Siblings

last SG · 2009-07-22T12:58:18+00:00

I dun think u will ever understand I probably cant.I am afterall, just a big sister.

viciouskitty74 SG

Was she traumatized when she was young?

Probably, was she the only one ever in this world that has been traumatised, while the rest of the siblings live in heavenly innocence?

Juliedified SG

Probably, was she the only one ever in this world that has been traumatised, while the rest of the siblings live in heavenly innocence?

viciouskitty, I respectfully agree that everyone of us is not having a good time either. However, one of both sides has to compromise. By compromising, it is not subjecting yourself under the mercy of your sibling, but to talk with her and find out what makes her that way.

My brother was an ass too. After a couple of physical fighting and yellings, we sat down and talked it through; apparently, he had issues which I never took notice of.

Correct, her sometimes unfathomable behaviour is the last straw but blood is thicker than water. One act of kindness might not amount to anything for her but the constant care and understanding might just mellow the hard edge in her.

Some people are not good with talking, while some resort to ways to get noticed. I do not think that she feels "really good" for trampling on the people who are close to her. And why the people who really matter to her, get hurted?

viciouskitty, I know it is hard on you. I agree that respect has to be earned and with the things going, it is daunting. But going ballistic with each other over certain, unsolved issues would only deepen the misunderstanding.

Take one step at a time. Be with her in spirit.

Stay strong. I hope you and sister would reconcile the differences, because in a family, there is no animosity; just sprinkle on it with some good ol' fashioned "care", "love", "understanding" and "tolerance".

Whatever happens, stay cool.

I hope the sisterly relationship would mend for both of you.

Friends cannot be there all the times, but family would always be there for you.

Good luck and please take care.

viciouskitty74 SG

There isnt any misunderstanding.

I understand her and our mothers well enough. To the point of even predicting their actions before it happens.

And since my sister is happily married to USA. I can't see her building up her biatchiness.

But her general lines looking for fights are always peppered with: "You, you, you, you & you."

Whenever her messenger sentences starts with anything with 'You'. Its very obvious she is looking only to say her piece.

Or her general comments will be like: Are you drunk? You must be drunk. And the last reply to such a accusation was: No, its 2+pm here in Phuket Thailand, I am drunking mugs of Earl Grey Tea with honey.

I have never, cut off my family of siblings whenever they needed help. Most often, they are the ones that put pride and grudges in their way when they could have gotten help so easily.

And most times, even after I offered help, they accuse me of having ulterior motives or that I am acting damn ya ya, just because I 'think I am big papayah, because I know police or legal issues.'

It has often gotten to the point, where I won't even answer to them, just so they can have their rants, and I at the end of the day, I become their faults.

I can be loyal, but I wont stand for unfairness they will commit to other people just because I am loyally quiet to my own siblings.

Juliedified SG

But her general lines looking for fights are always peppered with: "You, you, you, you & you."

Whenever her messenger sentences starts with anything with 'You'. Its very obvious she is looking only to say her piece.

And most times, even after I offered help, they accuse me of having ulterior motives or that I am acting damn ya ya, just because I 'think I am big papayah, because I know police or legal issues.'

It has often gotten to the point, where I won't even answer to them, just so they can have their rants, and I at the end of the day, I become their faults.

I can be loyal, but I wont stand for unfairness they will commit to other people just because I am loyally quiet to my own siblings.

Forgive me if I edit the abovementioned to a compact post.

I highlighted the bold parts.

I am not good at interpreting thoughts but are there some minor things being overlooked?

1st highlighted part - she does not want to talk about what goes on in her own life and the only way she can divert the attention on her is by calling your name (amongst the others) out?

2nd highlighted part - erm, was there some competitiveness thing going on between you guys during teens?

3rd highlighted part - maybe adopting a more forthcoming approach would help? Being loyal is one thing but when there is a need to address an issue, taking the silent approach is likely to stifle honest dialogues.

I hope I am not sounding offensive.

viciouskitty74 SG

1) Oh yah, even when she isnt suppose to be stressed, there somehow always seem to have some small bit of stuff that she has an excuse to blow her top about and calling it stress.

2) if there is competition, its not a competition I ever tot I can win.Looks I lose, cleverness I lose, ability to make friends I lose.

So if there is competition, its probably in her head.

3) Forthcoming approach dont work on her. She smells its far ahead. I swear, she has the nose of fox. When its someone's problem, she 'lovingly offers "advice"'.

When its her own problems, she will vebally attack you first, then steer everyone way clear of discussing her. Which at the end of the day, makes her the champion while everyone owes her for her 'advises & instructions'.

Juliedified SG

If things fail to explain for themselves, I hope that the relationship is repairable through times.

Things do not stay the same; that applies to an individual's thinking when circumstance changes.

I hope things would go well with you and your sister.

Have faith.

Ptky1010 SG

TC, i can relate to your topic and i understand exactly how you feel.

I'll make this short as i have to rush for my lunch.

