hello all. this is my story.
i don't know whether the problem lies with me or her. i'll just
try to summarise.
i've been with her for almost 8 months already. she's a nice
lady, been nice to me and everything. but as time goes, she seems
to change. not drastic change but different from what she used to
be when i knew her. she has been lying to me about almost
everything since the start of the relationship, and i forgave
her everytime and start afresh cause i want this relationship work
out. now she tells me everything willingly without me asking her,
but i still doubt her somehow. i don't know why she gave me the
feeling that she's doing something else behind my back. my mind
always run wild, thinking of the impossibilities. is it because
of her past doings which made me into this state now?
at first, i wasn't possessive because i thought it won't work
out. as my love grew for her, i was somehow possessive
because of her playful nature. and then she told me about my
wrongdoings. and ok, i changed, gave her freedom, let her be
wild and everything. i like her because of her character.
nowadays she treats me like a 'ball'. when she needs me, she
will call me. when im not needed, i won't receive any msg/call from
her. she doesn't inform me where she is or anything, and i don't
ask about her of anything. so, we are just like 'friends' with
title of 'bf and gf'.
here's the one of the incidents which happened recently.
about a month ago, i found out about her
online conversation (chat log) with a guy which she denies it
and told me it was her friend. i won't discuss the content of the
conversation (if you know what i mean) and both of them had
webcamed together... and i chose to believed her for one
more time and forgave her.
and then just recently, she was chatting online as usual and i
was doing my stuff (don't really wanna care who she chatting with
but my heart wanted to know). but on that night, somehow i had this
curiousity, and i turned my head to look at her conversation (with
a guy) and on webcam, she quickly closed the window.
why did she want to do that?
sometimes she will tell me, this guy that guy tried to woo her
and said wanna marry her for just knowing her 3 days and blah blah.
i was proud of her cause i told her if she isn't nice, no one
will wanna woo her. but why does she give other guys chances to woo
her? why don't she just tell them she's attached? i mean if she
tells them that and they try to woo her, im okay with it. she has
the right to choose. but since we are together now, she did
not tell them about me. and speaking of that, i was named as
'friend' infront of her friends and not 'bf'. when her friends
called, she will tell them 'im going out with my friend'. i was
like 'huh?'.
there are other incidents and i don't know how to continue..
i mean does she respect this relationship at all? or am i
putting in too much effort?
i understand that a relationship should have mutual trust and
respect. but my trust for her is depleting. is it me or her? am i
thinking too much?
p.s. we are both about mid-20's already
