I can get used to anything, except a guy

Fantagf SG

Why you target [J]erry? Poor [J]erry...

Please leave the innocent alone and refrain yourself from creating any further disturbance in any of those GENUINE Aunt Agony Topics.

You must do your best to overcome those easily-agitated side-effects after consuming those Ah Kua's pills ok?

I believe you can do better and make your Mommy proud to have a child who can be both guy and girl at a flick of an underwear-switch.

ha ha ha, u the fucktard ah qua never stop to draw attention to yourself. Nobody who is normal talks like you. YOu the bitch is so damn fucking fond of sowing discord.

Wait wait for your bloody severe punishment when you arrive in hell. A bloody evil, nasty character like yours will not end up in heaven.

Dun talk cock, desker road sex worker parn, nobody likes you, you fail to get men to love you and so make yourself so pitiful to vent frustrations on the forumers here. I have enough PM from forumers here complaining to me about your bloody nuisance.

Bloody parn, just admit to us you are having severe OCD that no drs can cure you. if you so frustrated, send yourself to hell lah. KNN!

Komon SG

Relax relax

oldbreadstinks SG

However, at times , when he caught me looking totally pissed with what he said, he will say he treats me differently from other people and he sees me as his equal.

haha at least he still cares enough to make sure he said that.

But as a guy i do share some of his feelings about female co workers.

i started working under capable female managers for whom sex didn't play a part in carrying out their duties as managers. but when i switch companies i had to work with other female bosses who actually thought their places were suppose to be at home and not in the work place even though the one(s) on top choosed them to be there based on track record. this was something that influenced me to quit at at least 2 places as i didn't want to work with a female boss who blames her own sex for her shortcomings.it was demoralising to work with people who kept saying stuff like "oh its ok if i do that or if i can't do that because i'm a girl mah"

and after working for a few years more often than not, female co-workers i had were like your boyfriend said, "useless" so maybe thats where his thinking came from? i found that my original female managers were a rarity, most women i worked with, practically had no ambitions at all of climbing all the way, only concerned with getting a rich husband or a comfortable position and then stay there with minimium responsibilities.

one of my co workers wanted to just marry young and stay at home. i actually made sure i supported her bf's decision for her to continue working if they're married whenever we talked about it.

.I'm not a degree holder myself but from what i hear from my brother and friends they tend to have pretty negative impressions of fellow female degree holders. business or otherwise. most stories revolved around not turning up or not doing their share of work with excuses like "i don't know how to do, why don't you help me". without the same problem coming from guys. so that might have coloured his views too.

Hello Kitty SG

u & him sama sama.

oldbreadstinks SG

u & him sama sama.

not really, i see people as individuals, not as sex. i firmly believe if you're going to come out into the society to work you better don't give me bullshit like "i can't do this because i'm a girl." i consider this equality, i certainly don't expect girls to go around carrying heavy loads in my job but you should at least hold yourself responsible for your jobscope.

as mentioned i had a very good opinion of one of my first female managers, i even rated her more highly than other male managers i've worked with so far but thing is she's a rarity.

Hello Kitty SG

wasnt referrin to u can.

oldbreadstinks SG

sorrie lah, you quoted just after me so i mistaken

seotiblizzard SG

Is it my eyes or the font size?

AndrewPKYap SG

Is it my eyes or the font size?

Sorry about the font size , was typing in the mailbox before pasting it here. pls press ctrl +++ .

Let me do you a favour

Originally posted by barista:

Sometimes it gets so frustrating talking to him. But 我忍。

He looks down on females so much , it gets to my nerves. Yes,I'm talking about the male chauvinist boyfriend.

There are females in his company who are VPs , MDs, AVPs .

To that, he will say "oh they are useless, they can't do anything right. They don't even know what's going on, they only make matters worse etc and because they are females that's why couldn't do things well. " Of course there are female bosses who are not very useful to the coy but It just boils inside me when the view points he makes is so sexist and disrespectful.

