i had think abt that as well. but i still cannot accept my kids
calling someone else dad or even uncle. as time go by, they will no
longer regards me as dad, coz i dint see them day to day or could i
share their problems and educate them. my wife is living her
parents now in foreign country. so every year i go visit them 4
times, staying in their house, of coz her parents not knowing the
separation she has file. one day when she married, how can i ever
visit them on a regular basis.
i dont want to resort fighting for custody but i fear she
married the wrong guy who abuse my kids. she is not working and
depending on my remmitance and her welfare. my income can easily
support my 2 kids here in singapore.
i am not sure what are my chances. i am very confuse, i want the
kids but i dont wish them to be separated with their sister but i
wanted them to be safe from future harm. For my children sake, i am
willing to remain single for the rest of my life.
i hope she can return to me.
There is a distinctive difference in the cultures of the two
countries. Being brought up in a foreign place, you cannot expect
them to share your thoughts.
Being in your current predicament, it is easy to become
emotional. Blinded by such, you become irrational. There is nothing
you can do if your wife insists in grabbing the children away.
Also, a cheating wife will never admit to you. Claiming that the
dubious relationship is platonic is a common practice for such
people.
Give your children an opportunity to choose who they want to be
with. Even if they acknowledge someone else as their father, you
will still have to accept it. A biological parent will never be
able to beat someone who raise them up.
Your worries about your wife marrying someone abusive is not
unfounded. At the same time, if she realises that the new husband
is not going to fulfill his role as a father and husband, she will
also move on with the kids given the fact that you are aware of her
affections for them.
Don't rush into a custodial contest. Such dispute only goes to
show how petty and short sighted we are. Possessive love is
selfish. It is not love. Love can be shown in many ways. One way is
to sacrifice yourself by playing the positively contributing bad
guy. The bread giver yet the one who is constantly painted as the
forsaker. For your children, you will be willing to play such a
detested role.
If you are 34 this year, I am just a few years younger than you.
I'm fine if you need to rant. PM me if you think it's more
convenient.
