I have a close friend who's getting married. I had agreed to be
her bridesmaid but recently pulled out of it because I decided that
I didn't want to have to interact with my ex boyfriend, who is one
of her husband-to-be's best men.
Before I pulled out, however, I checked with her if not doing it
would mean that our friendship would be affected. I had already
bought my dress for the occasion and was prepared to go if she
insisted. However, she seemed all right about it at that time, so I
thought all was well and that she'd be able to find a
replacement.
Later, when we met up again with other friends, she tried to act
as though I was not there. Or if I said anything to her, she would
give a snappish reply.
I'm quite upset by her behaviour, because I feel that my friend
is also being a bit selfish here. What happened with my ex hurt me
a lot. Even till now, I still feel a pang of sadness when I think
about him. It's been more than a month since I last spoke to him,
though I never really blamed him for the break up, seeing him and
talking to him again will bring back memories.
On the other hand, there are friends who've told me that I'm in
the wrong and that I'm the selfish one. They felt that I
should have gone since I've known her for ages. My friend has not
been answering my calls, but she has sent an sms to tell me that
she is feeling disappointed that I couldn't put aside my feelings
for just that one day.
Can feelings be put aside like that? Am I in the wrong? How can
I mend this friendship? It's quite weird between us now, with her
ignoring me. I feel that we can both be more mature about this and
talk face to face. I understand that she may be having wedding
jitters, and I would like to help, but she doesn't seem to want to
talk to me at all.
i guess you have to explain to her, try to communicate with her
to tell her how you feel and encourage her to tell you how she
really leaves. it's only when you two just trash things out, then
you can be able to resolve from there.
on the other hand, just speaking from my personal view point.
not saying who is in the wrong n who is in the right. for one
thing, it's an honor to be asked to be a bridesmaid because she has
chose you out of so many other friends. and that you have agreed
even knowing that 'he' will be there. Naturally anyone would be
upset when the promise is broken. on the other hand, i guess
putting myself in your shoes, i do understand as well.
i guess for me ultimately, the wedding is not about you, it's ur
fren's big day, i guess for her to choose you to be her bridesmaid
meant a lot to her. so... yeah.
i still suggest u go find her to talk face to face or call her
up, you guys got to talk, n trash things out
