At a loss again.. was it a wrong decision?

last SG · 2008-02-13T22:56:50+00:00

Relax... Dont put too much hope with some1 who dont feel the same with u.. Confessing now wont be good as u know the response. Just be friends 1st. i know u...

purpledragon84 SG

hmm.. if she treats ur fren as a substitute for her ex, and still loves her ex, den y u want to do stunt and declare u like her..? u are really going to gif her super more problems..

1. she hasn't gotten over her ex..

2. she has to deal with the fact that ur fren likes her and she likes him but thinks that he is just a substitute for her ex..

and if u tell her u like her now, what are ur chances..? in fact, lets not talk about ur chances, think about whether it is fair for her..to nid to cope with the feelings of her own and balance THREE guys in her life.. she will be lagi more confused no..?

i suggest u just let Time do its thing.. go with the flow.. dunid to 'cut contact' or whatever.. just remain on good terms with her.. u still will get to see her and chill out with her and stuff too what.. u dun get to do bf gf stuff like hold hands with her, but u get to see her and tok to her and u dun lose the frenship too, isn't that best of both worlds..?

and i think when the time comes for u to "strike", u will noe it one.. gd luck ;)

Nobunaga Oda SG

Nobu,

How well can you handle rejection ?

It seems you are afraid of losing the friendship if the confession fails.

When it comes to keeping the friendship part. It really depends on how you handle yourself in the aftermath.

I have rejected many guys who are my in my circle of friends before.

Some are still friends. Some dissapeared into thin air.

The ones who remains friends are the ones who can get over the rejection.

The ones who dissapear, are those who became awkward around me, and eventually shun any gatherings I attend.

Rejecting a guy, is something we girls need to do rather often.

So we do get used to it.

So Nobu, you can keep wondering, if you can't handle it well, I suggest you don't even try.

I knw wad u are trying to say. But now the situation is like wad purple_dragon said. Haix.

Nobunaga Oda SG

hmm.. if she treats ur fren as a substitute for her ex, and still loves her ex, den y u want to do stunt and declare u like her..? u are really going to gif her super more problems..

1. she hasn't gotten over her ex..

2. she has to deal with the fact that ur fren likes her and she likes him but thinks that he is just a substitute for her ex..

and i think when the time comes for u to "strike", u will noe it one.. gd luck ;)

I knw. But i feel so like sort of envious or jealous of the guy as she keeps on tell me abt him. Like how cute is he, how sweet is he. Its wrong for me to think that way. I am having mixed feelings, sad and angry and happy. I think i will just have to wait patiently for it. I waited 1 yr. Wads another few months?

Nobunaga Oda SG

If you really value the friendship, walk away from her, cut off all contact for 6 mths at least. At least you still can resume your friendship with her 6 mths later after all the dust settle.

If you reveal your feelings now, and it turns out she don’t like you, then habis lor, friends also cannot be liao..

so, u gotta decide now, friendship better, or try to be bf/gf better. However since your friend already confess 1st liao, if you step in now, will be like horizontal knife stealing love.

Wad u mean by horizontal knife stealing love?

purpledragon84 SG

ya i guess it sux dat the person u adore is toking to u abt another person.. but if the situation is like this, there's really nth u can do abt it but to accept it, thinking positively, that at least she is on close terms to u now..

n "horizontal knife stealing love" is direct translation from chinese for snatching other ppl's beloved..

Nobunaga Oda SG

Haix.

u are right.

But isnt he indirectly doing the same thing to me.

i thought i had a chance when she was single.

Now...

Haix.

purpledragon84 SG

Haix.

u are right.

But isnt he indirectly doing the same thing to me.

i thought i had a chance when she was single.

Now...

Haix.

dun worry la.. let Time do its thing.. Time can do wonders.. it can reveal whether she's worth the wait, and it can even bring u another person.. and when Time brings along Opportunity, dun let it slip.. but at all times, u must be tactful and be considerate to her feelings as much as u want her for urself.. all the best bro..

jojobeach SG

Nobu,

Love waits for no one.

Nobunaga Oda SG

Wah 2 opposing views.

Both of u are right.

Thats my dilema.

Thanks to all who replied my post.

I appreciate it.

I guess i need to give this matter a careful thought.

dokono SG

arghhh, you are wasting too much of your time. Go for other girls.

And don't lie to yourself. You don't just want to be her friend. You obviously want more than that.

But you are just afraid of rejection. You like her but are afraid to say. You think women like men like these ?

I think she knows you like her as well. And by the way, women don't necesssarily reject men always.

It's time for men to establish power and say in relationships.

doko

henshin SG

Haha, I was in the same case as you, but mine lasted like 4 years.

Nobunaga Oda SG

Thanks to all for advising me.

I appreciate all the comments.

Case close.

I have made my decision already.

Thanks once again.

^tamago^ SG

Sakuraflower SG

well, if you are superb , you can make her fall in love with you! then have good ending!

if not cut the contact with her..

or just be her friend until you feel the timing is right!

rafTiger SG

in just about the same situation too, still waiting, one moment like has hope, the next moment she so cold again...

easy to say things like "wait for a while more", "get over her", "give her up" etc.... but the anxiety, heartache, helplessness and frustration within are just so unbearable!

How i wish i can fast-forward time now by months, or even by years... and see if waiting does yield any result

i'm still waiting for her, but i doubt anything will come out of it in the end.. guess that's the harsh REALITY, no chemistry means no chemistry, wait for how long also no use.

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