Problem getting a steady girlfriend

last SG · 2008-08-25T15:01:01+00:00

you are too impatient sydney...to make a girl really fall in love with you takes time, years and not months...especially if she is the the other half you see...

Rednano SG

I'm 21 and just returned to Singapore after graduating overseas. For the past 5-6 years i've played around alot. I flirt around alot, dated many girls, had many girlfriends/flings and slept around a fair bit too. Yeah, probably the typical guy most girls will call a jerk.

Lately, i'm starting to get sick of all the booze and partying, and i've been looking for a steady girlfriend to sorta settle down with. Not exactly thinking of getting married, but seeking someone that I can click with and take care of (and vice versa).

A while back, there was this girl that I really liked. She liked me too but she would not accept me as her partner because she said she cannot afford another heartbreak. I've tried countless of times to convince her that I'm serious but she would always end up crying and telling me to leave her alone as I will just end up breaking her heart. We're now over each other and we're good friends.

I met another girl 2 weeks ago, and i'm kinda facing the same problem. My expectations are quite high and these 2 girls both fall in the pretty/smart/mature/understanding category and are great girls who are not easy to come by.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/

Sydney SG

To Gigabyte:

when u promise something to them, don't break it no matter what

there, settled

I don't break my promises, cos i hardly ever make any.

To Killtheink:

How can anyone get sick of booze. haha.

Well the only way to get girls, not just those 2, to trust you again is to genuinely BE sincere and trustworthy. Not just in your mind, but in your heart too. And time'll do the rest to help you prove yourself.

I don't really mean to boast but I have no problem getting girls; wild ones and decent ones. I guess i'm kinda a flirt by nature and they know that too. The problem here is the girl assumes i'm a jerk, can't help liking me, but then restrains herself from getting too deep. It seems to me now that even the decent girls are just looking for a fling. A girl kisses me then tells me that she doesn't deserve me. Well, at least that's what she said.

To Jojo:

You gota source from the outside circle.

Both girls were from the outside circle. Somehow, they can still tell.

To SBST:

21... 5 - 6 yrs??

no NS???

I deferred from NS. Was the last batch to be able to go overseas provided you enter Uni before 17 and 6 months. Will go ns in March next year.

BadzMaro SG

If all fails.. still got some other way la.. ultimately it depends on whether u really want to b with her or not.

Fix a broken women , and she will love you forever.

Sydney SG

lol BadzMaro u sure reply quick enough.

I'm not sure, I might be wrong but somehow I feel its just that Singaporean girls are a little protective over their feelings, especially to guys like me who spent their teenage years overseas. Any girls can comment on this?

The first girl I mentioned, we never got together, but we had sex and it was her first time too. A few days later, she told me she cannot fall for me. Sometimes I really don't understand how girls think. This current girl, a few nights ago she kissed me while crying then told me she doesn't deserve me.

I'm so confused. Maybe you're right, its karma.

killtheink SG

To Killtheink:

That's understandable, I don't think you're boasting or being a BHB. After awhile of being a so-called flirt, you probably carry yourself in that way w/o realizing it. How about doing a self-check. Like the way you behave that's probably sending the message to girls that you're a flirt? Or you could try like 2 months of not hooking up with any girl, smth like a cold turkey method. I don't know if you get what I'm saying.

Haha if its decent girls who look for flings, then beneath that exterior they're probably NOT that decent. really decent girls generally don't end up with flings but long term, steady relationships.

killtheink SG

Girls protective of their feelings? probably they've been hurt a couple of times before so they're more cautious this time around.

BadzMaro SG

I reply quick.. when u are not eve replying me. Means i very eng now. LoL..me overseas also. You are like the younger version of me. But i have started to pay off my karma points .. have u started urs ?

