How can I make my hubby love me more?

Airborne2 SG

Who wants to work through the weekends and neglect his newly wed wife? Not unless he love his work more than you, otherwise, its simple its for you.

what are the reasons for him doing so? Do you have a plan?

What are his options?

What are his needs now and looking forward?

What do you want to do about it?

What can you do about it?

Who is in the best position to give you the answers?

Regards

Darkness_hacker99 SG

Don't disturbed him.

When he gives you an answer already, that it. It's the answer from you. Since that he has already told you it's not about you, then take it.

Try to cheer him up (especially in this time) and tell him that you'll be there for him no matter what. Give him your support when he needs it. Try cooking some dishes for him.

***Seriously*** Cook something for him!!!! Show him some love~ by making some effort in learning or cooking something for him =DD Girl who can cook meals are homely. You learn some cooking, learn some desert, learn some snacks etc hao ma?

Your man is busy working leh - he wants to concentrate working. He seems not responding well, but he does loves you. :) Maybe one day out of the blue, he will priase your cooking skills.

Ahhh!! Tabo-Alert!!!!
Never Never pester him about your cooking skills. Because it irks guys. When it's nice, he'll tell you it's nice. When it's bad, he might give you suggestion (AND PLease take note).

Pappygatmus SG

Thanks for your testimony, it's very encouraging to me to know that some other men have experienced this before... why didn't you just marry your wife then instead of postponing the wedding, I thought after ppl marry they feel they can then focus on their career cos they have 'laid to rest' the other big part of their lives?

Yea I tried to be nice to him, tried to order food for him, and iron his clothes, but he did not respond well, just told me to leave him alone. All my frens and colleagues, who attended our wedding so recently are shocked to hear my predicament, I too felt a bit disappointed as i had dreamy hopes that my wedded life, especially in the honeymoon 1st year period would be utter bliss and totally loving and close, I met a woman thru work and she related her 1st few yrs of wedded life, before the kids came along were the best, I found myself wistfully smiling at her, not knowing what to say to her.

I'd say things were worse and have improved slightly since he came back from a work trip 2 days ago (we actually went out for a yummy seafood dinner once on the weekend after he returned, an amazing feat in the last 1.5 months). I guess he had been extra busy with the trip preparation. But I know he will continue to be stressed.

I hadn't been good at anything. So when my wife brought up the idea of marriage, I wasn't confident enough I could provide for her. I think the reason I postponed the wedding could be that I was so sure I am not good enough for her. So I thought maybe by postponing the wedding I could make her see she could have a better life with someone else. Very silly of me. Haha

Lol! Every girl had dreamy hopes for their wedding day. I remembered my mum told me that my grandma told her to think twice about marriage because life changes after that. Aside from love, financial matters and other things comes in and that was the ancient days.

Getting stressed is without doubt. It may not be my place to say this, hence no offence. See, you are married. As I mentioned above after marriage other things other than love comes in to place. However love and faith are still essential for couples to stay couples, I believe. Both of you are working, I do wonder whether you over-exert yourself too.

My advice though. Coming end of the year, if both of you have leftover leaves and cash go for an overseas trip with friends or relatives. Doesn't have to be grand, a change of environment, a time your husband know he could relax. At least for that time you could have fun with him and maybe upon getting back to work he could have some burden lifted up. Works for me, though I like travelling and my hobby is photography.

Uncertain SG

TS, I think you don't really understands man.

Man are basically practical person. They do things in a very rational manner or rather the most practical manner. This explains why he asked you to live at your parent's house cos he dun want you to feel alone and leftout. He didn't meant that you gonna live at your parent's house for months right, it is only temporary.

For a woman, as you know, are emotional person. You values emotional stability more than financial stability. However, it is very difficult for a man to juggle between work and wife, so compromise has to be reached. In this case, I believe your hubby is working hard for your future, so just tolerate through this moment. In a marriage, there are more huddles to conquer, so don't break down for such a small problem.

2cansam SG

i think you should leave him alone when he's concentrating on his work.

one thing u should never forget, however is to remind him that you are there to listen to any of his problems.

say like "if you have any problems, i wanna let you know i'm here to listen"

Pitot SG

For gods sake, he is just 1 month into his new job and it probably means alot to him since he needs to plan for his future life with you and perhaps kids.

Cut him some slack will you?

Bubblyl3 SG

TS, I think you don't really understands man.

i agree. i suggest you do some gym or some CC classes like yoga to keep yourself busy.

Example :

yoga twice a week. You will have 5 days left.

2 days => Weekend go out with friends for dinner. Join forums outing.

1 day Weekday do some houseworks.. etc.

2 days Pamper yourself with spa or massage. I sure will relax you and you feel better.

Cos these are the things we girls can do without Man around. Heehee.. he work hard. You just need to let him do what he want to do.

When he find you occupy, he won't worry so much cos he will understand you can take care of yourself and he can ease his worry. And go all out to get his career. Bare in mind, do let him know that you guy will have dinner on occussion to make up for the time.

It is not about tolerating, it is more like to make each other at ease and feel comfortable living together. When you busy you won't notice his miss out on you.

You don't need to be a xiao nu ren at home waiting for him. Make more friends hang out more.

AndrewPKYap SG

How can I make my hubby love me more?

He is now very focused and consumed by work, which I understand is necessary for men, and I don't wish to stand in his way or disturb him. I really wish I could be more self sufficient and not depend on him emotionally. I know it's very difficult to have to feel bad when you think your wife is unhappy with you not spending enough time with her.

