Probably because of your adamant self beliefs
that problems are generally solvable and you have much endurance to
spare; your seemingly lack of drive to initiate yourself out of
this relationship might to be due to a ironic situation where you
feel that you haven't find enough reason to coerce yourself to
leave, although they are blatant reasons to. (This is a karmic
phenomenon known to CloUdiSm as Frog Theory X Fixedly).
Seriously, it doesn't really matter how much 'well-intended'
reasoning someone else can put across - you don't really need
those; what you require is simply just a decision and to stick with
it. Either to walk away permanently or to change the circumstances
of your relationship.
You must understand this: you can even walk away
without a reason, if you are really bend on leaving. If you are
firm on staying, nothing can make you go. For Love is freewill and
emotional bondage are usually karmic by nature.
And all the angles and perspectives are actually barriers that
hinder movements to freedom. Some people don't realize this: to
bury themselves with all sort of angles and perspectives, by
rationalizing that it is important to avoid making mistakes and
having regrets in the future, is often the introduction of
stagnation. Taking calculated moves are reasonable; but not when
you are overly obsessed with the notion of fear, which ultimately
immobilize you. Then the source of your angles and perspective are
nothing but excuses for insecurity to thrive and the unconscious
steps in employing avoidance tactics to evade existing
problems.
You are resigned to the fact that your man wouldn't change, but
subconsciously, you are waiting for an exception. You waited and
waited - patience might be running out, but you could easily say
that hope survived all adversity. Albeit, I say it's good to occupy
your time and make life much more meaningful outside that of your
ailing relationship, but you must also recognise that it is a
facade to avoid confronting your relationship altogether and
delaying the inevitable.
What do I mean by delaying the inevitable?
Should your relationship perish under major incompatibility,
then it will surely manifest towards that direction, unless
something drastic happen. Relationship only change, if
humans evolved themselves. This ensures the long
term positive development of a relationship and not resorting to
short term measures to patch certain vulnerabilities for a limited
period of time. The latter would be too prescriptive in
problem-solving and is often ineffective because individual cosmic
lessons are not mastered, thus reiterated lessons over and over
again.
If a relationship is always a source of conflict, then the mark
of wisdom would be to identity the real cusp of issue and evolve
them.
Your man lives in a massive delusion; he thinks that his
relationship is functioning well and flourishing. Although he
sensed that something is not quite right somewhere in his kingdom,
but like the Emperor's New Clothes, he somewhat believed that if he
maintain this illusion of grandeur, things will just tide over
somehow. He threatened you with break-up because it puts a
full-stop to your approach in trying to dispel this illusion. And
it works every time he play this trick, so that rules hardly
change.
Your permission to succumb compromised the integrity of the
relationship, thus sacrificing long term growth. Over a vast period
of time, the relationship cracks and bleeds indefinitely.
Now you are completely lost in trying to mend the damage.
By yourself.
There is only so much discrimination, disrespect and suppression
one can endure before burn-out occurs. 'That's just me and I can't
change' attitude is pretty much self absorbed on his end too. But
as a separate issue, your decision to choose him as your mate, with
the misery that accompanied your choice, is surely part of your
karmic circumstance to understand and learn certain abstract
concept of Love.
If lost must occur before one could gain enlightenment, would
you allow that growth by imparting the lesson of lost?
Sometimes, divorce is loving.(Ninth Law of Love).
Cheers
