Siblings

last SG · 2009-07-22T12:58:18+00:00

I dun think u will ever understand I probably cant.I am afterall, just a big sister.

Fugazzi SG

Whatever that is transpiring at home in the family, u and your sister - no is privy to all the incidents and events lar.

My suggestion - let it go lar and heart never lies - being wise is far more better than being rite lar.

As for your sister, if u feel that she is using ... (u fill up lah) to get what she wants - it will come around sooner, i mean the come uppance When one lives accidentally, the essential will surface and that is the predicament of many relationships, family and even at work place lar.

Perhaps, the unlearning is happening lah(unconsciously) or has to happen cos its apparent that all that has been learnt and acquired is only causing strife, misery and unhappiness.

Jeanwoo SG

Am I?

I wonder who was it, that despite being so near, does not even borther to pay visits to families. Except to call them for transport and nannying services.

And who was it, that suggest to her younger brother, to cut off credit cards, to prove independance, and basically make a prat of himself.

Who was it, that believes that her mother is only other people's mother, or for that matter, in text, expressed that her father is other people's father only.

Yes. I am estranged from the family, but at least I fighted with them.

There is another form of estrangement, where people get rid of their relations, claiming distance & being busy, or whatever hate they have for their relationships. But have no qualms kicking people out as and when they pleases.

Or should I mention, that using the excuses of children, to get what they want, by means of quarralling.

Someone just send me a message. It says: People who loves you, will stay back to quarral with you.

People who don't, they just kick you aside when they have used you enough. Or they leave you when they are done with you.

At least I am estranged with fights involved.

BTW, the family does know the truth.

We fight, we always return to help those in need. There is only two person among us. That uses those help, then kick everyone away the moment help is no longer needed. Or abuses other people emotionally & verbally whenever there is a chance.

And that person is mummy and you.

You can accuse me all you like. Ask yourself first what you had done to make everyone want to kick you out.

viciouskitty74 SG

You can accuse me all you like. Ask yourself first what you had done to make everyone want to kick you out.

I did, and its exactly what you does so well too.

So might I suggest that since everyone of this family does this so well. Its so much better that you learn to manage things yourself and keep your mouth as shut as possible regarding how other people should live with you, or live their lives.

Be it your siblings or your spouse. Especially since you arent planning to be preparing to sustain them better for 12 months at least, in any future?

As mentioned, Enriching You are NOT.

viciouskitty74 SG

viciouskitty74,

Perhaps, the unlearning is happening lah(unconsciously) or has to happen cos its apparent that all that has been learnt and acquired is only causing strife, misery and unhappiness.

Actually, my complaints isnt about causing strife, misery or unhappiness.

My complaints is more towards, there are SUCH siblings that causes strife, misery and unhappiness.

And venting it out here, and seeing the guilty party pretending discreetion, is more a manner of losing the respect for such a sibling causing strife, misery and unhappiness just because the siblings want to get a heck out of it, and forgetting that there will one day be karma on herself, where eventually, there will be days where she can be kicked out. Especially with what she is doing now will surely reap 'benefits' in time to come.

BotaHead SG

Favoritism does happen in the family when some parent has too many kids and yet they cant provide enough for all.

so they will pick the one that they think is the smartest one (bias one) to provide the resources they have in order to make that kid successful and do them proud at the expense of the other children they have.

when the not so fortunate one is young then nothing they can do except at the mercy of the parent. but when they grow up. they are independent enough and are free to do what they want and this is the time they can build the life they wanted to be.

After all, sibling will eventually have thier own family and will no longer be seeing each other as often as before. after all, parents will eventually grow old and pass away. u will be a long again.

Letting it go is the key, sad family pass is a heavy burden to be carried along. why not concentrate on what u wanna do now and leave the pass burden behind and you will be much more happier.

Fantagf SG

Family matters can be real pain in the neck. It is most of the time never ending stories.

noahnoah SG

me hardly got time to talk to my

family members

when i around they out

when they in me out

me never had home cook dinner

for 7 months

Fantagf SG

me hardly got time to talk to my

family members

when i around they out

when they in me out

me never had home cook dinner

for 7 months

nvr mind , that means you busy man earning lots of $$

dangerboi SG

Go find a social worker to solve your family problems. Posting on this forum and heeding advices from both the good, the bad and the evil will merely worsen your situation.

jojobeach SG

Yikes, sibling rivalry is an ugly business.

