Okie, I think I have posted about my parents quite some time
ago, but I am now encountering even more problems with them, so
let's see if any of you can help me out with ways on how to deal
with them.
My parents are currently residing in Malaysia (they have their
own house there), they are both retired and received quite a
reasonable amount of allowances from me every month. They have
access to my car (which I am paying for as well, they only fork out
money for the petrol) so they have no problem getting around. They
are both in their late fifties and I am trying my best to make sure
that they are enjoying their retirement period.
Recently I ROMed with my husband and my parents have been
causing problem ever since. At first they pestered me on why can't
I hold my wedding banquet together with my ROM ceremony and I told
them that I do not have enough money to do so. Both me and my
husband are not millionaires, we are just average people trying to
earn a living to survive in this city which has a high cost of
living as well. We told them we will hold the banquet in one or two
years time and for a short while, they seemed to be ok with that
idea. After that they changed their mind and wanted me to get a
house instead. So I said I can use our savings to buy the house
first but because of that, the banquet would have to be pushed
until even later.
So obviously they are not happy about that because they said I
am making them "lose face" in front of their relatives and they
kept thinking that I am not going to hold the banquet anymore in
the future. I really dunno how to explain it to them at times.
Everytime I try to explain something to them they will doubt my
words and said I don't care about their "face" anymore, don't care
about their well-being anymore. If I really do not care, I won't
even spend a single cent on their allowance every month (which is
quite a hefty sum, it takes up around 40% of my total pay every
month). When I try to explain things to them, they will keep
threatening to come to my workplace to create a scene. I really
can't afford to let them do that if I want to still work peacefully
in my workplace for a long duration...
Another thing is that my hubby and I have plans of migrating to
another country in maybe 6 or 7 years time...but that time they
should be quite old already (and maybe one of them would have
already passed away). I am the only child in the family and I do
not want to shirk my responsibility of taking care of them but if I
migrate, how do I go about it? Is it alright if I just hire a full
time nurse or maid to take care of them in my absence?
I really want to be filial and responsible towards them but
sometimes they do make things very difficult for me. Appreciate any
comments or ideas on how I can solve this problem or at least stop
them from keep bugging me...thanks for reading.
Do you not love your parents? Why would you even think they're
bugging you or even a burden to you?
I can't believe you even thinking about one of them passing away
in 6 or 7 years time!And how would you feel if next time your
children also think the same way about you and your husband?
I don't believe if you say you cannot afford to even have a
wedding dinner in Malaysia. Do you think your parents really wanted
you to hold the dinner in a 5star hotel? Why don't you ask them
about it?
I'm sure they loved you and misses you very much and that's why
they are still in contact with you and frequent.
I don't believe a person without morals like you can even be a
teacher, and your husband who married you is also not a nice guy in
real life or he's just a blind man.
You can NEVER repay the love, attention, time, that your parents
have spent on you. Do you really think your money is that great and
it's fair enough for you to repay them?
Touch your own heart and conscience and forget about the money
or your bank a/c for once, and LOVE your parents before it's too
late!
You must have forgotten one thing, YOUR HUSBAND CAN ALWAYS LEAVE
AND FORSAKE YOU FOR ANOTHER WOMAN, BUT YOUR PARENTS
WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!
Don't focus too much on money and status, even if you are
multi-millionaires in real life, you are still poor and wretched as
a person. Cos you have failed to show love and respect to your
parents as a human and you have failed to embrace that
ability that only humans are capable of doing so.
Can you still considered yourself as human? You're worse than an
animal. Even my dogs and cats know how to express love to me better
than you can show love to your parents.