You want your hubby to love you more, you should get a life and stop being so needy...

ShrodingersCat SG

Hmm.. actually it seems to be the opposite for me... in the sense that... I'm the one who tends to spend a lot of time at work while at home rather than my hubby.

I have to say that .. like an earlier poster say, its the small touches that he does that makes me feel very appreciative.

Such as slicing a plate of fruits and even displaying it nicely when he passes it to me while I am busy at work. Just seeing that makes me feel like its such a treat and I mentally 'relax' a little when I feel stressed. So perhaps this is a way you can help. I am sure when he feels you are trying to understand, he will appreciate it too and put in more effort towards your needs.

Perhaps what you need is to find something you can occupy yourself with too, such Marriage doesn't and shouldn't change us from adults to children. A certain amount of reliance is normal and can be reassuring - but we still need to lead our independent lives and its not fair to rely too much on our spouses for emotional happiness.

Instead of seeing what he has not done to fill up your emotional pie chart - perhaps you can see what other things you can do for yourself that can make you feel gratified and emotionally fulfilled too.

Bubblyl3 SG

You want your hubby to love you more, you should get a life and stop being so needy...

hanor hanor.. he will love you more and give you attentions. when you healthy, radiance looking and chio chio go out with friends.

Err.. be a good wife make him some ginseng tea with honey and drop him a note to ask him to drink when he is back. Like my mum when she see me busy OT come back late. She will drop a note and ask me to drink before sleep. It is care and love. He will understand.

8800 SG

How can I make my hubby love me more?

i can help you to satisfy your sexual and emotional needs so you don't have to bother your husband

Wheref SG

i can help you to satisfy your sexual and emotional needs so you don't have to bother your husband

Head to Bar section please

charlize SG

I suggest you read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

It will definitely help you understand some of the issues you might be facing.

TheMissus SG

I suggest you read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

It will definitely help you understand some of the issues you might be facing.

I heard of this book, is it really credible? Ok I will pop down to Borders later and buy

TheMissus SG

i do work also, but i am not very happy at my work place, my hubby said before that when we have kids, he prefers me to look after the kids and be a full time mom, as he doesn't trust maid, no idea why. I am older than my hubby by 2 yrs, he is 27 this yr. my job is quite stressful, but I guess i am not as driven as my hubby towards our careers. For eg, he lets his work affects his marriage, affects his home life, for me is the other way round. I let my marriage affect my work. My boss complained that I have been distracted and asked me whats wrong and whether there's something going on at home. I have allowed whatever that's troubling me get in the way of my focus at work.

i will certainly suggest a holiday with him this year end, but I worry whether he has the mood to go. money for it isn't a problem, as we have do substantial savings. my hubby wanted to put all his $ in stocks earlier this yr, and guess what he was so busy at work, that he opened a trading account and has 'no time and bandwidth' to do any trading.

I worry he won't want to go on a holiday at year end something that I think we both badly need as a couple. There was once, a few months ago, we booked a short 4 day trip already (which I paid for because he paid our honeymoon fully) and due to a disappointment he had at work, he actually told me he did not want to go on the trip anymore! I was utterly stunned and didn't know how to reconcile or comprehend his reaction. To me nothing can happen at work possibly to make me not go on my holiday which I planned and paid.

Uncertain SG

The main issue here is your hubby's mentality. He is too focused, too focused till he starts to neglect the family.

The very very first thing u need to do now is to ask him why did he wants to work so hard,is for the future?, man-must-be-top-earner-ego? want to have a successful career?

Once you identified the main reason, you should try to dissuade him to work so hard at the expense of family.

TheMissus SG

i was very upset and disappointed cos I looked forward to the short holiday so much, and I paid over $600 for it, managed to get a 1-for-1 deal at NATAS fair, it's not a huge sum but i certainly felt the pinch, to me $600 can buy a lot of months of groceries, or a lot of bags, shoes, was quite angry and upset that he can because of feeling disappointed at work, shut down from me emotionally, told me to leave him alone and refuse to speak to me, and then said dun want to go already..and he only told me he'd not be going anymore 1 day before the trip, in the end I couldn't get a refund either.

Uncertain SG

you are sad because your hushand fails to provide u the comfort when u need it most. It is understandable why you are disappointed with him.

However, you cannot coined him as uncaring because he is focused with his work. He may think making a lot of $$$ = taking care of you (at least u dun have to worry about $$$). You have to die die communicate with him to understand his motivation for working hard and not dwell over why he is not caring to me.

Nikar 3 SG

what do we have here? a lovey-dovey wife who just wants to love her man, and see how pitiful she is.

and what am i? a sweet tender guy who just want a SG wife and would spend 80% of my time with her and 10% of my time on work and 10% of my time on games.

ask yourself: Do you feel like a real woman nowadays?

if your answer is no, then seriously, PM me and we can help each other.

i can go shopping with you, have tea with you, go holiday with you, learn new things together etc.

when your hubby see liao, he jealous and want to get back together with you.

when that happens, i just exit the scene.

everybody wins!!!!!

TheMissus SG

The main issue here is your hubby's mentality. He is too focused, too focused till he starts to neglect the family.

The very very first thing u need to do now is to ask him why did he wants to work so hard,is for the future?, man-must-be-top-earner-ego? want to have a successful career?

Once you identified the main reason, you should try to dissuade him to work so hard at the expense of family.

All of the above, for now, for future, for success, he wants to be on top and beat everyone else.

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