my ex came back. im lost abt what i shld do

last SG · 2008-02-26T15:20:15+00:00

btw, alfie.. don't stereotype.. men do put a lot in to their relationships just to be cast aside too..and it hurts just as bad too..

steph09 SG

we broke up 1 year back. the reason why we broke up was becos he confessed that he had a gf all along (i was still unaware of the situation den) and i couldn't be accepting being "the other woman". many times, he asked me to stay with him but he had no plans to break up with her. During this 1 year after breaking up, there are a couple of times that he called and mentioned he saw me with guys, and he was jealous over that. He feels as though he had given me away. of cos, during this period after breaking up, he did, on a few occasions, asked me back but i rejected.

Now, he has broken up with the gf, and has been asking me out. Did only went out once and afterwhich we had been talking over the phone frequently. he had been hinting abt getting back, but i ignore that. now the hint has become obvious and he wants me back. I'm afraid that history will repeat itself and one thing that's for sure, i no longer have the trust and confidence in him. i told him that i hope we can remain as friends now, and any other things, we shall talk abt it later.

I'm kinda lost now, apparently he did told me that he's quite disappointed over my response.

Could anyone give some suggestions on my situation?

jojobeach SG

Very clear cut.

If you want a cheater as your boyfriend, nobody can stop you.

The very basis of any successful relationship is communication and TRUST.

In my opinion, such man I won't even bother to keep as friend.

FireIce SG

want u back only when the other woman is gone?
does this sound like spare tyre or wat.....

xavier1979 SG

You're a spare. Period.

You deserve someone better.

the Bear SG

you were 2nd best..

and after he could not make it with someone else, he came back..

does he love you or are you just some kind of convenient thing to be used?

like ef-ai said, spare tyre?

you want to be one, go ahead.. not our decision to be made..

but remember what we have said..

Short Ninja SG

How is he your ex when he was never really yours in the first place? You are young and you need to go out more and meet people , dont make your life any more complicated then it already is.

steph09 SG

Well, yes i did thot of this, and just to add on further, previously he said he couldn’t break up with the gf was becos the girl underwent abortion and he felt indebted to her. and that moment, he made the confession to me that he was 2-timing, with me clueless at the moment.

FireIce SG

wah..... ji lame excuse leh........

when he had the choice, he did not choose u
now when he has no choice then he come look for u

u ownself think he worth it or not lah.

steph09 SG

to be frank, my mind is in a confused stage now, as i’m easily “xin ruan”.

Short Ninja SG

Abortion?? That makes him even a more irresponsible person.Maybe he is a good guy ,maybe some day he could become a good husband and a great father but right now dont seem to be the time for the both of you to make this work.

steph09 SG

really appreciate all your prompt advices..

Because of his poor background and plus at that moment, he was still studying, he said he couldnt even afford to start a family. which i’ve been to his place and see for myself. (ok i think i made his environment sound really bad, but one look, can see that his family background well-to-do or not one)

FireIce SG

then his intention of getting back with u now is?
u are the shake money tree?

jojobeach SG

And his ex gf broke up with him ? Or he dumped her ?

the Bear SG

you're confused..

so stay the hell away from him and clear your mind.. once you are clear, you go make your decision...

be with him or walk away from him.. it's still your decision.. but make it with a clear mind..

you have been told..

frankly, the only thing you should touch him with is with a long pole.. applied with high velocity to his head..

xavier1979 SG

really appreciate all your prompt advices..

The abortion case showed a side of his character.

If he had sex with the girl, why didn't he take proper protection?
>> This shows he's one who doesn't think of consequences.

If the baby came to the world, why did he advise the girl to abort?
>> This shows he's unwilling to take responsibility.

He's a two-timer.
>> This shows he isn't faithful, dishonest and greedy (want the best of both worlds).

=====

Alas, is blind. How much we say here isn't going to change your impression of him.

So just go with what your heart tells you.

steph09 SG

jojo, he broke up with his girl and the reason i was told is they can’t get along.

nehpyh SG

I'm kinda lost now, apparently he did told me that he's quite disappointed over my response.

Could anyone give some suggestions on my situation?

Move along and live a new lease of life la...forget abt him. So many cute guys out there.....sigh.....why waste time??

Short Ninja SG

And he just had to have a second GF because he could get along with you? Or were you his second?

steph09 SG

fireice, he did mentioned more than once that he wanna really get into a good relationship with me without any obstacles that we were facing den..

the bear, yes i am super confused now.. after yesterday, i know i have to stay away from him… but saying is easier than done.i really hope to disappear away from the world now.. i’m trying hard.

alfagal SG

jojo, he broke up with his girl and the reason i was told is they can’t get along.

tat was wat he told u..any proof?

wat if next time u are e one who need to go for an abortion? sorry, but jus stating a qn that might come true