I currently have a girlfriend who is older than I am. Being
that as it may, I have no issues with our difference in age.
However, she fails to trust me.
I have a friend, a girl, A, from church. I grew up with her, and
I admit in the past we used to like each other when we were young
and adolescent. But not for very long. Now she has her own
boyfriend, and I have my girlfriend. However, my girlfriend doesn't
quite like A. Since I told her about A and I liking each other in
the past, her mood changed drastically, and A has been an issue of
unpleasant discussion over the past few months.
My girlfriend observes A, and notices that she attempts to grab
my attention. For example, when A talks, she glances at me quite
frequently and today, for some reason, A entered the room where my
girlfriend, I and another church member was seated. And she kept
entering, re-entering, re-entering again and finally stayed put in
the room. Each time she entered she made some sort of a din.
According to my girlfriend. Although I failed to pay much
attention.
A has been the constant subject of annoyance and displeasure for
my girlfriend, and to my girlfriend it seems like A is always
trying to get my attention. Not helping is the fact that almost
everyone seemed to think for a time that A and I were perfect for
each other. I told my girlfriend that the more people tell me to do
something, the more I won't do it, and hence she refused to believe
that I'm with her because I sincerely love her, but only to prove a
point to everyone else that I'm defying their laws.
Recently, my girlfriend has made an effort to befriend A. In the
past, when my girlfriend said hi, A would just ignore her and walk
along, and my girlfriend attributed it to A perhaps not noticing
her gesture.
I have explained many times to my girlfriend that I do love her,
but she still can't seem to trust me.
She also mentioned to me a few times that I tend to look at
other girls very frequently, sometimes to the extent of
compromising my attention on her when she is in the midst of
talking. She says my eyes would dart around, but I only look to
observe, not to check out. But she doesn't quite take it that way.
One occasion, she said that I stared at a girl to the point where I
no longer hear what she's saying. I do enjoy observing people
because I just have opinions to make, and I never meant to give her
the wrong idea.
I am actually very exasperated and I made the mistake of telling
her in the past, that if she couldn't accept A as a part of my
life, I would find it hard to love her. It was a mistake and my
girlfriend still hurts from it, and hence till today my girlfriend
feels "disposable". I also admit, I told her that my ex
girlfriend was my "bragging right". Because back then she was the
hottest girl in school and I got to go out with her. My girlfriend
gave me the option to speak freely so maybe she couldn't handle
it.
Just now, I talked to her. We had a long discussion, and I was
upset about her still clinging on to the A issue. To my girlfriend,
A was clearly out to get my attention, but frankly I really didn't
notice. I asked her why does she think A is better than her, and
she replied "personality, figure, looks". Then, my girlfriend said
that she regretted placing me in a box all this while, and she
realized the pressure she placed on me regarding A and my brother's
girlfriend. She told me that I could have my old life back.
Rekindle my friendship with A, because I stopped talking to A a
while ago in order to please my girlfriend.My girlfriend is
insecure,but have I contributed to make her feel that way?
Also, my brother has a girlfriend who tried to flirt with me
when we went on a family vacation. She kept looking at me, and it
did make me feel akward. My girlfriend was quite upset and we did
argue about this. From then, she failed to trust that girl, and
whenever she came over, my girlfriend would be very uncomfortable.
My brother's girlfriend is young, so perhaps we can attribute it to
adolescence. She mentioned to my girlfriend that she wished my
brother was as mature as I was. My girlfriend took that as some
sort of signal that she was interested in me. I wonder how that
works?
Also, honestly, whenever we meet up, she is mostly the one
who comes over, and after work, she would walk to my office because
she knocks off earlier than I do and waits for me so we could go
home together to my place. In fact, she does offer most of the time
to meet and travel over, and she feels bad when I have to travel to
meet her. She refuses to let me pay for anything too. I need to
know what to do. My girlfriend doesn't feel special I think, but
why?
