Disillusionedblue,
May I remind you that your husband may be a grown man.. but he
is still very much a little boy in his overgrown heart.
You can confront him.. but in a calm and civilised manner. Like
a mother to a child who has done mischief.
From the way you have described.. obviously he wants to get
caught by you. There's probably some underlying issues he dare not
bring to your attention.. and like many young children..they do
mischievious things to get your attention even though it is the
negative type.
Let him know you are aware of his little flings, and you
understand he is bored and need some cheap thrills , but remind him
that you do not want any " tah bao" from those girls.
Admit you have read through his messages.. but do not apologize
for your actions.
If he protest.. simply tell him " If you have nothing to hide..
why hide ?"
Be very matter of fact. If he wants to throw a fit..keep calm,
let him get it out of his system.
Unfortunately, men can and many times do sub categorize women.
Throughout history and civilization across the globe.
They will enslave humans.. as they think of them as lesser human
beings.. yet they will also rape them or derive pleasure like an
animal.
The girls he messes around with are a dime a dozen. But you are
the queen of the household. Your status is different from those
girls, so use this to your advantage.
A female friend with 2 kids once told me.. she has 3
children.
you're crazy,
to ts: if its still possible to control your emotion, try to,
don't talk to him while you're angry. we don't know what your
husband is like so based on your own understanding you have to
judge whether he is the type who would back off when confronted or
otherwise. wait til you've calmed down then decided for yourself if
the marriage is worth saving.
if possible try not to even bring up you checked his SMSes if
you feel he's the type that reacts strongly to confrontation but if
he ask don't hide. he only needs to know that you know, everything
else can let him guess.
truth is most men after doing it once would do it again if given
the chance. everyone i knew who did it, repeated their actions.
just think it through calmly first, do you think you can still live
with him after this and trust him again? some can, most nowadays
can't especially if there's no children.
at least if worst case divorce, things would end better if
parting is peaceful. no point fighting in anger at court. whatever
your choice if he still cares, using guilt would be better against
him than anger.
