Here goes another story to add on to the ones in AA already
sorry to all.
Ok, me and this girl, we're very close since 4 years ago. She's
going to finish her diploma while I'm in the army now. Since last
time, we always share our food and I always send her home cause her
house quite close to mine. We were very close but once our O's
ended in '05, she went to a polytechnic while I went to a JC.
Due to this, we didn't have much contact as we're busy with our
own lives. Note, we're not an item, just very very good friends.
However, once I was in JC, I realise I don't like her as a friend
but more of a life companion, that gf-ish feeling. She didn't had a
boyfriend during sec school days but people always mistook us for a
couple. These past 3 years have been terrible as no matter how I
tried to contact her, the flame will only last awhile and she'll
disappear with her own stuffs. It always breaks my heart as no
matter how hard I try, shit happens.
After graduating and going our separate ways, we only met less
than 5 times since we graduated. She would either be busy or
working as she always worked part time while studying. In 2006, I
got to know that she got attached with this dude who's better than
me in every aspect. She's with him now still btw. We would mostly
meet up during her birthday and that will be only time I can spend
with her alone, just us 2. However, with each year, the pain in my
heart grew. The pain was too much to live with, but not enough to
kill me. Now we only meet once a year and she has been calling me
to meet up.
I can't bear to see her, every day every moment I think of her.
I see her facebook/friendster laden with all the hapoy pictures of
her and her boyfriend. Even though I can't live with the pain, I
still go back to see the pictures. I look back at the neoprints and
pictures we took when we were younger every week, wishing we could
go back to how we were back then.
I need some advise on what should I do. My life revolves her.
She's happy with her boyfriend and I cannot bear the sight of it. I
can't go on living like this.
Sigh, I had a perfect life. Until I ran afoul of that
which vexes all men.
Yes, get another girl. Good boys not scared got no girls
like....esp when they are a little bit handsum. 
If you truly love her, you should swallow the pain and be STRONG
for her....believe in her happiness found in her bf is real and
true. IF even this kind of bitterness you also cannot tahan, then
how is your next gf going to have confident in your love if she
know/read about this?
This is not about you feeling unhappy and unable to take it
because someone else have taken away your favorite toy in
kindergarten. IT's all about HER! HER!! and HER!!!
The fact that she has been calling you to meet up shows how much
she cherished you as her old friend and how she treasures those
memories that both of you shared together during your life journey
together back in your secondary school days. And you should do the
same for her if you truly wants to be her friend and have her in
your life. Most guys would've given up and ended the friendship
with the girl because they got rejected or cannot be with the girl
anymore, that's so childish behaviour of them...but like I've said,
they are only guys....not MAN.
I do not deny the fact that she may have liked you during the
secondary school days because of the time she chose to spend
together with you. You must realise that she have grown up and
matured in her thinking, so her priorities have also shifted in
accordance to her present lifestyle. But your time have stopped at
your secondary school time. This is because you have truly enjoyed
the times you spent together with her back in your secondary
school. And the more often you tries to playback those memories in
your mind and quiet time, the less desire/motivation for your
subconscious to move on from your secondary school days. You have
caused yourself to stay back and repeat your secondary school times
subconsciously without knowing it. If you find that the people
around are beginning to be different around you and you are having
problems socialising with them for some unknown reasons. It is
the evidence that your society is warning you that you have
overly stayed back in your past for too long a period of time.
It is time for you to move on.
To force yourself to move on, you MUST temporarily removed all
traces of her that is constantly reminding you of her at your
surroundings, be it a photo, Music CDs that both of you shared
together, Yearbook, SECRET PHOTOS ,
and basically just about every thing that contained trace of
memories of her and put them into a BOX/CHEST or even CONTAINER if
you have to, and locked them all away from you.
Depending on your own honesty and integrity, you are not to
unlock that time capsule which contains the memories of her until
you have moved on.
How do you know if you have moved on already or not? Hmm...if
you can find another girl that makes you feel for a stronger sense
of love/protection/welfare/lust than her, then I supposed you can
unlock that time capsule. But if you felt a strong desire to unlock
your time capsule and cheat on this, BEWARE that it is going to
take you an EVEN longer period of time to move on. So cheat at your
own discretion if you wish.
Unfortunately nobody have lived a perfect life, and the good
news is, imperfection gives people the fear of losing their own
lives. And I can safely say you're not a suicidal person.
So I wished you all the best in your lives, and you will find
another girl that is more compatible with you.
