Hi Yuki,
You sound quite wonderful as a girl, perhaps because it's easy to
identify with your problems. It's always difficult to say no to
someone when there are feelings involved. Truth be told, even if he
were the epitome of complete badness, as long as you are attracted
to him, you'll stick around. From the tone of your post, the hurt
you feel is brimming, just not enough for you to leave him
completely.
On your 'wayward' boyfriend:
No one is born tough or bad. Souls are hardened, embittered over
time. His experiences and history as a kid probably has a lot to do
with the way he is right now. The good news is, 16 is hardly a
defining phase in his life. The bad news, it's going to take a lot
more than a nurturing girlfriend (you) for him to get his act
together. If a person doesnt have Integrity and character coming
in, youre not going to change him. In my humble opinion, even if
anyone is going to set him straight, it's going to have to be a
mentor who can guide him, a role model he respects or the outcome
of an important event.
If you're feeling a timbre of resentment (for fear he may drag you
down), please think again. It's certainly unfair to place the blame
on anybody else. In life, you've got to find the courage somewhere
in yourself to pursue the adventures and dreams you are after. If
you want to go to a polytechnic and that is your goal, then that is
where you start.
For all we know, if you do choose to leave him today, years or
months from now you two may pick up from where you left off. Maybe
you will meet someone else. Maybe you won't. Let time do it's
work.
Once you have decided on whether or not you want to break things
up. It will be easier to tackle the problem of blackmail. You
haven't been clear about the hold he has got over you. What sort of
secret is it? An embarrassing story? If this secret does not
involve embezzling funds, producing counterfeit bills and secret
sex videos, then by all means just stay away from him.
If he has been violent to you, then please just walk away. There is
never any excuse for someone to hit or threaten violence to another
gender. You don't hit animals and you don't hit people. It's as
simple as it can get.
When you are in a real relationship, you'll realize that you're not
there to be your boyfriend's punching bag, ATM machine and
psychiatrist.
Good luck to you.
