I have to admit very frankly, initial start I adhered by the
list of things I have stated, but now I missed out one - the
comparison part.
Mayb I did things the wrong way - I tried making him see
things from my stand by comparing.
Take for example - I will compare - That time I remember my dad was
in hosp, after a major op, I was there most of the time, and it was
near to xmas. He was discharged only after xmas. But, my fiance was
nagging and nagging and saying how can we be spending xmas in hosp,
we should be out enjoying ourselves. Plus, isn't it enough we pop
by to see him already, why's the need to stay till xmas over? I
compared - I told him straight in the face, if that's his dad lying
there, and I am telling him the things he is telling me now. How
would he feel? --> Is this compare? I felt in a way it is.
For the recent 2 yrs together, I started using comparing, like the
above example, to let him see things from my view, how he would
feel if the same things are happening to him.
I repeat: You have done much
much more than you could. You do not need to scrutinize your list
on what have you not done or what went wrong that you might be able
to remedy. You are not a superwoman. You deserve love, fun and a
blame-free relationship.
You deserve a better man, a better future. Have you ever
consider then, after almost exhausting your list on how to improve
this relationship, maybe what you did wrong is,
you chose the wrong guy.
Simply put, he is totally wrong for you.
The reason why you start comparing is because your internal guts
is trying to tell you something is very wrong. Maybe he is
wrong.
Maybe he will never ever stop imposing his weird sense of ideas
to you such as commenting on how he would spend his entire pay for
a night on one of those retail girls, or calling you ridiculous for
worrying a family member just before a major operation.
Think about it.