Eg, we are on the topic of engineering.. he mentioned about his girl friend taking engineering in uni because her results are too poor to get into business course. He will go on, alot of people who are in engineering (he is in business) have no choice but to choose engin because their results are too bad to enter business school.

I was quite surprised and replied, that's true but there must be some who really likes engineering and think that's the course for them

He: Oh but never the girls. I've never seen girls who are good in engin. It's always the guys who are better and even in business school it's the guys as well.

Me: but there must be females who scores well too

He: It's so rare that i've never met one. Oh and anyway ,are there any great inventors who are females ?

I can't think of any in the older days so i kept quiet.. to that he raised his voice, "none! "

I used to complain about my work as well but due to his incessant negative views on females' cabability, i just hate to share my woes with him anymore.

By the way, i am earning as much as he does although he is a degree grad and i'm a diploma holder. And i'm 8 years younger than him.

We have been living with each other for coming two years.

Is it really common still for guys to have this kind of thinking nowadays? SHould i just shrug my shoulders each time he does it again or should i better make my move from him if i want some respect?

MoaningCow SG

Threaten him with a scissors at night.

limpper SG

Is it my eyes or the font size?

gunner77 SG

Is it my eyes or the font size?

its the font size

parn SG

ha ha ha, u the fucktard ah qua never stop to draw attention to yourself. Nobody who is normal talks like you. YOu the bitch is so damn fucking fond of sowing discord.

Wait wait for your bloody severe punishment when you arrive in hell. A bloody evil, nasty character like yours will not end up in heaven.

Bloody parn, just admit to us you are having severe OCD that no drs can cure you. if you so frustrated, send yourself to hell lah. KNN!

Oh my gosh......here comes the Ah Kua Gong......

And why would any forumers want lodge their complaints to a retarded Ah Kua like yourself other than your own clones?

You must be going mad complaining to yourself.

You are so funny...especially when you do your Mommy proud with your KNN.

Be a polite Ah Kua and maybe it's easier for other forumers to accept you into their community.

You don't really have to be an offensive Ah Kua to own other people deep deep ya.

And don't spoil this thread PLEASE.

limpper SG

relax man

Gedanken SG

You say:

However, at times , when he caught me looking totally pissed with what he said, he will say he treats me differently from other people and he sees me as his equal.

but you also report:

He: It's so rare that i've never met one. Oh and anyway ,are there any great inventors who are females ?
I can't think of any in the older days so i kept quiet.. to that he raised his voice, "none! "

He says he treats you as an equal, yet his actions as reported clearly show that to be a lie. He's not only treated you in an insulting manner, he's rubbed salt into the wound by lying to you and saying that he treats you as an equal.

Guess what? You let him get away with it.

If he's as much of a misogynist as his views reflect, he's laughing every time he hands you this "treat you as equal" lie and you swallow it hook, line and sinker.

Sadly, if he thinks women are dumb, your continued acceptance of his lies only serve to provide him with more ammunition. You're simply perpetuating what you so hate.

candiz SG

Sometimes it gets so frustrating talking to him. But 我忍。
He looks down on females so much , it gets to my nerves. Yes,I'm talking about the male chauvinist boyfriend.
There are females in his company who are VPs , MDs, AVPs .
To that, he will say "oh they are useless, they can't do anything right. They don't even know what's going on, they only make matters worse etc and because they are females that's why couldn't do things well. " Of course there are female bosses who are not very useful to the coy but It just boils inside me when the view points he makes is so sexist and disrespectful.
Eg, we are on the topic of engineering.. he mentioned about his girl friend taking engineering in uni because her results are too poor to get into business course. He will go on, alot of people who are in engineering (he is in business) have no choice but to choose engin because their results are too bad to enter business school.
I was quite surprised and replied, that's true but there must be some who really likes engineering and think that's the course for them
He: Oh but never the girls. I've never seen girls who are good in engin. It's always the guys who are better and even in business school it's the guys as well.
Me: but there must be females who scores well too
He: It's so rare that i've never met one. Oh and anyway ,are there any great inventors who are females ?
I can't think of any in the older days so i kept quiet.. to that he raised his voice, "none! "
I used to complain about my work as well but due to his incessant negative views on females' cabability, i just hate to share my woes with him anymore.
By the way, i am earning as much as he does although he is a degree grad and i'm a diploma holder. And i'm 8 years younger than him.
We have been living with each other for coming two years.

