Indian Guy, PRC Girl

Eiizumi SG

Find a common ground...

Like Jurong East Roti Prata done by Orang Cina... Yum!

Fugazzi SG

It is nigh impossible for one to see another as a person or human being when one sees oneself as for eg, a chinese,indian, buddhist or even a teacher, student or what have you.

If one were to read TS's posting - ........ (and so many others) one is lost in roles and identities, & personalities. Without transcending these in oneself its not going to happen lar.

However, if one is cognizant that one is attached to or identifies with roles and personalities - there is hope lar.

The question that he (and many) may want to answer is this: Do i see my boss as a person, do i see my mother as a person, do i see the cleaner or the coffee shop assistant as a person?

When only sees a particular person or relates to this person or sees this person as a human being the motive cancels out his/her humanity. one is simply unconcious or one is being hypocritical. One is disconnected from oneself (Being) and the existential experience of living is by and large spasmodic.

mancha SG

"It is nigh impossible for one to see another as a person or human being when one sees oneself as ....."

The troubles in the world, between nations, between societies, and between individuals begins with labeling.

Infer that the other is of a sub-category it would then be easier to dismiss or annihilate that category. It begins with apartheid.

TS and the PRC has done well in they did socialise with each other, dispite their differences, and did not seek grounds for segregation.

flapdoodle SG

FT love in SG. GO back to their country become like novel, movie, maybe Bollywood movie next story?

Awesomeazing SG

So... we had a nice long romantic date - and basically just talked for 7+ hours... (extremely unusual experience)

only thing is she doesn't seem willing to initiate stuff.. if i hold her hand, she responds.. if i ask her to dance, shes ok... if i mention future plans together, she agrees... but nothing from her side..

should i *again* be the one to ask for another date? isn't that kinda needy and weird... on the other hand, isnt it childish to play such mind games? <confused>

noahnoah SG

i suggest Ts bring that girl to sentosa and start dancing

behind some big coconut tress , maybe she

will love that...

Stimulatedfib SG

only thing is she doesn't seem willing to initiate stuff..

We're Asians... girls usually (though getting less and less these days) are shy to initiate stuff... and she's PRC, no less.

Me simply 'generally speaking'. For your specific case, it's up to you to study her.

Awesomeazing SG

hmm... well ...

I guess I'm just not used to it ...

I'm thinking: i'll call her and set up a date .. and then at the end of the evening, I'll let her know that ill be waiting for her call to set up the next one ...

Fugazzi SG

Poetic mood lar - enjoy the trip, the highs. if u do not want to spoil things, simply relate , just relate and forget about tomorrow. It is uncertainty, it is insecure - but it is worth every second.

The heart of love wants eternity - the mind, sadly interprets wrongly and wants permanency.

Make it permanent - u kill love, the other is reduced to a thing. I do not want to go on elaborating cos in my previous posting here i had.

Fugazzi SG

Always changin, always evolving - that is what an alive relationship is. It is river-like: flowing, ever-fresh. It has climates, many moods. It is uncertain and always full of suprises. A dead relationship, like a pond remains stagnant and smells, is stale. It is repetitive, it is the same, but then it is no more a relationship. Then it is no longer two persons, but two things together. Of course, two things never quarrel. The quarrel arises when two alive persons enter.

TheMissus SG

hmm... well ...

I guess I'm just not used to it ...

I'm thinking: i'll call her and set up a date .. and then at the end of the evening, I'll let her know that ill be waiting for her call to set up the next one ...

Maybe you can send her a text after you send her home, to ask her how the date went on her part and also to say you had a great time. This is to lay the foundation for setting up the next date. From her response you can gauge how well she enjoyed herself and the level of your chances. It's also important for you to send that sms, it's only gentlemanly. Good luck.

Stimulatedfib SG

Eh, why I last time send SMS get nothing back de ah? =X

Fugazzi SG

One who is looking for something will always be missing it.

Seeing is just clarity eyes open, mind open, heart open. Not looking for something in particular; just ready and receptive. Whatsoever happens, one remains alert, receptive, understanding. Conclusion is not there! Conclusion has yet to come: by one's own eyes one will see - and there will be a conclusion. The conclusion is in the future. When you are seeing, the conclusion is not already there. When one is looking, the conclusion is already there. And one goes on interpreting according to one's ideas.

