Let pause for a moment. Will you take someone like mine gf as
your future wife going against your parents ? While you yourself
could have a better life from parents support and a better filial
and educated girl whom ur parent agreed and doted on like their
own? One big happy family together?
Can you tahan 50 years of abuse while u work yourself to
death coming to home and your wife who dun appreciated you and spit
you in the face. And get stuck into this relationship forever?
Are you willingly to keep forking out with the little money you
have left to treat her personal illness bills forever while
she sit at home and shake legs. While doest even support or give
some moral support to her husband ? Or even a nice word thank you?
Or are you tired hubby ?
Will you be tired is she constantly doest want to communicate
and share her feelings with you? You will go berserk constantly
trying to figure her out. What is she thinking ? etc etc
Will you afraid if one night u are sleeping and she stuck a
knife in ur stomach ? Or run away again perhaps with a new guy.
I am sorry. I am tired. I guess my wonderful life is screwed. By
fallen in love with the wrong person. There is no way out. Only a
dead end.
I am sorry guys. I am tired. Have a good day. Please dun fall
into the same situation as me.
Hi Le Tero,
I hope you would seriously consider what I have to say.
I've read your posts. I would especially like to quote the post
above that you wrote.
Yes, all of us hear you, how you've been through a lot of
unfortunate incidents because of this girl. In fact, I could
blockquote all of what you had posted listing down all the hardship
you had heroically gone through for this lady.
Let me just ask you a few questions that hopefully you could try
to think of answers for yourself.
Were you happy in your previous family before you move out? I
mean, not the kind of happiness people ordinarily see from the
surface, that you've been wealthy, have pampering parents who give
you more than enough allowance etc. Did you ever felt an
emptiness or boredom no one else seems to fill?
I am going to make some very bold assumptions here. Along came
this girl and she gave you the attention you craved. She
distracted you from that void and soon you were
smitten. In fact, you were so smitten with her that you
unconsciously decided to overlook all her
short-comings to the point of giving her your blind trust. You
willing did all the hardwork, bore the hardship and trusted her
without questions because you look to her as the
distraction of your void.
In other words, you USED her as your ESCAPE.
Because of all her irresponsible ways, she conveniently became your
scapegoat for not facing up to life. No doubt,
yes, you've been through some very hard times, but did you know
that you could achieve twice or much much more with the same amount
of effort you put in, minus the blame you
unconsciously projected unto this girl? Not that
she doesn't have a part to play in causing you grief, but that
have you respected yourself enough not to be used
by her this way? By using her as an escape this way, is this call
true love? You do not need an
excuse to be independent and successful. Now that you're
away from your parents, isn't it time to stand on your own two feet
and seriously take charge of your own life once and for
all?
I am sorry. I am tired. I guess my wonderful life is screwed. By
fallen in love with the wrong person. There is no way out. Only a
dead end.
Your life is not screwed because you fell in love with the wrong
person. Your life will only continue to be miserable because you
keep pushing blame. You are tired because you have been
pushing the focus on others. What about yourself? Have you
seriously sat down and actually planned what you want in your life
and what is the kind of girl you would want to eventually marry?
What are your hobbies and what do you enjoy doing that you would do
all over again to relax yourself? What are the things that you find
meaningful?
One's purpose in life will not just drop from the sky nor come
by because some girls showed you that little bit of extra care and
attention. Many times, you would have to find it yourself.
That is why life has been described as a journey. Have you
started walking at all?
There is this thing called 'choices' in life. We get to choose.
Make your choice and then ACCEPT it. If this girl has gone missing
and you have CHOOSEN to do all you could, worrying about this
matter incessantly is not going to make her come back. Just like we
can only curse under our breath when we miss the last MRT, choosing
to feel unhappy about it is not going to make another train appear
magically right before your very eyes. Why not just hum and sing
song meanwhile? Make yourself a little happier before the train
comes along again?
Don't be a people pleaser. Not everyone walks the same path as
you. You don't have to answer to them so long as you answer to
yourself. Do you know what is important to you? Example, values
such as respect, love and devotion. After identifying what are the
important values to you, are you living up to them, or are you
allowing others to trash them? If it is the latter, then
why are you CHOOSING to ALLOW others to trample your
beliefs and thus CHOOSING to feel miserable this way?
I should applaud you for mustering up your courage to post on AA
forum here. You CHOSE to post here.
I hear you. I saw all that you wrote about what you've
gone through which no doubt words would not be enough to even come
close to experiencing the agony in real life. I hope that helps to
get the rage and confusion off your chest.
I hope this is where the escape ends and taking charge
of your own life starts.
Your life starts today.
CHOOSE to live life, and shape it every single day.
Rome
wasn't built in a day.
All the best!