Hey ppl, need some advice on
whether I shd enter into a relationship.
Just to clarify, I am 22 this year,
in a local uni.
I got to know this girl in
January. She is in
one of my weekly classes but we take different but
equally demanding courses. We are groupmates.
Some basic
facts/problems:
1)
She is most
likely single( her facebook profile) and from
conversations with her and her frens, there is nothing to suggest
that she is attached. And we shd proceed on the assumption that she
is not.
2)
I noticed that in many one on one photos that she took with guys,
the guy had his hand on her shoulder. However, the problem is that
the guy in the
photos are always different. In other words,
perhaps(fortunately) she does not have a superb close relationship
with any guy yet.
3)
She has many frens(both guys and gals), both within and outside
sch. I noticed that sometimes one or two guys
tend to tease her by pulling her hair when they spring from behind.
She did not seem to object.
4)
Currently, on a scale of 0-10(0 being total strangers and 10 being
the best of friends), I would rate the level of closeness between
us as 7. During exam period, I do join her for
study sessions with her group of frens (both guys and gals
included). I even had the opportunity to have lunch with her on a
couple of occasions. We talk about almost everything, but mainly
sch work, mutual frens and family.
5)
We do not really exchange smses on a daily basis. But
I try to sms her occasionally iust to keep in
touch. But sometimes I noticed she may not reply my smses( I do not
ask qns that intrude on her privacy though).
6)
I am not aware of any competitors as of yet. But this might be due
to the fact that I do not spend enough time with her to know who is
always with her (different courses, timetables and schedules).
Recently though, when I chanced upon her in sch,
she mentioned that she was on her way to meet a male fren(for
reasons unknown). She even told me who that guy was but perhaps
that was because I also know that guy although not very
close.
7) Recently, i faced
some pressing personal issues. I called her to talk to her and she
did say that I can call her anytime to talk about them. But I am
quite sure that because of her very nice character, she would have
told any other relatively good guy fren the same if they were faced
with similar problems.
8)
As mentioned before, both of us are quite busy students but I will
definitely find some time for her if I do commit to this
relationship.
9)
I have not been in any previous relationships
before and I think the same can be said of her( facebook and
Friendster testimonials/comments). The reason why I am attracted to
her is because I think she is quite attractive but most importantly
she has the qualities that I would like in a potential
gf/spouse.
So now, I am hesitant about going
all out to go after her. This is due to the fact that I am not very
comfortable with points 2 and 3. But then again, could I be too
old-fashioned and conservative? Does points 2 and 3 mean anything?
Or just the guys trying to get fresh? On a side note, is it a trend
for guys to do that(teasing and placing arms on shoulder) in a 1 on
1 photo, even when the girl is not their gf ? And would most girls
just consent to such actions?
I would appreciate any sensible and
well-intentioned advice on whether I should make my move. Thanks in
advance!!
If 2 and 3 are your only
problems, then you have no case not to go after her. She lets guys
pull her hair and so on could be because she "does not belong
to"/"is not in a relationship" with anyone.
Since you are quite close to
her, why not just ask her directly?
"Don't you find it irritating
that so and so pulled your hair?"
...and ask her directly about
boyfriends
"How is it you never introduce
me to your boyfriend?" or something like that.
Then you know.
