I had an experience like yours
too.
New here,but i got a few questions that i need to ask.
Recently got together with a girl,well,kind of stole her from
another guy la,but she loves me too,that's why i decided to ask her
to be my Gf. To some of the ppl out there,she only agreed to be my
gf after she broke up with her ex,we were together maybe a few days
after she broke up with him.so that's why i said (kind of stole). I
didn't really steal her.I went the "legal" way...
Same thing, i thought it was
'legal' too. But apparently, she couldn't let go of her
ex.
She told me she had let go
already,that's why she agreed to be with me.
Her (ex)bf and her were having communication problems and she
decided that he cudn't give her enough freedom in her life,she's in
uni,(i'm her classmate now.)so we're quite young,he's working(he's
much older than her) but he wants to meet her almost everyday, they
have been together for less than a year but should have gone
through a lot of things together more than any of her previous
ones,she was really devoted to him even though they had people
objecting them to be together. So for now basically she thinks that
he's a bit controlling her although he loves her a lot plus always
shower her with gifts and romantic surprises that she likes.And so
they had a big quarrel and split up. That was when me and her
started.By that time we had known each other for maybe 3plus weeks
only and i did express my thoughts about her to her.But i feel that
i like her a lot and that she likes me too.So i asked her to be my
gf after she broke up with him and she accepted,so,we've been
together for maybe one month?
Same, she wanna meet up with her
ex almost everyday too.
Nope,different here.It was him who
wants to meet everyday not her.
We've been quite happy together going out after classes or
weekends,other than the fact the ex keeps on msging her ,still
calling her by her very intimate names and sending her
gifts,flowers.Infront of me she never or hardly replies him la,i
dun question her,but i know she sometimes,sometimes only ah,does
reply him when we are not together.
Yeah, this situation was the same
as mine. She replies him, but refuses to tell me.
She did tell me that he does still
sms her a lot but even if she does reply,the messages that she
replies are short and innoculus.What he wants to send,she cannot
control,but she can decide what she wants to send.
There was one time maybe a couple of weeks after we were
togther,that she went to meet him to have a talk,they spoke for a
while.The ex didn't scold her or anything,instead did the
unexpected and treated her like very well.Bought her even more
things and doing heart touching things only the two of them
understand,somethings that involved only their memories,so i didn't
really probe.Sigh~~I think she even cried...Don't ask me how i knew
what happened la,i know it happened.Just like how i know things
about them that happened before,my sources are kept private.
Oh yea, this sounds familiar.. For
me, after she met up and cried, I gave up totally. There's no point
continuing anymore, she couldn't be happy.
Girls have sensitive
characters,correct?Especially when she expected him to fly into a
rage.He ended up doing something opposite,of course she will feel
bad and cry at how she had treated him,right?
After that day,things slightly went back to normal for us,lotsa
lotsa classes and projects.I was happy.She was happy,i think. Cause
her ex still msg her everyday,wanting to meet.She ignored him
whenever possible and told him she was too busy to meet.She also
told him she loves me a lot and just want to be friends with him
for now.However,i can't help having a nagging feeling that she
feels she owes him and that she is or will be regretting what
happened between them one day.
Lies, lies, lies. She can't let
go. I feel that she probably treats you as a rebound
guy.
Like i said,she had made it very
clear that she really only loves me now,to me and to him.But what i
wonder is,if someone thinks that they may regret any of their
decisions in the future,does it mean the actually have started
regretting it already?
Then recently days back,they met up to go out for dinner.She did
tell me she was meeting him,and i was pretty ok with it la.I was
not really upset or anything.I don't really know what they did,but
i'm pretty sure her ex still treats her like as if they were still
together.I trust her but i don't know about the other guy.He might
still try to get touchy feely with her.And i think he has no
intention of letting her go.My friends all tell me that the way me
and her started wasn't a normal way to start a relationship and
that i should really be wary of them going out.Especially when they
always only go out alone.Although i know they won't do anything
everytime they meet.Maybe hugs at the most,like goodbye hugs,he
holding her waist ,then try to hold her hand like that. Like
normally how us guys try to take advantage of girls.=)Confirm
nothing more physical though.
Gone le, you know if you still
have feelings for someone, the more you see that person, the more
you can't let go?
Well,they have only met up for a
talk once and gone out for dinner another time once also only.So
not much he can do to affect her right?
So i got a few questions.
1)Was the way we started considered not normal?
Yeah, it's not normal. How could
someone go into a relationship so fast after she broke?
Maybe i wud like to ask the girls
out there,any opinions on this? End a previous serious relationship
and get into another one so quickly? Not those infatuation
types,serious relationships.
2)Should i be upset and wary when she goes out with her ex so
soon after she just broke up with him this way? Leaving him for
me?Although she said that she just wants to be friends with
him.
Be wary, being upset is normal and
a sure thing.
Another question i need the girls
out there to help me on.Sigh~~If you had broken up with your
previous boyfriend in this way,would you dare or want to see or
agree to go out with him again so soon (one month)?
3)She says i give her the freedom that her ex couldn't give,is
it a really valid reason for her to be with me (we know each other
not long) or she just wants a way to escape from her boyfriend and
i just happen to be there?
I guess she had felt that she
couldn't continue with her ex anymore (maybe cos of the
communication problem?) , then it just happens you were there.This
happened to me too. I had the same thought as you too.
So are you trying to say she fell
in love with freedom and not me? That anyone who gave her
that,could also be her boyfriend?
4)Should i let them go out again?And if she does go out with him
again,how?
There's no choice, you're stuck.
Even if you don't let her go out with her ex, she has her own
freedom to choose, and if you don't let them go out, she will feel
that you aren't giving her enough freedom. That'll be a good reason
for you two to quarrel over, if she treats you as the rebound
guy.
Well,for this part,i asked,it
seems that she had agreed to meet him every now and then.They
already arranged their next meeting,but to be confirmed by her due
to her busy schedule.As in not everyday or what,but maybe once
every one or two weeks.It's ok right,i feel,what harm could come
out of one day in 1 or 2 weeks,when i sit beside her almost
everyday in school and after school.I have more time with her,so
advantage to me?
5)My friend she warned me that she could leave me very soon if
the other guy refuses to give up.She said if my gf could leave him
so quickly after knowing me for only such a short period of time,it
could be just that she found something in me that she wants for
now.But will go back to him once she's tired of me.Is it true?What
comes fast goes even faster?She will regret breaking with him?Or
she already regret?We're still quite happy together now.
This, i'm not sure. But for me, i
left her. I couldn't continue with it, she just couldn't be happy
in the relationship anymore. A person is supposed to be happy
in a relationship isn't it? If she's happy with her ex, then let
her be. I left her, and she went back to her ex.
This part,i cannot be sure
also,because,i have many surrounding friends telling me different
stories and experiences.Some say,she cannot let him go that's why
she still agrees to meet him,but i feel that when she's with
me,she's happy.She enjoys being with me.I just worry what will
happen if the guy continues to stay around.I also wonder why she
does not just tell him not to disturb her anymore and to let her
be.Sometimes i wonder,under this type of circumstances,is it even
wise for them to stay as friends?Won't it be a faster and easier
way to cut him off?Any help here?
6)Anyone got any similar stories or experiences to share?