my wife of 7 years want a divorce. we had 2 kids and are
currently staying with her at oversea.
our marriage are dainted with lotsa argument and differnces.
that build the bases of more arguement and unhappiness.
she file for separation in an oversea court. she say we should
cool down these 2 years and see what happens. i try very hard to
change my temper and learn from past arguement and i vow i would
change to salvage our marriage. 1 year on, while visiting kids, i
notice she has change. she deny she seeing another guy. i question
her but she insist they are good friends.
they chat thru the night on phone and seem to be very happy.
maybe as guy, i feel it is hard to believe that such a
behaviour can be deem as just friends. i beg her to give us a
chance and kids a chance. but she avoid and saying she wont stop me
seeing the kids. i am even willing to give up my job and singapore
to stay with her at her country.
i am at a lost, i fear i migth lost the kids forever and fear
that my kids will be living for someone else and call other daddy.
i love my kids very much and my wife very much. i can think and
work properly. i wanted to fight custody for my kids but i dont
want to anger her and create and unhappy tension amid i still hold
some hope she would return to me. i am sending money to her and
kids every mth to ensure they are alight.
i am not sure what are my chances if i fight custody of our 2
kids. if i engage a lawyer it will annoy her. what if i lose the
fight, she will probably stop me from seeing the 2 kids. if i dont
fight for custody i am afraid my kids will be soemone else kids. i
love my kids very much. i will do everything to make sure they are
well even with my own life.
i had lost hope in my work, life. and even probably consider
joining a church to seek relieve from my horrific part of my
life!
I can tell you from a girl's perspective, your wife has already
moved on, given up the relationship with you, do not love you
anymore, do not regard you as her husband anymore, and you don't
mean a thing to her anymore.
So you should not be naive and still hold onto the impossible
hope of going back to the past where everything seems to be fine
again.
Don't be surprised if I tell you your wife had long since made
plans and prepared herself for this long before it happened and you
know nothing of it.
You should learn from your wife and show her that you can move
on and you moved on with a BETTER life than her and you want to
fight for the custody of your children.
But please do not let your wife know that you are preparing to
fight for the custody of your children. Let her know about it ONLY
after you have obtained the custody of your children.
And you should pay more attention to your own anger, cos if you
cannot control your own anger....even if you have obtained the
custody of your children, you might lose your custody if your
children are fearful of your temper.
It's retarded to express and bring out your love to your wife
only when she have none left for you already. 
