Actually, I dunno by posting is to seek advice, to let it out or
both.
I felt awfully tired.
I dunno is cos I dun understand my fiance, he dun understand me, or
is it both ways?
Or in a way, I have always been strong, that regardless of what
things that may happened, he felt I am supposed to be able to go
thru in one piece?
Whenever things cropped up in my life, I told him - he jus nod
and nod.
When things cropped up in my life, he told me, I couldn't jus nod
and nod, I have to offer advice, help, solve. I am expected to do
all those.
When my dad was in hosp after a major op, during xmas time, his
mentality was why is he in hosp with me, we should be out enjoying
ourselves crazy.
When my sis was in hosp, I sent soup to her everyday after school,
he came to fetch me back, but he was constantly nagging why
must he always appear in hosp to see me.
All these trips to hosp, visits to my family, I never requested him
to do so, neither did I ask.
On my bro's wedding day, he was late by an hour plus, I told him he
was lucky cos some of my family members were caught in a jam,
thus would be late, meaning he was in time for the dinner. His
reply - I am not the groom today, late or not, dun matter.
His sis's rom, he said he thot the time was 9am, but actually it
was 11am, we reached there at 830am.
I was once teased and laughed at very badly cos I bought a soft
drink for ten bucks when I was overseas with his family.
Recently, I went to the same place again with my family, I bought
three soft drinks, my family told me, as long as u r happy, and we
are here to enjoy, jus buy wat u wan.
When I got into a quarrel with his fren, he took the neutral part,
although he knew well that his ren was at fault. His reason - it's
only fair I be neutral, it doesn't matter who rite who wrong, as
long as I know u rite, everything's ok liao.
But, mayb he had forgotten, I was close to some of his frenz as
well, they told me, he told his frenz I was at fault, it's me being
ridiculous.
His fren caused me to have an accident, landed in hosp, missed my
first day of job, and I have to resign cos I was in hosp for three
months, yet it's my fault.
I went for a short holiday, came back, but felt tired as due to the
schedule, I had to be up early during the trip. He nagged and
nagged at me saying I was looking so tired and so sian after my
trip, said since I so tired from holiday, might as well dun go. He
met me the day I came back from my trip.
I was worrying about my family member's medical result, dunno
whether op is needed or not, he said I am being ridiculous, why
bother to think about these things. It's a major op, can't I be
worried?
No hold hands = dun love him.
Too long no meet his family, cos of my work commitments, I get
scoldings. And have to drag me go meet them for dinner despite
knowing I am very tired out. Ended up, I was on medical leave for a
week, cos I caught a cold during that dinner. He jus said who asked
you to work so much, see, dun work so much den you won't fall sick
already.
I dun work? Is he going to provide for me and my family? -_-"
The following scenario mayb is I myself being ridiculous - seeing
pretty gals, or rather those wearing shorts or mini skirts, he
will tell me he felt like stopping his car and giving them a
drive. See these gals in retail stores, he will say
he dun mind giving his entire month's pay jus for a nite with
them. I ??? - Once, twice, I am fine; but each and everytime he
saw, he must say? Am I being ridiculous or am I just being normal
by getting angry?
I seldom turn up for his family gatherings, but he will turn up at
mine and started comparing how often he turned up at mine, while I
never turned up at his. I will definitely love to say, at least
my family treats u like a human being and is courteous to
u, urs? Urs either treats me like another vase there or
take out on me when they are feeling moody.
Imagine dining with a group of ppl, when the food is served, esp
one that everyone loved, the plate jus go practically empty within
a few minutes? When I didn't take any meat, jus take veges, cos
meat are pretty high in demand on the table, I was 'branded' as
fussy. I didn't want to 'snatch' meat.
These are just Part 1; there are more parts to go~~~~~~~~