VK,

What kind of "enrichment" are you expecting from your sis ?

So you are mad at her for not "enriching" you ?

I don't get it .

I have a sibling, but I don't ask him to "enrich" me.

viciouskitty74 SG

Yikes, sibling rivalry is an ugly business.

VK,

What kind of "enrichment" are you expecting from your sis ?

So you are mad at her for not "enriching" you ?

I don't get it .

I have a sibling, but I don't ask him to "enrich" me.

Nope, I am not mad at her not enriching me. If I am still not wrong. Her idea of enriching involves $$$. It is understood that she 'enriches' her family by giving them $$$.

And that amount of $$$ usually is about only enough to cover a person's costs, but never a person's worth. Nor was there any actions that compensated to pay off other's peoples help. Not even a thank you ever pass out her mouth.

You know....the 'ai chee, ai pee & mien gong gum xia'

I am mad at her enriching people's life with advises which are about as useful as telling you shitting your pants is good manners. And when you do shit your pants, your sibling merely walk away from you and giggling?

Does your sibling stayed to help clean you up or at least try to find you a pair of pants to change into? Or simply throw you $0.10 cents to get to the toliet and tell you to get out of her presence?

~~~

Oh yah, I think I know why there is sibling rivalry.

She after all gave what $20+k to mummy. All her hard earned savings.

I gave $35k to mummy recently.

I do think it kinda unbalanced her a bit. It used to be her always trying to tell me about how she gave $$$ to mummy. But somehow, the last few months, she stop telling me about it.

Heck......that must be it! My sister is now jealous of me, because I am free and single, no need to pay this and that, no need to ask people for $$$ for this and that. And that I do not listen to her advising me NOT to shave my head for charity.

Its properly somethings that she cannot control. Therefore, she is picking fights & acting to her biatchy personality again. Which incidently is what the our mummy does best and its definitely genetic.

And for that matter. Did it confuse you about asking? Did I confuse you about asking my siblings to 'enrich' me?

So if I did not request to be 'enriched'. Did it justify people forcing their 'enrichment's on me?

jojobeach SG

Nope, I am not mad at her not enriching me. If I am still not wrong. Her idea of enriching involves $$$. It is understood that she 'enriches' her family by giving them $$$.

You know....the 'ai chee, ai pee & mien gong gum xia'

Does your sibling stayed to help clean you up or at least try to find you a pair of pants to change into? Or simply throw you $0.10 cents to get to the toliet and tell you to get out of her presence?

~~~

Oh yah, I think I know why there is sibling rivalry.

She after all gave what $20+k to mummy. All her hard earned savings.

I gave $35k to mummy recently.

I do think it kinda unbalanced her a bit. It used to be her always trying to tell me about how she gave $$$ to mummy. But somehow, the last few months, she stop telling me about it.

And for that matter. Did it confuse you about asking? Did I confuse you about asking my siblings to 'enrich' me?

So if I did not request to be 'enriched'. Did it justify people forcing their 'enrichment's on me?

Oh ok. So you are angry at her because she never say "thank you". correct ?

I don't quite get the shit in your pants part. If she ask you to shit in your pants, why you go and shit in your pants ?

I mean even if my own sibling ask me to jump down the ocean, I also won't be so stupid to do as he say , no ? Unless you are refering to something else lah.

You know ah.. siblings always want to give siblings "ideas" lah.. if you don like then don do lor... you get so mad with her just because she gives you ideas ? Like that too petty lah.

Why get mad over such trivial things ? Live you life and let her be lah.

EarlNeo SG

if ur relationship with sibling aint good.... it ish easier just to stay out of each other path..... and just meet up on holidays and occassion.....

some say... blood is thicker then water.....

others.... just sharing of DNA.....

after all, do wat is needed to make life easier, not the other way rnd.... be it for them or oneself. selective hearing and speaking helps in a long run.

Truth are sometime too hurtful when spoken from someone related.... better to just tuck it away....

Even ugly sight can be delightful if u paint it with a colourful eye.....

