Is she stepping over me?

last SG · 2008-07-05T13:55:54+00:00

Aya just ta han lar since u love her so much .Or talk to her tell her how u really feel

BeautifulBetty SG

I don't know nowadays what is the definition of love for the young people but seems to me what you are experiencing is not really love andI suspect neither is she. You're both actually in love with love the act itself. No one who is sensible enough will give way until like your case. You're just spoiling her. Perhaps deep down you feel you are more inferior to her or beneath her and feels very lucky that among all the guys she have met she chose you to be her boyfriend. So it was just natural of you to want to hang on to her becase you feel that if she hasn't chosen you, you would have still been alone. That! is not love. That! is just being feeling wanted and belonged like 'Thank God, someone finally take me. I'm not unsaleable anymore!'

She, on the other hand may or may not realize it that subconsciously she can wrap you around her fingers but onething for sure is she certainly knows how to take full advantage of your weak personality to 'bully' you into submission.

Right now you may feel that without her you will be miserable and even take on the blames that you were really at 'fault' here for making her angry because of fear of losing her but how about in the long run? You are still what I call in the phase of 'love' and that is why you are able to put up with her crap but as I said for long can you tolerate such irrational behavior

Young man, we are all human beings with emotions and we continue to change as we aged and grow. As your thinking get more mature and as you meet more and more people especially the opposite sex you will start to compare them to your girlfriend. You may not do it consciously but it will catch you out of the blue. Believe me in that split second you will be shock in thinking 'Why did such a thought occur?' and in that split second you will began to waver in your feelings for her. You will question yourself of your so-called love for her.

Ok, maybe just maybe you truly truly love her for young people nowadays love to fantasize about perfect love that is "If I love her that much I will put up with whatever she dish out to me. I will love her unconditionally no matter how unreasonable she is" But don't you think you are over spoiling her and encouraging her to bully you? In that sense you are really the one at fault for encouraging her to develop such behaviour.

Your girlfriend behavior is no different from that of a child. She knows she can get away with murder so to speak if she throws a tantrum if you do not accede to her whims and fancy. She has you tightly twirl around her little finger. She knows she is very important to you thus she will not hesitate to openly show you her tantrum.

It may still be fine if she do it in private with you but if you let her continue and 'encourage' her in such behaviour I won't be surprise if she will do it openly to you right in front of your friends, colleagues and even relatives and families.

Anyway if you really think you really love her that much and was thinking of spending the rest of your life with her I think you should make some changes. Help her to be a better person to treat you better. Don't let her walk all over you and seriously review this relationship if it is worth your effort. Think whether you are the one that is actually at fault here for encouraging such behaviour from her and if yes try to change it, you don't want to overspoil her until where one day you cannot take it anymore only to regret about your action which by that time might be a little late as both of you may have gotten married or even worse with kids.

Do think carefully.

Good luck!

Aiyoh! Unker FP, why so long-winded one???

So simple here. The guy is a doormat and the gf is a btich. One like to be abused the other one like to do the abusing. They are really 'tien shen yi dui'. It's good they found each other, less one doormat and less one bitch to harm others.

Fs4751 SG

Should look for those signed on female officers, then u can be 'Prince' le. LOL

Eh if my gf liddat I will just make her pregnant and let her feel helpless for a period of time to show my authority. Then take responsibility for her later on and smirk with a smile of victory.

Soft-hearted = gg.

Wah bro......u really plan ur way up hah.......

parn SG

My gf & I have been together for almost a year. I can say i love her a lot, to the extent where the thought of her being unhappy/in pain irks me...

But if there is 1 thing about her i can't stand, it's her temper. She gets angry very easily, even minor things like hot weather. I suspect she has "princess temper". I ALWAYS give in to her & chase after her even when she is in the wrong. Due to this, i think, she is becoming more confident that i would go after her & started to walk away from me without even turning her head to see if i'm after her...

I do my responsibilities as a boyfriend as best as i can. I really do LOVE her, but sometimes, whenever she throws her temper, i tell myself: "Oh not again!". Because her throwing her temper means, very often, an hour at least of chasing after her, apologising to her & making her forgive me.

She always blames her temper on me: "Who ask you to do the wrong things" & "Who ask you to say the wrong thing?".

I am someone who is very soft-hearted. I can't bear to leave her & she has a way with me. She knows how to make me feel soft. Heck, i can't even bear to walk away when she walks off away from me. I will always, without any option, chase after her to patch things back as i don't want to ruin a beautiful day.

My question, most importantly, is: "Is there any way to change her temperament?". We had many talks about this & she would always tell me she won't get angry so easy anymore... But time after time, she does. I'm feeling really helpless...

Have you been spending time with your gf daily? If the answer is no, then maybe you have found the reason for her intolerable temper.

Must spend at least 5 to 15mins of your focused time with her everyday...whether you like it or not. No girlfriends in this world would mind hearing from their boyfriends daily, and No girlfriends in this world would like to be ignored for even a single day...with exception that the love no longer exists in the relationship.

Make sure your 5 to 15mins of focused time is FOCUSED on her. TALK to her, communicate, tell her how much you missed her and loved her, show concern for her well-being, be sensitive to her hints, hold her and give her a good hug to show her she is still very much important to you and you still cared, show her you still love her very much (even sometimes you don't really feel that everyday, only on those days when you are feeling horny), and most importantly...by talking to your girlfriend daily, you are actually allowing her to de-stress herself and unload/pour all her grievances on you (which we have plenty).

