TS,
About this matter, it all depends on a few factors:
1. You and your gf's age (I refer her as gf as this was an issue
when she was still just ur gf) - in this case, i assume both of u
weren't that young when u got together (since u've just proposed to
her) so it's not really an issue
2. Seriousness of the relationship then
3. How u felt towards her then
4. How she felt towards u then
5. Both sides' family culture/custom when it comes to reunion
dinners
From what I see, perhaps there is a disparity in your opinions
and hers because u were just not ready to deal with it? Some
reunion dinners consist of the ENTIRE extended family and relatives
and that can be daunting. Or ur family just doesn't have the
habit of bringing girlfriends/boyfriends over? To each family its
own. Or because you simply didn't feel as deep about her as
compared to her feelings for u back then? Or maybe u were unsure
about how ur family and ur gf would get along? Not ready for it?
Too young? And I think u don't see it as an act of love whereas she
does.There are so many reasons.
And there's nothing wrong with that. It takes two hands to clap.
She was so eager to go to ur family's reunion dinner but u weren't
comfortable. That's all there is. Even if she wasn't happy, she has
to respect that. Maybe she feels insecure cos' u didn't want to
bring her over. But that was over. She's now ur fiancee, and I
think she should be feeling more secured about how u feel towards
her since u've just proposed right?
Now u gotta ask urself why u don't feel comfortable with having
her over for reunion when she was just your gf. Perhaps u are the
kind of guy who isn't frivolous and feels that u need to be
absolutely sure before u take a course of action. In this case, u
feel that only after u've made the commitment to propose to her,
then u feel it's appropriate to bring her to ur family's reunion
dinner.
You following ur bros and sis doesn't mean u have no mind of ur
own. It simply means u agree with the 'custom' in ur family to
bring only fiancees and wives/fiances and husbands to an event u
deem as important as a reunion dinner. U sticking to ur opinion
about this demonstrates that u HAVE a mind of ur own. Unless of cos
u falter when she questions u and u lie about it. Tell the truth to
ur fiancee and don't give stupid excuses just because she's upset.
Women will get even more upset if they feel that u're not telling
the truth or just saying something to appease them.
I feel that she's making a big fuss. Now that she's accepted ur
proposal, she's suddenly making a tantrum about refusing to go to
ur family's reunion dinner when logically, being a fiancee gives
her MORE reason to attend as compared to being a gf as she'll very
soon be an official part of ur family.
How u handle ur conflicts with her now will set the tone for how
u handle conflicts with her as husband and wife. So tread carefully
and have a good talk with her. Hear her side and make sure she
hears yours. However, after that, please do reassure her a lot and
work hard to make her feel cherished and loved. She probably felt
hurt that u didn't want to bring her over for reunion dinner back
then and thus felt less cherished and loved.
Hope this helps.
