Relationships are shallow for a reason. Almost all relationships
are based on love; self-love. If you have nothing to bring to the
table, you are not welcome. It is true for colleagues, bosses,
lovers, siblings, friends, medical staff, politicians etc.
Basically everyone, and debatable parents. We can easily see this
from the way we persuade people. More often than not, we are
looking after our own interests but we will appeal to them by
magnifying their advantages.
colleagues and bosses - self explanatory
siblings - only appears when your help is needed
friends - mutual interests
medical staff - they are not there to help you, but to help
themselves, to further their careers.
politicians - "we are not a welfare state"
Parents - debatable but fundamentally an investment to guard
against old age esp powerful tool when faced with "we are not a
welfare state".
Lovers
While guys and girls especially girls, go on and on and on about
"love". We can actually observe that the only "love" is
self-love.
1) When you talk about "mei liang xin", it signifies a desire to
obtain something in return, which translate to investment (own
interest).
2) Typical indicators of love places the person at the receiving
end of things. e.g. gifts, attention
3) While saying "love" is the most important part of a
relationship is romantic and very sexy and appealing, we can
observe that when it is time to crunch the numbers*, more emphasis
is placed on rational factors like income, age, education, ability
to earn, health etc.
In most cases, love is an rational decision likened to
economics. i.e. How to grab the most out of this life before we
drop dead.
"It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer or
the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to
their own self interest. We address ourselves, not to their
humanity but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our own
necessities but of their advantages." (Adam Smith)
* the numbers refer to a rating system in which the prospective
partner is given a score on his/her characteristics. e.g. looks,
money, behaviour etc. IMO, its impt to know what are you looking
for in the r/s and which factor is the most impt.
your list is very accurate..except for the parents/children one.
there are indeed parents who gave birth so that they could be taken
care of in their old age, but there are a minority, i think say 20
to 30 per cent who don't have this mentality. I personally spoke to
some aunts and uncles, and asked them if they expect my cousins to
support them financially in their old age, and if thats why they
had kids. They said no..all in earnesty.
They say parenthood in itself is joy. to hear someone call you
'daddy', and interesting thing to me they said was that, to them
having children is to leave "a legacy" in this world, before you
leave the world as opposed to letting your possessions and what
material achievements you accumulated eg career success, your
house. I mean its quite a joke to expect that expensive designer
chair or a BMW you bought to be your idea of your legacy in the
world. What's a good legacy? Kids of course, your offspring.