Smiliar to your story, i have a sister that is almost like a carbon copy of yours, her attitude outside is 'tailored' to be perfect. but yet at home she's like a tyrant. She shows no respect at all to my silbings or my parents. She expects things to be done her way, and if she wants things from us she'll talk nicer and stuff.. makes me sick really.

Maybe it's like a social diease or sumthing, there is something mentally wrong with her mind, she keep thinking that my family is bias, she keep thinking that my parents treat their son better than their daughter.

*i have 2 sister 1 younger brother*

which isn't true. Anyway will elaborate more when i get back from lunch.

*Agreed silbing rivary isn't something that can kiss and make up in 1 day*

Hate is too strong a word.. but somewhere inbetween there.

viciouskitty74 SG

Oh, my family is biased all right.

Definitely more for the youngest son then anything, Us elder sisters is dispensable or disposable, or in actual fact, good enough to provide $$$ but not good enough for anything else.

What I was pissed off about is, that my sister accused my mother of sowing discord amond the children so she can reap benefits for herself. A bit of the divide and conquer tactic.

What my sister however does, is the same thing, even though she hated our mother's tactics so much.

And yah, she acts the tyrant because she was the 'traumatised emotionally abused party' in the family. And she accuses others that is older or in a better authority of being controlling and abusive.

jojobeach SG

Tsk tsk tsk..jeanwoo, ye should be ashamed of yerself girl.

Such bitchiness is really bad for the economy.

Becareful ye will be condemned to hell for such unruly behavior.

Yer sista gave so much for the family, and yet ye comes here and maligned her in public forum.

Shame shame... ye be careful ya ? Heaven got eyes de !!

jojobeach SG

Oh, my family is biased all right.

Definitely more for the youngest son then anything, Us elder sisters is dispensable or disposable, or in actual fact, good enough to provide $$$ but not good enough for anything else.

What I was pissed off about is, that my sister accused my mother of sowing discord amond the children so she can reap benefits for herself. A bit of the divide and conquer tactic.

What my sister however does, is the same thing, even though she hated our mother's tactics so much.

And yah, she acts the tyrant because she was the 'traumatised emotionally abused party' in the family. And she accuses others that is older or in a better authority of being controlling and abusive.

VK, just ignore that bitch lah.

Saints like you are hard to come by. Since she is in USA, you don have to giv a hoot about her .. GOOD RIDDENCE !!!

Now , focus on your healin. Ya ?

viciouskitty74 SG

*snort*

Thank you jojo.

HarisZXC SG

HYPOCRITE!

elinda SG

HYPOCRITE!

Absolutely right.

Someone who comes to a forum to start a thread critising her sister absolutely shows what a hypocrite and childish person she is

viciouskitty74 SG

Absolutely right.

Someone who comes to a forum to start a thread critising her sister absolutely shows what a hypocrite and childish person she is

For someone who comes to various forums to critisize the government, verbally abuses others on the forums.....is any better person?

Especially most like, this same person does not even have the courage to show face and even tell others who he is, for fear of being dragged onto the street for sound trashing by fellas who dislikes roaches......

I can see where the mother and father of such a person did their job as parents.

Kutter SG

Absolutely right.

Someone who comes to a forum to start a thread critising her sister absolutely shows what a hypocrite and childish person she is

Hey kid, stop it.

viciouskitty74 SG

Hey kid, stop it.

if he is your son.

What will you do?

*hypothetically typing*

Meat Bao SG

It's not healthy for you to keep this kind of bad relations.

My suggestion is to spend more time with her / them / family.

Just slowly adjust it and morph it.

Ersfcvxcv2 SG

i suck my brother

viciouskitty74 SG

Am in a pissed off mood now.

Someone on this forum, have behaved exactly as how my sister have behaved.

Same ole shitz lah.

They ask question, I answered as patiently as possible.

And that person, more or less used that information to boost his/her confidence and goes around trying to act the intelligient person and telling people down.

And when I mention how I am not happy about that kind of attitude.

That person then act angry, saying I am not much better then the mud on his/her shoes and that I should watch myself.

So now, I am seriously pissed off.

Those attitude, I only allow from people I really care and loved. But since this person want to throw it in my face.

I dont think its necessary to be polite and patient.

You know who you are. So I take it that being frank, direct and mean to you, should be the correct attitude to be given to your kind of scums.

seyKai SG

Am in a pissed off mood now.

Someone on this forum, have behaved exactly as how my sister have behaved.

Same ole shitz lah.

They ask question, I answered as patiently as possible.

And that person, more or less used that information to boost his/her confidence and goes around trying to act the intelligient person and telling people down.

And when I mention how I am not happy about that kind of attitude.

That person then act angry, saying I am not much better then the mud on his/her shoes and that I should watch myself.

So now, I am seriously pissed off.

Those attitude, I only allow from people I really care and loved. But since this person want to throw it in my face.

I dont think its necessary to be polite and patient.

You know who you are. So I take it that being frank, direct and mean to you, should be the correct attitude to be given to your kind of scums.

sibling rivalry happens all the time

postin here shows only the lack of tolerance on your side

I do beliv she is 1 ppl in this world you care most

talk it out n share your heart, blood is still thicker than water

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