A joke (parable):

A child is reading a pictorial book on wild life, and he is intrigued with the pixs of lions. He reads whatsoever is there, but one question is unanswered there, so he asks his mother.

'Mom, what type of love-life do lions have?'

'Son, I don't know much about Lions cos all your father's friends are Rotarians

If one has some idea in the mind, it is bound to corrupt what IS. Then one is not listening to what is being said -- then one is listening according to Oneself ( one's mind interpretation of ... ). Then one is playing an active role. When one is looking, mind is active. When one seeing, mind is passive. That is the difference. When one is looking, mind is trying to manipulate. When one is seeing, mind a placid lake -- mind is open to What IS, with no idea in particular to enforce on reality(WHAT IS).

jojobeach SG

So... we had a nice long romantic date - and basically just talked for 7+ hours... (extremely unusual experience)

should i *again* be the one to ask for another date? isn't that kinda needy and weird... on the other hand, isnt it childish to play such mind games? <confused>

Does responding to you and agreeing to you means nothing ?

What are you expecting from her ? Throw her body at you and declares to the world how much she worship you ? Get real brother !!

You are the man, you take the lead. If a woman follows, you be counting your blessings.

"should i *again* be the one to ask for another date? isn't that kinda needy and weird... on the other hand, isnt it childish to play such mind games?" <---- this is your EGO talking.

A woman wants to be pursued.

You want a big ego or you want a relationship ? Ya can't have it both ways.

Fugazzi SG

Where love is - there are two nothingness - two souls in unison.

When ego is - this 'tip-toeing' stance lar - the fear of the ego's death

In being somebody(ego) one misses, in being nothing one arrives!

TheMissus SG

Eh, why I last time send SMS get nothing back de ah? =X

Means the gal dunch like you.. =P

The sms is quite important, even guys tell me that supposedly thats their 'trick'.

Stimulatedfib SG

Means the gal dunch like you.. =P

The sms is quite important, even guys tell me that supposedly thats their 'trick'.

Sure or not...... or is it that time you too lazy to reply me back? =X

Awesomeazing SG

Hey

TheMissus - thanks for the sms "trick" - actually this was my second date with her and I got it exactly by doing the sms thing ;)

Jojobeach - I understand what you're saying.. just struggling to draw the line between self-respect and ego... meh! im gonna ask her out again tomorrow ;)

fugazzi - I get your point about projecting my own ideas upon sitautions.. ill try not to over-analyze things i guess and just go with the flow.. but its hard! lol

Stimulatedfib - unfortunately , she probably doesnt like you - every chick who has ever had a thing for me has always replied to all my sms\missed calls etc.

AndrewPKYap SG

Ok...

first post here :)

I'm a 26 y old guy from India. I'm well educated and very well traveled. I hold a decent job and am a Singapore PR.

I recently met this beautiful 24 y old girl from China and have been on a few very enjoyable dates with her. She's well educated, smart and funny.We get along quite well as beside good looks she also has the ability to hold a meaningful conversation - a combination which I've had difficulty finding thus far.

I just wanted to know more about what to expect if we keep traveling down this road...

1) Expected Dating ettiquette for PRC Chinese women? - is it cool to date multiple people at the same time? how "slow" or "fast" is one expected to move in terms of physical relations?[ok that sounds like a question a 13 year old might ask .. lol]

2)Image of Indian people in the minds of the Chinese: this differs vastly across countries, depending on the local populations exposure to (what is usually) a single strata of Indian society. What is the image of indian people for a chinese? how would her family likely take it?

I understand that these are personal questions that differ by the family and are perhaps best directed at the girl herself. In due time I will do just that. For now, some general guidance would be helpful.

Thanks :)

As a Singaporean, I can't really claim to know how PRC girls think and also China is so big, it would depend on where she comes from as well.

You need to get to know the person. That is what dating is for, to get to know her.

frosterbeer SG

Ok...

first post here :)

I'm a 26 y old guy from India. I'm well educated and very well traveled. I hold a decent job and am a Singapore PR.

I just wanted to know more about what to expect if we keep traveling down this road...

Thanks :)

ettiquette or not, as long one is gentlemen enough would do just the trick. In anycase most PRC ettiquette are disturbingly associated with "how much money spent"

Trust me, you do not want to know what chinese ppl think about indians. they dun even know that indians are good with Cricket!

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