, divorce him, and walk away without looking back. Never ever pity him even if he comes back to you seeking for help - Such a man is not worth your time.

And remember one thing. YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT. You did nothing wrong. Thus, don't stress yourself up over someone who is not even worth your breath.

Holygodz SG

Be brave.

Gd Luck

spade1 SG

Hey TS,

thanks for your story - can we know what attracted you to your husband in the 1st place and how it all started or how you got together? How on earth does he even have the brains to say share husband, and possibly think that you'll accept? He sounds like the ultimate MCP... was he always like that and that was probably what you fell for?

maxsee SG

I personally feel tat u should just move on with ur life and file for divorce, giving birth to the child is right since the child is innocent.....engage a PI if u need...i can recommend u one if u are really interested......U need evidence in the court if u want to sue ur husband for committing adultery....else u can only settle for unreasonable behaviour.....i would suggest tat u claim for both child maintenance and maintenance for ur ownself.....it would be foolish of u to let him off just becoz he earns less then u.....Btw i have a friend who use to be in the exact same situation u are in...only difference is while u are a girl, he is a guy...his ex wife cheated on him with a caucasian...initially he would try everything to save the marriage....but in the end he realizes tat nothing could be saved and finally engage a PI to prove an adulterous case and file for divorce from his ex wife.....

Angrrry.00 SG

Hi Maxsee,

Thanks for your advice.

Yes i am still sourcing for a PI appreciate that you could provide me the contact info so that i can contact him/her. Appreciate that.

Thanks.

the Bear SG

Private Investigators?

just google Private Investigators Singapore

there's even one "catch cheating spouse" link..

in the meantime, do what Fatum has advised.. collect evidence of your contributions to the marriage.. this is to ensure you are not short-changed when the divorce proceedings start

Poolman SG

PI or no PI , this marriage is game over buddy .

Realistic yes game over if he still haven't wake up .

If u are awake , keep the baby ... first and the most important .

Then u can go straight to the lawyer , when he admitted all , he is ready to seperate , no need waste money .

U all can still talk , see if things can get better .

Still got hope ......

Don't give up just yet , see if he can wake up in time .

Until really really really cannot liao , then for the sake of everybody , each go each own's way .

Too bad the child became the victim of 2 selfish acts . Initiate by 1 selfish idiot , eat liao clean mouth and go home dun wan , still want to keep the utensils .

Eat which men never eat before ? Most men did la for god's sake .

Most men eat liao clean mouth , make sure no stain , sayonara and go home . Where got continue overnight leftover ?

Tmr i will find new food , last night taste liao , must find a better taste tonight .

Your husband is pathetically portraying an image we men doesn't like .

the Bear SG

you speak for yourself..

there are a lot of men who don't even harbour thought of being unfaithful...

there will be some who will be unfaitful of course..

but keeping it from the wife, doesn't mean the man did not go screw around..

whatever you call it, it is still a betrayal of trust.. it is adultery.. and that, no matter what, even if it is visiting a prostitute or a one-night stand, is grounds for a divorce which there is no defense against

but back to the TS...

go get a good PI so that there is no doubt during the proceedings.. the guy cannot deny it even if he wants to..

hopefully, you'll find happiness in the future...

lisa nicole SG

Keep his smses as well ... they might come in handy.

Angrrry.00 SG

Hi Jojobeach,

Initally i was trying to save the marriage for the sake of our unborn child cos i do understand it is not easy for a child to grow up from a single parent family therefore i tried to work things out with him. But apparently, i guess thing are getting out of hand and he is getting very insane with the stupid request to share husband and he dosen't even feel remorseful on all his stupid acts.

Right now, i totally give up to reconcile with him anymore. I've a PI which I am trying to engage him to take up my case.

Thank you so much for your advice.

What exactly is it you are trying to hold on to ?

You are desperately grasping at air.

You cannot force him to love you , just as you cannot force him to love the unborn child.

Take whatever material compensation you can get from him.

Plan a future minus this unfaithful man. The reason he stray from a normal marriage is not your fault, he is the one that's broken inside.

Let the other woman pick up his dirty socks and underwear. Let her do his lame ass biddings.

Don't let this man and ignorant mistress take away your self-esteem. You are capable of living your own happy life.

mancha SG

If he do not deny having a mistress, and readily admit it, you can save your money. No need to hire a PI. Adultery or infidelity is not a criminal offence where you need proof. Divorce is a private pettition for the dissolution of a marriage on grounds of irretrieval break down of marriage. You only have to tell the judge that you can't stand him anymore. That's all that is required. A lawyer would do that best for you.

The PI of course will not reject business, but if he is honest would advise you to save your money. You can take your own photographs, and give your own testimony.

Use the money for the lawyer.

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