Try it and tell me if it works, but most importantly, be sincere when you plan to do it...otherwise, if she finds out you're taking her for granted, things might just get alot worse than it is.

soleachip SG

Next time if shes in the wrong, walk away and dont chase after her. Dont apologise or whatever.

She'd be wonderin "wtf?" and will spend some time pondering over her deeds.

Let her be the one who do the approach instead.

I second that.

sometimes as a guy, you need to know just when to shut up. it will save you a lot of trouble and angst, also prevent you from becoming a door mat.

if there is no point in "communicating" then just walk away for a bit and let her cool down. women can be crazy sometimes.

Pitot SG

adapt la.

everyone is different. there is no standard operating procedure.

Chyeo1979 SG

One day your feelings for her is going to fade and you're going to think back and realize how silly you were now to endure all these

angel7030 SG

One day your feelings for her is going to fade and you're going to think back and realize how silly you were now to endure all these

Yes, true true true, ok, listen to the expert ya.

Hope the day will come, if not cham liao.

Chris1988 SG

shadez let me ask you a question.

she blames you for the things you did wrong or say wrong.

tell me honestly did you do or say anything wrong at tt point of time?

if you didn't than stop apologizing and ask her straight in the face what you did wrong.

if she can't answer what wrong you did and say things like, you should know.

admit to her you really don't know and ask her if she could identify the mistake so you can change for the better next time.

sometimes if she doesn't eat the soft way, let her eat the hard way. sometimes you got to flare up back at her to show her you had enough. you're a human with feelings. everytime she does this to you, you feel terrible deep down you got to let her know this. if not she'll never know.

you're like a battery kae bro. your battery will die out someday if she continues to eat so much electricity.

Beautiful951 SG

Well next time she throw a fit, run after her. But just stare at her. Don't say a word till she calm down

CannyOng SG

Try the silence method. If she runs away and ignore u. Let it be. Don't chase after her or talk to her. Let her have a taste of yr silence and also a good time for both of u to cool down ,do some self reflection and avoid further fight and quarrel. Eventually, after one or two days, u may called her back try to talk her in or gives in. But nobody likes the silence treatment. Let her suffer a few days.

I use this way to show my disapproval to my wife of her action. It has tame her alot.

mancha SG

"to walk away from me without even turning her head to see if i'm after her..."

Seems like I have read this line before.

"My question, most importantly, is: "Is there any way to change her temperament?". We had many talks about this & she would always tell me she won't get angry so easy anymore... But time after time, she does. I'm feeling really helpless..."

Answer: 1 No way, she will change her temperamant. And 2, yes, you are helpless.

And if you have learnt nothing from your last post on this subject, I believe you will learn nothing from this post either.

Shut up and suffer.

angel7030 SG

Well next time she throw a fit, run after her. But just stare at her. Don't say a word till she calm down

FYI, i whacked and slapped my ex bf at Funan for doing that to me.

angel7030 SG

As my Chinses teacher once said, " You can shift the mountains and the earth, but a person character can hardly be change"

Since you know yr gf is tempermental type and you still go after her and love her, then perhap her tempermental character is the one that attracted you unconciously.

On the other hand, have u ever wonder, if your gf is a not tempermental gal, perhap she is not your gf liao.

You choose her to be your gf, that it, take it, and live with it.

Frustrated_guy SG

Right now you may feel that without her you will be miserable and even take on the blames that you were really at 'fault' here for making her angry because of fear of losing her but how about in the long run? You are still what I call in the phase of 'love' and that is why you are able to put up with her crap but as I said for long can you tolerate such irrational behavior

Do think carefully.

Good luck!

Although a bit long, but I have to agree with you. Your reply seems to hit many correct spots in a relationship. For TS gf to change, it would be a difficult thing since she has been like this for so long.

And girls can get angry and unreasonable in an unpredictably short amount of time. Just standing and doing nothing will result in argument. Oh, it hasn't happen to TS yet, but it will after marriage...

Frustrated_guy SG

Have you been spending time with your gf daily? If the answer is no, then maybe you have found the reason for her intolerable temper.

Try it and tell me if it works, but most importantly, be sincere when you plan to do it...otherwise, if she finds out you're taking her for granted, things might just get alot worse than it is.

That might not work, since the girl might want to drive the conversation to what she wants. If it's not what she wants, she will lose her temper again and talking becomes argument...

Frustrated_guy SG

Nvm...

Hello Kitty SG

u tink we tro tantrum to eberi ah kow & ah niao meh.

Frustrated_guy SG

No, girls don't throw tantrum to every ah kow and ah niao, but isn't that the worst part?

Girls can throw tantrum to their bf/spouse only for every single day, and that is enough to drive a man crazy.

angel7030 SG

No, girls don't throw tantrum to every ah kow and ah niao, but isn't that the worst part?

Girls can throw tantrum to their bf/spouse only for every single day, and that is enough to drive a man crazy.

But please remember hor, we only throw tantrum on those we love, same goes to some guys, they also throw tantrum on gfs/parents, if I dun love you, i throw tantrum on you for what??.

We gals naturally and emotionally needed to be pamper, as a guy, you must able to understand. We throw tantrum because we want and love you, and for some guys, it excite them, cos these is what gal should be, how can it drive a man crazy???

People always said how come this guy got a lots of gf and me struggling so hard and also handsome then him cannot find one ar? well the different is, because he understand gal better than you.

RachelSniper SG

Oh my gawd.

I have this 'Princess' symptoms too. Lmao.

There is really nothing you can do. I am really sorry to hear that you have such... incidents.

*Swear to curb my own stupid temper after listening what happened to poor shadez's.

Paiseh.

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