Forbiddensinner SG

Go find a social worker to solve your family problems. Posting on this forum and heeding advices from both the good, the bad and the evil will merely worsen your situation.

A social worker will need all the family members to sit down and talk it out with all of them.

Given that it is impossible for that to happen, a counselling forum ( Which sgforums obviously is not, with the hugh amount of crappy ideas given all the time ) is the next best thing available.

But currently, Viciouskitty is just letting some steam out, so let her be. I don't think she is in need of any counselling, as there is no way any words from us is going to help her solve her internal family strife.

viciouskitty74 SG

Oh ok. So you are angry at her because she never say "thank you". correct ?

I don't quite get the shit in your pants part. If she ask you to shit in your pants, why you go and shit in your pants ?

I mean even if my own sibling ask me to jump down the ocean, I also won't be so stupid to do as he say , no ? Unless you are refering to something else lah.

You know ah.. siblings always want to give siblings "ideas" lah.. if you don like then don do lor... you get so mad with her just because she gives you ideas ? Like that too petty lah.

Why get mad over such trivial things ? Live you life and let her be lah.

No. I got mad at her for telling me not to shave my head for charity.

And since I do not comply. She used another family issue, to suggest I was emotional and unstable.

Thats why I got mad.

I've since pointed out to her, that whatever emotional issues she is trying to place on my head, isnt justified.

But me getting emotionally angry with her. I am telling everyone here, how justified I felt it is.

Get it?

viciouskitty74 SG

Anyway, on the same subject of siblings.

I have a half sister, which I already promised some help should she really need to further her studies and the parents can't supply.

Is it reasonable? To standby some $$$ for her, for her further studies?

And where or who should I go, to administer those $$$ when I die?

Jeanwoo SG

Reading through all your rants in this thread, how can I not deduce that you are indeed emotionally unstable. All your comments are direct reflection of your own insecurities.

You keep thinking that your siblings are trying to compete with you in everything. You can choose to believe it or not, we are just trying to live a better life for ourselves. Yet you see all our achievements as a challenge to you.

Shutting you out of our life is our only defense against your abusive behavior whenever you don't get your way. You can only reap what you sow.

You can justify whatever anger you have against me. I have done nothing wrong to hurt you, other than disagreeing with what you had done to yourself and to others around you.

This will be my last post. For I see no purpose in washing my family's dirty laundry in this forum.

viciouskitty74 SG

Reading through all your rants in this thread, how can I not deduce that you are indeed emotionally unstable. All your comments are direct reflection of your own insecurities.

Shutting you out of our life is our only defense against your abusive behavior whenever you don't get your way. You can only reap what you sow.

You can justify whatever anger you have against me. I have done nothing wrong to hurt you, other than disagreeing with what you had done to yourself and to others around you.

This will be my last post. For I see no purpose in washing my family's dirty laundry in this forum.

Argh yes.....that I am competing to live your lifestyle?

So thats your explanation about how you abuse your family to get your way?

I dont know who has been more competitive with the: 'I am not estranged from the the family, she is' kinda statement.

And I think more then someone obviously missed the point about 'siblings rivalry' then.

I really would not mind my family cutting me out for my abusive & emotional state especially since those abusive & emotional state was so purely 'unprovoked'.

Dirty laundry? One only call it dirty laundry, when one has so many dirty stuff to hide. I've never felt anything about my family nor how my parents or siblings are ugly.

It always have been their behaviour is dirty. And I for one, does not think dirty laundry should not be washed, aired and clean up.

Or are you refering to the fact that your own dirty laundry should not be bought up and discussed by others other then yourself?

viciouskitty74 SG

You can justify whatever anger you have against me. I have done nothing wrong to hurt you, other than disagreeing with what you had done to yourself and to others around you.

Like done what? Besides hinting here and there that a person has done wrong, is abusive, is emotionally unstable or is mentally unstable.

I so far never seen that you actually care to name the deeds. But hey, since you refused to 'air up dirty laundry'.

So the world will never know the deeds hor.

Quite clever, and it obviously works well for you. Unfortunately it does not for me. Because I do not fancy anymore, to be accused and be used as scrapegoat for another person's bad behaviour inlcuding yours, irrespective about what 'depression' you were still suffering from.

Juliedified SG

Was she traumatized when she was young?

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