Originally posted by crimson soldier:
Knew this girl for almost 4 years already. Started as
friends but as I got to know more about her, I found myself falling
for me. 2 years ago got closer but when I asked her to be my gf she
did not respond. Did not pressure her and even avoided her
deliberately because I knew she was uncomfortable with me after
that. Though I still liked her I only asked about her through her
friends and sent her smses only on her birthday and new year,
etc.
Through the last 18 months she was always on/off my mind when I was
alone, like on the bus, before sleep. Told myself I would think
about her until she got a bf that would take care of her well or I
met another "special" one somehow.[b] I had given up all hope of
being with her.
Recently I went though the greatest tragedy of my life but to my
greatest surprise(honestly) she showed the most concern to me among
my friends through smses, calling and giving small thoughtful
presents. I told her that she was very important to me and her
concern had helped me through the tragedy. She did not seem to be
uncomfortable in reaction and has in fact asked me on a overseas
trip(with mutual friends of course) or to meet her.
To be honest, I don't know whether if pure sympathy was the cause
of her concern. If all she felt for me was sympathy then I rather
she just show it more subduedly.
I am not complaining but if she just gave false hope, then I would
have to feel terrible and hopeless again when the time
comes.
I have never told our mutual friends of my liking for her because I
do not want her to be teased or to feel pressured when we are with
mutual friends. Frankly I was comfortable with my feelings not
being returned through the last 2 years even though I loved her in
my heart, I told myself love had no conditions. Prepared to wait
10, 20, 30 years quietly until she gets a bf.
And no, I do not believe it is irrational or unhealthy of me to
refuse to force myself to forget her. I still try to get to know
other girls and expand my circle and when the times comes, I will
be able to let go....[/b]
Hey Soldier,
I think what you are doing is healthy. Remember to show your
support for her and do hang out (no obligations) whenever possible.
You do not have to bent over the back..just support her. Should
treat her like your good friend.
However, do expand your social circle so that you can meet more
people.
Last thing, I think there are some good character building here so
do keep up the good work. Gals are more mature than men in certain
aspect so be mature and fun and interesting...
All the best.