Is it really common still for guys to have this kind of thinking nowadays? SHould i just shrug my shoulders each time he does it again or should i better make my move from him if i want some respect?

that's just his male ego at play. sure there are incapable females out there, but that doesn't mean all cannot make it in career. there are guys out there who are lousy too

i think he should be quite a caring guy right? if not you wouldn't have been with him for so long, the weird thing is sometimes these chauvanistic guys can be quite gentlemanly and caring.

you better talk to him about it and let him know you don't like it. i know how you feel, i also hate such sexist comments, even though sometimes the guy really don't mean it.

some guys are just brought up with very strong male ego sentiments, and it will take time to change, you need patience. worse come to worse, if everything else fails, i'm sure you will know what to do

CannyOng SG

I only look down on women when they drive. LOL.

klivee SG

tell him go fly kite .

barista SG

gedanken,

I did kick up fusses about this with him . If this doesn't work. I tackle it using soft approach if not in other ways.But those never solve anything, it only makes my blood boils even more. So, what's the point? solution is simple. Either i accept him for who he is happily and without any grumbles or walk away from him.

I do hate myself for loving him. But if not for him, i wouldn't have known i'm capable of what i'm doing today. Probably, i used him to push myself to achieve greater heights in my life. to prove or to not to lose? I'm not sure. All i know is i enjoy the triumph. Like what candiz had mentioned , he sure has charm. Why should i allow such a flaw of his to overwhelm every part of him?

"treating me as his equal" Was that a lie?
There are times when He was unhappy with my flaws as well. But it wouldn't take long for him to come hug me again. So was that a pretence as well?

Gedanken SG

It's entirely up to you to decide if it's a case of:

1) accepting this annoying characteristic because he has overwhelmingly positive traits or;
2) clutching at a few positive characteristics to excuse this significant flaw.

Ultimately, of course, the only person who could give you a straight answer to that is you. All I'm doing and all I can do is play devil's advocate.

In playing devil's advocate, where I'm coming from is the story you often hear coming from abused wives: "He's such a great guy - it's just incovenient that he gives me a black eye every once in a while".

Seeing as how this fellow's chauvanism bothers you enough to the extent that you have raised this for discussion here, we cannot discount the possibility that you are looking for positives to compensate for the negatives. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but I felt it was a valid aspect of this situation to be examined.

One other question I have is this: how does his hugging you make you his equal? Does a parent not hug a child? Does that make the child the parent's equal?

I would think the hug is more a case of being patronising than of treating you as an equal.

To be frank, I wonder if you're crediting this fellow with more intelligence than is justified, on the basis of his view that people study engineering because they can't make it into business. He's based this view on a sample of one (namely his girlfriend), and then taken it as a matter of gospel truth. Such unsubstantiated extrapolation is a very Chicken Little approach to things and a habit of the intellectually lazy and unintelligent.

Perhaps he does not extend such intellectual laziness to other aspects of his life, but given his tendency to stereotype, the evidence implies that such is not the case.

Mind you, I've no vested interest in promoting the virtues of business over engineering or vice versa. I'm a psychologist, specialising in leadership and organisational dynamics, and I often see senior managers and executives behaving the way your boyfriend does when they're out of their depth at work. One tendency I've often observed over the years is that people love showing off what they don't have, and when you scratch past the puffery and bravado you'll see the fear that drives it. It happens on such a regular basis that I'm reasonably confident that what you're seeing is such a case.

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