Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Most relationship
never made it there because most relationships perish, not because
of circumstances, but because of inner conditions.
Allow me to share my two cents for your consideration: please do
not reckon that the mutual respect of space, freedom and
understanding contributes to the downfall of your relationship. In
fact, it's probably the first finger we often pinpoint whenever
promiscuity/infidelity strikes in any relationship.
But I can tell you these only represent the catalysis.
The attribution to external causes per se only reveals a distorted
truth; it always seeks to blur the real underlying problem of
ourselves and tries to besmirch one's perception in Love.
Our relationship is never stagnant; stagnation is but an phrase we
often used to describe the life of a relationship, but
theoretically, relationship never stays dormant. A long period of
stagnation is often unconscious degeneration of the relationship
and before you know it, this degeneration will be revealed upon the
introduction of 'catalysis'.
One must fully understand that relationship is indeed forged by
freewill. Nobody is coerced to love another person; we love
incidentally and later made the choice to further this love into a
relationship. Therefore, you got to weigh your own risk to see if
you are still willing to pool the resources to make this investment
worthwhile.
Pull out if you can't seem to forgive - you will save yourself a
lot of misery.
Hardwork never equate to success in love - you merely learn to
adapt according to what your cosmic lesson would require and
introspect regularly. Never set yourself on the degenerating path
no matter what your encounters are - it's sad to know of people who
saw the beauty of trust, only to destroy and blind this perception
they once to bad circumstances.
So continue to keep good perspective and definition of love, but
work hard at keeping the flame alive, if your decision is to
continue. Three years of relationship might be a major
consideration why you are still willing to give it a try, but if
you are just planning to try-try-see-how, I say don't bother.
Either you do your best to make it work, or drop everything
altogether.
I will reiterate again: that would seriously save you a lot of
misery.
If we go back to the golden rule - whatever decision you make, it
[b]must
eventually bring you happiness. From there, I believe it should
dissolve your dilemma
like sugar to hot water. 
Cheers[/b]
I agree totally with the moderator, for the advice is practical
yet caring and sincere.
I like the part especially about the explanation of 'stagnation in
relationship' and 'hard work never equate to success in
love'.
Take care, TS.
If you are able to extend that same dedication and care towards
people all around you, other just your bf, you would find that the
love from others, who you call friends, would be more rewarding in
ways which you can only experience for yourself.
Wish you all the best. 