Not just Singaporean girls feel protective over thier feelings. Many girls do. lol wtf u talking about. hahaha

Damn u popped a virgin. Did u string the first chick along for sometime ? Because for a girl to give it up.. and actually come to decide to give it up to you , and knowing full well ur character and chose not to be with u after it is just so.. Its so DEEP man.. DEEP!!! Fuk! Reminds me of someone. Anyways, In my opnion , u should go for that girl. Cause she really knows u well enough.

For the second chick.. rebound guy ? RIght time right moment for a guy who do not want a serious relationship at that moment of tim. Tears , hugs n kisses. I wonder why she was crying. It wont be just because she thinsk she doesnt deserve u.Trust me man.. lol.

Sydney SG

Thanks. Actually I think i'll try the cold turkey

killtheink SG

HAHA popped a virgin. nice one.

well Sydney at least you're aware of your situation. Some "flirts" don't even realize what they're doing.

Sydney SG

I guess they will realise it when they face problems like I do. I don't really consider myself as a 'flirt' actually, I'm just more open-minded having spent some time overseas. But everyone else says I am so I just accept it.

killtheink SG

Yes, that's why i used "flirt" and not flirt. heh.

BadzMaro SG

'I'm not a flirt !!! I am just open - minded!'

I used it before. And it didnt work. hahaha

Works on ppl with the same level as you. same 'open minded flirts'

At least u didnt get called a Spanar King. hahaha

killtheink SG

ahahhaahahah spanar king.

Sydney SG

Error: New users must wait 5 minutes between each of their first 20 posts.

This error message is getting annoying.

BadzMaro

Yeah the first chick been quite a while. Met her last november when I was back in Singapore for my holidays. The second girl, I assumed she was crying because she was about to reject me and let me go and she was sad about it. But now that you mentioned, maybe I was wrong.

How are u paying off your karma points?

BadzMaro SG

BadzMaro

How are u paying off your karma points?

K la.. honestly , i dun even know am i paying off my karma points. But i do admit that some stuffs.. what goes around comes around is quite true. And it sucks.. mega sucks.

And not being reckless be it in our behaviour or in relationships. I admit.. i fuked up many times before. lol... its like knowing love only when you have lost it. But fuk the past man.. we gotta look to the future!Learn from the mistakes, adapt to your goals and ur dream catch . And our character will determine the kind of girls we attract. Forcing ourselves to be someone else we are not also ... stress.

But then again.. u 21. lol.. plenty of time to do lots of self-help-learning. hahaha and know how to repay karma points. Go church ? lol!

Hwaimeng SG

eerrrr i find it hard t o believe u are getting serious

cause u meet 1 girl and u tell yrself u love her and u wan to be serious

but when u meet another new pretty gal , u end up telling yrself the same things again (- -)

so most propely when u meet another gal. u will end up doing the same .....

RedizAlertz SG

Tsk..I still cant imagine a guy who used to flirt alot can change for the better..Sorry for being bias..but, convince me, pple. & I'll tell u how gals work.

Sydney SG

Hwaimeng, its not because I meet 1 girl and I want to be serious. I'm not saying I wanna get married, but I am seeking a healthy relationship. None of my previous girlfriends lasted more than 6 months and its partly because of my attitude towards relationships in general. I didn't want to be tied down or to commit. But now I think with a new environment and having turned 21, I should start to change.

And to Rediz, I won't be able to convince you. With my 100% sincerity I couldn't convince a girl whom I like and likes me too. I won't even bother trying to convince you.

RedizAlertz SG

And to Rediz, I won't be able to convince you. With my 100% sincerity I couldn't convince a girl whom I like and likes me too. I won't even bother trying to convince you.

Cos I hav jus met someone who is exactly like ur case, 'cept ur age difference. My frenz (given tat all are sg chinese gals) all find tat person advances too fast.

Would you consider the gal on ur first date?

Sydney SG

Consider in what sense?

If i initiated the date I probably do have a liking for her. So yes, i guess i will consider her if I haven't done so already. But no, I won't jump right in to commit anything, and i believe neither would she.

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